GLAM! BAM! THANK YOU MA'AM!

Is This Thing On?

2012-01-30T11:32:00.001-06:00

It's almost been 6 months since my last blog.... and I wonder why I don't have a following? lol

Lots has happened in that six months. By far a TIE for the biggest thing was that I maintained my weight loss! For the first time ever I have managed to stay (predominantly) on track during a blog hiatus. The other set for first place was I got engaged! :-) Feel free to read about that here.

Coming back from vacation was a huge drag. We had a BLAST in Mexico. I know now, to take off at least a few more days to get myself back in the spirit. It was sooooo relaxing. Six days of fun in the sun...7-day forecast said it would rain everyday and it only did twice.... At night. Which worked, if you know what I mean.

Any who, since being back I have had my bouts of laze and activity, admittedly. But proud to say that I've managed to do enough to maintain my weight. Not one single pound gain. I started using a really cool, FREE weight loss app called My Fitness Pal . This is totally my go-to app to log calories and workouts. Even though I've been spending more time with my Weight Watchers app due to zero point veggies. But I totally support and believe in MFP and it will always be my go to app when I am counting calories. It's just too much to log calories and Points Plus right now.

I've recently redeemed a Living Social voucher to a boxing gym on the southside and I'm following WW to a T.. and I'm down 5 lbs.

I've got some new goals in the making too.. besides trying to get Honeymoon fit, I MAY consider having another baby. With that goal alone I have to get down 5-10 lbs LESS than what I want to be, just because. Come with me and watch 2012 unfold... I hope you're staying active and fit!

Weigh In Rituals... or Superstitions

2011-08-06T09:26:00.003-05:00

So I have been weighing in (practically) every week in the SAME leggings for the last 6 weeks. I will wear them until I literally have them slouched (there's already room) and baggy around my thighs and have to tie them behind me! lol!

They're part of my ... good luck charm almost. Last weekend, the honey surprised me with a weekend away from the house and sent our sun to stay with his aunt.

When packing my bag in a a giddy rush, I left them at home. I visited a site in the suburb we stayed in to weigh in... up 1.2 lbs (never mind the big Wild Fire dinner I had of lamb porterhouse chops and broccoli and the cocktails at the casino!)

Back at my meeting this week, in my "lucky leggings" down 2.6 ... never mind last night was a completely OP day with no imbibing (I've stopped drinking until my vacation in September) and a filling WW-approved dinner before 8 p.m. It is my superstition.

I also hope I get to goal before it gets too cold... because I wear only one of two pairs of slide on shoes... which I slide off, put ONE paper towel on the scale... deep breath and step on.

I also...

Make sure I don't eat before weigh in (which is fine because I weigh in before 7:30 a.m.).

I use the restroom at the Center. Extra water weight or something, right?

I have a snack to eat during my meeting. Usually a piece of fruit. And my first water of the day.

I go home and prepare a "Big Breakfast*" for the boys and I:
Scrambled Egg & Whites topped with Salsa
Turkey Bacon / Links
Milk
(If I've been a very good girl and had a stellar weigh in, a slice of raisin toast)
Followed by another piece of fruit (if still hungry).... water.
*It's called big because my usual breakfast is much "lighter" lol..yogurt, fruit granola etc

THEN and only then, I proceed about my normal day. Because I feel in my heart THAT sets the tone for my whole OP week.

Do you have any WI Superstitions or Rituals?

Tell me about that...

Lucky 13... wait... is 13 lucky?

2011-07-04T08:08:00.003-05:00

Jumpstart!

So even though I haven't been HERE! I have been active. I come to you down 13 pounds with 20-25 more on my radar. I've been working out no LESS than three times a week. Most times five. I did break a toe that sidelined me for a month. I broke it May 21, 2011. I gained 4.8 pounds during that down time and learned that when I CAN'T workout I become very down on myself and will therefore eat anything in sight. lol

I'm not doing any certain workout.. in fact I'm switching it up to keep a creative routine. I do Chalene Extreme for strength workouts. I walk with a Meetup Group once or twice a week. I recently started loving some belly dance classes. I try out some Power Plate workouts, Flirty Girl, bike riding, yoga, whatever! I'm all over the place as far as activity is concerned.

I've also been following The Jennifer Hudson Meal Plan fairly diligently for nearing 16 weeks. Feeling good, looking good and will be more consistent here from now on. Promise.

I've been checking out a lot of Fit Blogs lately and became really irritated with myself that I haven't taken this thing of blogging a bit more seriously. I'll do better.

2011-06-24T14:47:00.001-05:00

I am a TERRIBLE blogger.

I don't know why I do this.

Especially when it's been a whole damn year since I've touched this here blog. *smh* You may forgive me, but my thighs won't.

So much catching up to do, but if I do the whole thang, this blog will be too long to read so let me hit the hot spots.

I started a detox with the honey March 1. Since then I've went back and forth on getting fit and then not... I just came off a toe break so now I am back

...NO REALLY!

H-A-Double U-A-Eye-Eye!

2010-06-24T06:34:00.005-05:00

"Ma$e can you please stop smokin La La? Puff why try, I'ma thug I'ma die high!"

Exactly 3 months till the honey and I venture to the islands of Hawaii for his 30th Bday and my MISSION is to be 20 lbs lighter. I often frown on deadline-oriented goals. Because even though they are effective, they can be damaging because people put back on the pounds directly after they are done traveling, with the engagement, ceremony or whatever special occasion it is. (I will NOT be one of those people.... no, but forreal. If anything this trip is just what I needed to get serious.)

The Y had a special on summer memberships again, so I got in on that. $25 a month for the family and I to use any Y in the Metro Chicago area. I will be focusing on 10,000 steps a day, a morning workout via Chalene Extreme (starting Sunday morning), lunchtime workouts that started this week, evening strolls with my Soror and our youth on Mondays and Wednesdays (resuming next week, the weather has sucked this week - Midwest-like "tornado" yesterday and all) and a couple evening workouts at my neighborhood Y on lighter days. In all 6 days of working out, but one is more Tai Chi/Yoga/Stretch related so it's really a "rest day" too. I wrote it all out yesterday. In addition, I will still be following the good health guidelines of WW.. no fad diets for me. I will also be participating in a couple Mommy and Me classes they offer with my sun. Gymnstics and Kiddie Groove to name a couple!

All that being said, my MISSION is 20 lbs but I will be more than satisfied with 12-16 (you know weight loss is a strange beast) but I'm confident 20 won't be too far a stretch. In addition, in Hawaii, I WILL be 1. wearing bikinis (I've already started to look for them because this will make sure I don't overeat; can't be walking round Hawaii with a big ol gut!) 2. doing activities that don't just involve lying on the beach (I've already purchased a hiking excursion, debating on another because it takes a great part of one day away from us... but it has waterfalls!) and 3. using the fitness center. Plus 4. enjoying in-room activities.

Super excited. I've never been to Hawaii before... and I hear it's expensive, but well worth the visit. We'll both be 30, it's time to start living life and enjoying all its blessings. Right, bra? (a lil Hawaii slang... just cuz!)

The storm is over now... let some sunshine in.

Fit Life

2010-06-13T09:04:00.002-05:00

Today is the first day of the rest of my Fit Life.

I've been doing extremely well on staying active. I've been taking the stairs at my job versus the elevator since I only work on two. I work in a corporate complex so I often have to park pretty far, and even when I don't I do. I have to walk between two buildings in my campus. I just bought a new pedometer to be able to keep track of how many steps I'm getting in. I'm thinking it should be pretty damn close to 10,000. But we shall see, you know how that goes: think you're walkin a million, really walkin 3,000. lol

I'm about to go weigh in, after missing last week. I am not going to miss ANY more weigh-ins. I've given myself a Sept 21 deadline to get the last of my weight OFF of me. That's the mister's 30th birthday. He's still very focused on his healthy living as well. I'm suprising him with a VERY cool present(s) if I do say so myself and we will both need to be fabulous for it. I would tell you guys but I'm 85% sure he reads this blog from time to time... probably more than I write on it for sure lol.

Anywho, today is the day... no more ruts, no more stoppages. I cleaned my house spic 'n span last week and my mindset is so much better. I've still been holdin on to my loss but now my focus, I feel, is also there. Let's continue to do this!

Get On My Level

2010-04-26T12:09:00.001-05:00

"Water seeks its own level." ~ExH.I.T.

Greetings and Salutations! (I've always wanted to "say" that... not sure why.) I come to you a very content woman today as I progress in all facets. Officially 10 pounds lighter, I now can really feel like I am taking steps in the right direction of where my place in this life is going. I am pleased to be making adjustments and doing daily work with someone on my level.

Working as a team is pretty OK, I'm learning... doing away with the selfishness of the past and moving toward a future is healthy and progressive and, I'm learning, a lot of fun. It's nice to stop focusing on the small stuff, and entrust that to Jehovah that he will take care of it in his time, but to keep my mind focused on the big things and keep enjoying where I am in this space and time. I love it. Recently, the mister and I have started working out... together.

"The best way to enhance a relationship is to lead a healthy lifestyle -- as a couple." ~ Jillian (That Deal) Michaels (I adore Jillian... I may have a teeny girl crush on her... teeny.)

It's different and liberating for me to have gone back to leading a healthy lifestyle while in a life with someone... before I've always done it when I kick someone to the curb, get my sexy back as a single girl... then get in a relationship and lose myself in him with date nights, alcohol-infused functions, lazy Saturdays and just being in love and happily fat and all that... so it was nice to get the gumption to return to WW while in a couple, and then see him take an interest in getting himself back young and fit as well. Very cool stuff. Of course now, that adds a bit of pressure for me because EVERYBODY knows men lose weight much faster than we do, so I would be lying if I didn't say, he pushes me because when I want to have a honey bun for breakfast and he chooses Total, I get back on my mental ya dig. Granted, neither of us is (fortunately) anywhere close to being like a gastric candidate or anything, but it's amazing just the energy you get back from doing just a little bit more than you did last week, yesterday... and the different things you have energy for and how it enhances you.

"When you're feeling strong and confident, you also feel a lot sexier—and that'll boost your sex life." ~J. Michaels

I have been getting the baby itch lately... my poor sun wants to see his friends, his cousins, anyone he can to play with... but I cannot, will not, enter into another pregnancy overweight (or unmarried for that matter but mostly overweight) because I just can't keep doing this back and forth anymore with my health. I've got to prove to myself that I AM in control of my own body.
"Make a woman feel like she's the hottest, most feminine person in the world and she'll love you..." I like that one Jillian... to the same effect as women, doing the work to make ourselves healthier and feeling inside that will exude that femininity, brew that sexiness, and we will (more importantly) love OURSELVES... I love myself you guys!!!

I know and understand that there's ways to enjoy life and the things I want in a pair without sacrificing my temple ANY longer. It's just... nice... sure it has it's scary parts and plot twists here and there, but watching the "fairytale" unfold is definitely making me a lot more level-headed.

Photo Source: http://www.geo.uu.nl/fg/palaeogeography/pictures/results_fluvialstyle/02_Meanderende_rivier.jpg

Take (Self) Care

2010-02-26T21:15:00.009-06:00

(Editor's Note: I'm coming off two weeks of very little/sporadic rest, strep throat, a missed budget, and lots of work...)

So yesterday I walked past my mirror and caught a glimpse of myself... I was not pleased. Not only did my skin look blah and drab, but my hair looked dry and I looked fat (yet happy -- like literally, I was walking past singing a song very loudly and with a smile on my face, saw myself and my smile faded)... life has been really good as of late, yet my body shows a different story. So, I took a vow (didn't I already DO that??) to do better.

Money can be soooo tight sometimes, I often forget to take care of myself. After that mirror glimpse it dawned on me that in recent months, I stopped getting my regular mani/pedis, I'd went several more weeks than my normal four for retwisting my roots, I hadn't gotten my eyebrow maintenance, I'd put on a few pounds, I wasn't drinking much water, I hadn't washed my truck in Jehovah knows how long.... *sigh*

All very interesting seeing as how, I'm -- well I was -- the girl who wouldn't go so much as to the grocery store without making sure I was on the top of my game... maybe not stilettos and booty jeans for a store run but definitely cognisant of looking good and feeling my best. I haven't done that lately. Today, my sweetheart treated my car to a carwash. He called me and asked me to meet him there where he was getting his car done and grateful to not have it looking a mess, I immediately went. Throwing on an old pair of Adidas to top off my black lounge pants, I wrapped myself in muh black bubble Eddie Bauer and tied up my scarf... and headed out.

I got there and after we'd both finally got in, I went to sit next to him. In walks the chick that used to be me, dressed to impress even if only to go to the car wash. And I started to think.... what the HECK has happened to me?? I can't even blame it on being a mommy, cause as we all should by know, I've always deemed myself MILF status ever since I was good and pregnant.... but I've allowed my weight to literally control my mood. I'm not imaginative with my work wardrobe anymore... just kinda go with the flow. Since I'm on my feet all day, I avoid wearing heels often... I gave lots and lots of my shoes away to charity because I was originally to buy a bus load more... never happened... so, I went to buy some clothes for myself to give myself a boost in the right direction today... nothing huge, just a bit of retail therapy for my mood that matches my skin.

Ladies, have you been there before? In that spot where you just don't feel like yourself? How did you fix the problem? Or was it just an issue for the moment? I mean, really, sometimes I'm so bored and want to go out, but don't feel I look right in ANYTHING I put on. I used to know I was the hottest thing on my King's arm, lately I wonder if I don't get invited to something is it because he thinks I look drab too. lol... I laugh cause I'm serious.

I recently wrote a blog about us (ladies) not losing sight of ourselves in order to do our part to keep The Black Family strong and the excitement in our relationships.

In gist, I'm not feeling my normal overly confident self and I hate it... and I know it's something serious because I'm not even bleeding and I feel this way... for my guy readers, that means it's not the PMS talking. So consider this my two weeks notice. I'm going to start looking how I feel (which is really a whole other story in itself, does that mean when I was looking my very best I was secretly masking being unhappy?? Lawd... so many unanswered questions!) and taking charge of myself in the best of times and the worst of times...

Brings me back to the discussion (can't find the link) about how I am most motivated to lose weight and stay in shape when I am single and looking... ridiculous. I'm not announcing it to the world or anything, but I've got to get it together... I'm on it. No, seriously. It's time to be a little bit selfish.... cause how can I be the best mom and woman if I don't take care of myself first? I'm pretty dope at both now, so just imagine if I looked and felt I looked my best. I'm just adding some perspective... for myself.

Sometimes it's useful to be a little selfish and introspective otherwise you may just find yourself living someone else's life, achieving someone else's dreams or driving down a road with no destination or end game. ~ The Ripple Effect (Blog)

Photo Sources: http://www.wellspouse.org
http://rainbow120.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/self-esteem-training.jpg

Gotta Keep on Keepin On..

2009-10-04T22:23:00.002-05:00

My life is hella funny.

The things I care about most seem to never be aligned at the same time, or if they are, for very long.

I dunno why that is... but I can't dwell on it either. You know? Like I can't wallow. I can't beg and plead for it to act right... I can only count on me.

I can't believe it's October. September ran right by. And I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to either.

During that month (my previous post) I touched on how my life was about to experience a lot of change, for the better. I started a new job (which I love) and had a lot of training (that hasn't yet ended) and trips and long days. My sun started school and that was a whole new experience for me. And then you throw in family life and trying to keep a house together... oy. My finances are still QUITE problematic, as I play catch-up and "oh man, I really can't pay that" lol but I am hoping things will turn around sooner than later. But don't get me wrong, it's very nice to have a steady paycheck coming in... starting this Thursday.

Work was a bit frustrating because NONE of my equipment was showing up. I just got an email last week. But still don't have my Blackberry, which will help organize my life.. a LOT. My Outlook calendar will be a busy, fun mess! But I need my stuff. I feel so... incomplete. I hope to be able to stop by the office in the a.m. on my way out to yet more training to pick it up, but we shall see. But I am truly, truly ready to have control again... I just don't know why I can't have it right now. I was doing SO well before my knee blew out. I am determined to get back there with more on my daily schedule. A truly committed person can make it work with a full day or nothing on her calendar at all. I gotta find my game face!

I've gotta stop procrastinating!

Like today, I've sat around all day. Had an emotional argument, break down, followed by complete confidence/dismissive attitude and then did NOTHING for the rest of the day. Didn't get our clothes ironed laid out, no lunches made, and now it's 10:37 CST. WTF..

I have GOT to do betta. Or I am just gonna continue to .... flail.

I need to be packing a lunch, EVERYDAY. This way I won't be eating whatever, in a rush. Granted when out of town or in training this is hard, because the meals are planned for me... but still. Where there is a plan, there is a will to win.

Furthermore, my whole job is based on making my own schedule, filling my own calendar. I am normally very organized... I just need to stop bullshitting... yes. There. I said it.

I know that I can DO it... no matta WHAT my day looks like. I CAN make good choices.. live my life, but in a healthy fashion, following my healthy lifestyle.

My team captain said it best: "I have the choice what I do with my spare 30 minutes. I have the choice what I put in my mouth. I have the choice how I react to stressful situations or emotions that arise. I am in control of my health."

(Oh ee oh, dancin in) September Epiphany

2009-09-01T20:51:00.003-05:00

Well hello there! I'm still here... feelin fat and what not.

I've been on a celebratory binge to enjoy getting a job offer on Friday. In RETROSPECT, I did it a lot more controlled than I normally would. So for that, I am proud of myself. But I'm really trying to get back to business as usual.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna try out a run. On my knee. Pray for me.

This will be a very busy week for me planning meals, getting together a schedule I'm comfortable with, researching a YMCA near my (new) job for lunchtime workouts, getting a cooler for my car to house my food and snacks for the day, researching day cares and the like... it's cool cause for the first time in a long time, I find myself pulling out a gym bag from the storage area for lunchtime workouts... This is going to work, pun intended.

With September upon me... I must focus. I think getting a schedule about my day will help immensely. Now if only my (new) supervisor would call me about the lunch date we're supposed to have to discuss particulars. I'm too excited about this opportunity for it to fall through now... soooo... come on. I'll call him in the morning to see if we're still on.

In the meantime, I have two other day cares to check out tomorrow. Hopefully, will be able to make my choice by Friday.

I'm really, really excited about all that's going on... and I feel really good about the progress I'll make. Before when I wasn't working, working out was my sanctuary and then it was taken from me with the knee stuff... but now it will be an addition to my actual LIFE. Hopefully... oyee... call me back! haha

30 x 30 Challenge
So today is the first of my favorite month ~ September. I adore fall... and it is the welcome to it. I am determined to center my chi and focus to drop (not lose, because when you lose things you ultimately find them) 30 pounds to my goal weight. Exactly 19 weeks to my 30th birthday. And I have a plan in mind... I wish I could stay in reflective mode ALL DAY because that is when I am my best. I really miss my runs, so I AM going to get up in the morning and give one a good old try.. and pray like hell it doesn't hurt or irk.

SO.. I'm gonna keep it to 1200-1350 calories.. I'm going to see about getting through the months of September with no red meat or pork and no more than 4 oz of meat a day. Lots of fruit and veggies.

A (hopeful) C25K run 3 times a week.

Strength training through Chalene Extreme... MUST get through this 3-month program.

When all is said and done... my goals will come into existence but I definitely need to:

1. Stop getting down on myself when I do slip.
2. Turn every negative into a positive until the negatives disappear.
3. BELIEVE in myself.
4. Learn how to control my impulses and celebrations.

Through a steady routine of running and strength training... I must emerge.

I'm tired ya'll... tired of not living to my potential. Tired of not being the size I'm supposed to be... the health I deserve... the energy I need... but I can't continue to talk about it. In fact... I'm tired of that too. It's time for action. And I know I have had epiphany's before... or thought I did... but I'm seriously done... talking.

Time for some action.

This September of 2009 is the beginning of my new life, a healthier life with my sun, my love and working hard for the things I want to keep me grounded.

Time for some action.

UPDATE BLOG: Are you hurt? Or are you injured?

2009-08-14T10:13:00.008-05:00

Hey! I'm still here! :)

"Are you hurt, or are you injured?"
"What's the difference, coach?"
"If you're hurt you can play, if you're injured..."
~ "Coach Winters" in The Program

Well after a few frustrating days of not being able to see my doctor or schedule an appointment, I decided to show up today on a morning I knew she was scheduled to be in a different office to walk-in and see a new primary care physician. He saw me and my knee and even though the "treatment" of it is spanned out over four weeks, I'm happy that the ball is even rolling. Because it definitely wasn't getting better with R.I.C.E.ing.

So he prescribed me some stronger ibuprofen than what I have in the cabinet and scheduled me for an MRI for the first appt I could get (8/25) saying that hopefully the ibuprofen will start to help the swelling before then. There's like a little bubble of ... something... sitting inside the left side of my left kneecap. And then I follow up with him on 9/8 (the soonest we could meet b/c he's goin on vacay for two weeks and since I just kinda deciced to switch to him as my primary care... he was originally gonna have me see my old physician and I declined. Who knows, maybe a lil ibuprofen inflammatory twice a day (I would never think to take that much ibuprofen in a day) might actually help a ton and by the time I see him he'll have even better news for me.) In the meantime, I'll wait. It severely throws off my timetable, but I'm just gonna start getting in about 30 minutes of the elliptical three times a week... not too long, but enough to get something done. And possibly some swimming. (I don't like the upkeep of swimming with all the showering in the gym and swim caps and carrying on lol) and staying as flexible as possible in hopes to keep up my endurance so that when this is all said and done, I can pick up where I left off, repeating week 4 and moving on with my life. Hopefully that won't throw off my training for my 5K too much. It's still 11/1 so hopefully all will be well. I have high hopes.

As of this morning I'm doing best to follow the Fat Smash Detox as of this a.m. I have never been very successful doing this... why, I'm not sure especially when I have managed to Master Cleanse for several days in succession. So this time, especially since now my activity has severely decreased, I need to make sure I follow the eating "rules" to continue to be able to positively contribute to the challenge I'm in on Spark People. So far today, I've had a small something every couple hours. Banana for breakfast, strawberry protein smoothie (with a cup of real strawberries in addition to the strawberry mix) and then two veggie kebabs with zucchini, squash and yellow pepper. Very tasty. I am soaking my red beans to make vegetarian red beans and gonna make a big pot of brown rice for the "heavy" stuff. But keeping it predominantly veggies and fruits and actually gonna really stick to the guidelines of how you're to prepare them: steamed, raw or grilled. Wish me luck.

30 X 30 Challenge
Thanks to Allyn, a Spark buddy, I was motivated to SHED 30 pounds by our 30th bday. She's a Capricorn as well and our 30th bdays are in days of each other. It's ironic because I'd thought to strive for that before, but the impatient girl in me, really wanted to get it done MUCH sooner than that. But that is also how I have done in the past. I put a LOT of pressure on myself to meet these dates when, sensibly, it would be better to give myself more time, even if I don't need it. It's just the fair thing to do. I owe myself that. My birthday present to myself will be MAINTENANCE. lol

Well, actually, I am looking into a February Ski/Super Bowl trip to the Catskills as my belated present. But my real present is maintenance. :)

Good-bye "Good" Parts!
Even in all this madness, I have still managed to lose a nice amount of weight (even tho the doc's scale was like 4 lbs heavier than what my home scale says I am... oyeee... need a new scale, man) and I want to keep these results.

I really, truly... truly miss C25K. I had no idea I could enjoy running so much. It's very empowering. And I hope I can get back to it a lot sooner than later.

A little while ago, I wrote a blog about losing the "good parts" . I am proud to announce that those good parts are slimming on down. My tight skinny jeans... not so tight anymore. I am seeing the results of my work and it makes me feel so great.

I caught a glance at myself in the full-body mirror and while I AM trimming down the "good parts" I'm also toning them up and lifting thangs splendidly... and guess what? The man notice anyhow.

As I told BUTTA... the men are taking notice not only because our BODIES are changing but WE are changing. Our self-esteem grows with every workout we finish, every inch we lose and every muscle we gain. Yay for us.

In the meantime...
I finally bought my poster board. I am about to use my "down" time as a breather to get my collage done... I am excited about the project and can't wait to post pics.

Keep moving...

This Stops... Right NOW!

2009-08-12T22:22:00.007-05:00

My thoughts today were like my bloated tummy... bulging out my head like my muffin top was over my loser jeans. And then it went from thoughts of bloat to laze, then laze to loser... Well, dammit, as of now, I lose no more.

As I am changing my life and diet and health (yay) I have come to terms with my "issues."

The number one issue: my tummy.

In high school I had a "glimpse of a four pack." I was a dual athlete and still didn't have a six-pack of perfect abs. So now as a near-30-year-old mom, I have pretty much set my sights on never... ever... having the stomach I really, really want. BUT, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. But what I am noticing is, my stomach is a lot kinder when I eat the right foods. For about five days I lived with a flat tummy... I had one bad day yesterday scarfing down cakes and popcorn and carbo loading and the bloat is back... could there be something to eating right that might get me THE tummy I want? (Whoooaaaa there ya go, Einstein!)

I saw on The View this morning that when you have a baby your stomach muscles tear something like 20% during and after childbirth. And the chances of getting your tummy back up to par are very slim AND that if you really want that to happen the sooner you start your post-partum exercises, the better.... ummmmm well, my sun is 2. lol Sooooo that pretty much is a big ol kick in the jaw for your girl. I am LATE. lol AND I haven't been on my best behavior for two years either, so this is really, really bad news. Ha!

At annny rate... I'm still going to give it an old-fashioned try. I felt like a complete and utter loser after munching on all that stuff yesterday. Even sadder? I KNEW I would. Seriously. I kid you not, on IM with my homegirl while baking the cake I said, and I quote: I know I'm gonna feel like sh*t afterwards... but I'm gonna eat it anyway.

Really hormones? Is this the score? Self sabotage is a BIA! I mean... truly. How could I just not.care? Then today it all made sense. This is what I have always done... not.care. Well, I'm done not caring... ESPECIALLY about myself. I'm done putting myself behind everything and everybody. I'm taking a mini-vacation the second weekend of September. I'm gonna go to Wisconsin for Fit Fest and earn some CECs by participating in some fun, healthy activity. I'm gonna research some walking trails while there and just spend some time doing for ME. In nature, with like-minded people and the goal is to be even smaller (5 lbs less, a couple inches here and there).

I told my Hot 2 Trot Cutie teammates today that I want my house in the shape it's SUPPOSED to be in by Sept. 1. And I will get it there. All the updates done, floors cleaned and waxed, shelving up, closet finished. I'm starting this fall with a clear mind, top-shape home and a new me... when smaller aspects in your life are in order, the rest flows better.

As apart of The Biggest Loser Challenge (8-weeks) that ended today I lost 9 lbs! 25 more and I'm at the middle of my goal range... the time is now. No more dumb-ass binges... no more sabotage... no more silliness. It's time... time for me to start becoming the best me. I am not perfect nor will I ever be, but I'm tired of causing the issues. Causing the trouble. Tired of bloating... tired of moping... tired of not living to my potential. I've been holding my own self back.

This laziness has got to go. Don't we deserve to be our BEST?

Let's start putting self ... first. Because when we're happy, everything else will fall into place and we can be who we need to be for the ones we love, the jobs we frequent, best contributors to our places of worship... guaranteed! We're so brainwashed into thinking we can't do something... we don't. Let's STOP thinking like this. Stop defeating ourselves before we even try. I CAN have a great stomach. I can take charge of my healthy life. I know I will. Will you?

Hi/Lo

2009-08-11T08:51:00.005-05:00

HI: The Need 4 Speed

Welp! After several days off I finally started my second week four today and it went great. YAY! I am kicking those run intervals butts!

I've decided to only do one more day of week four at this speed (I took a chance and upped my speed varying between 4.5-4.8) on Thursday and then start W5D1 on Saturday, buttt because week 5's day three is to jog for 20 minutes (or 2 miles) straight (oyyeee) I may do day one a couple times, day two a couple times then day three. After day three I will repeat for a week, doing one to two of those runs outside. I'm nervous bout 20 mins straight; I just haven't done it in a loooong time -- oh wait, scratch that, I've never done that. Ha! So it's hard to see myself doing it but, I WILL DO IT!

I've mentioned that my first 5K is November 1. I was originally shooting for late September/early October, but I wanted to spend a little more time preparing hoping for it to be as competitive as I can push myself versus risking the possibility of having to stop because I'm not properly trained. What I didn't take into account is that by Nov. 1 in Chicago it's gonna be CHILLY! So that's a whole different training method. But it's cool. By 8/26/09 I should be ready to take it to the pavement. Very scary stuff, man.

BUT, I'm gonna do this.

Thanks to upping my run speed this a.m. (I did the first week four at 4.0) in 27 mins walk/run I covered 1.85 miles. In the first week 4 I covered only 1.5 in the same time.. so progress. :) And it felt really good.

LO: Get Thee Behind Me, ~~Satan~~ TOM!!
With the old "red eye" in plain view, my cravings and emotional eating have started. I musta lost track of the days because yesterday I didn't understand why I was close to eating too much and today after my third serving of pasta (whole-wheat of course) it was like "ohhhh, that's right!" Now I am currently fighting the urge to make the Devil's Food Cake that's been sitting in my cupboard forever. Perhaps that's why it's there?! *sigh* This is going to be a constant battle, isn't it?

I'm not afraid of maintenance... but I am gonna have to burn mad calories tomorrow. Cause I'm makin the damn cake.

.... don't be like me.. lol be better. I'll consider it my cheat day and move on.

A Dieter's Prayer

2009-08-09T04:37:00.002-05:00

Found this on a Spark buddies page... just awesome. lol

A DIETER'S PRAYER

Lord, won't you help me?
It's that time of year.
Winter has come and gone.
Springtime is here.
In this season of flesh,
Won't you show that you care?
Lord, won't you heed
This dieter's prayer.

Teach me tonight
To love cottage cheese,
Grapefruit and celery,
Lord, if you please.
Make me believe
That tofu's a food,
And not something you made up
When you were in a bad mood.

Lord, won't you help me?
Show that you care.
Lord, won't you heed
This dieter's prayer.
Make me believe
That ice cream's just awful,
That the devil is hiding
Inside every waffle.
That mayonnaise is nothing
But a communist plot.
That broccoli is good for you
And chocolate is not.

Keep me away
From the refrigerator door
When life is a trial
And love is a bore.
Save me from nachos,
And tacos and chips,
For what goes in my mouth
Always lands on my hips.
Oh, pizza, oh pasta,
Oh, popcorn, oh, pork!
Get thee behind me
Oh, knife and oh, fork.
And chicken fried steak
From the deepest of south...
Oh, Lord, if you love me,
Won't you please shut my mouth?

Oh, Lord, do you hear me?
Honk if you're there.
Lord, won't you heed...
You know my need...
Oh, Lord, won't you heed
This dieter's prayer?

So how bout we all just DO IT... don't DIET!

Weekly Reflection... Percentages... Injured Randomness...

2009-08-06T23:27:00.004-05:00

So with weigh-in upon me... this day has been an energetic ride uphill... hard. I've been reflecting since I woke up from my late nap (6 p.m.) My food tracking has been kinda shady and sporadic the last couple days. And I got on the scale and saw a number I didn't appreciate despite seeing a number I appreciated yesterday. Now, because I know it's not always good to weigh yourself everyday, and ESPECIALLY not different times everyday, I wasn't trippin too much on the numbers/difference but it DID make me wonder about how truly committed to this I am. With a sore knee pickin at me since Tuesday, I've wondered about everything about it from it being a simple sprain that will fade with time to an injury that will be with me for the rest of my life. I immediately (in my world) was angry with myself because well, our knees suffer from the pressure of our body weight more than any other joint. And here I am 30 lbs heavier than I should be. Of course my poor knee is gonna whine. *sigh* Then I thought about my poor tracking.. knowing how important it is to journal food... how could I let this fall by the wayside? I want to be in MAINTENANCE MODE by the winter... how in the heck can I get there if I am not committed EVERYDAY?

So I started thinking, what percentage am I giving?

Anyone can log a thousand fitness minutes a week but if that person is still eating trash... the results will be less than stellar.

Likewise, if one is eating clean without any activity, you'll see the difference but muscle tone and strength and overall health are lessened...

These two are interchangeable... and once I really realize that, perhaps that is when I will really start to morph and see that. I have to learn to balance life, love and all that's in between for myself... to get to 100% committed. Nothing less than that will do. With that said, I've decided to start sharing my food trackers. Not that anyone will really read them, but knowing that someone might... perhaps that'll keep me accountable.

Blah... It seems I'm in a mood.

Blame the "injury"... reflections eternal.

Head and Shoulders, Knees and Woes... Knees and Woes.

2009-08-05T21:45:00.000-05:00

I felt so good when my eyes popped open this a.m. then I placed my feet down and felt that it wasn't a dream, I did hurt my knee and it was still quite tender. The PLAN was to go to the gym this a.m. and give the elliptical a spin. But after a little bit of thought, I decided to take it easy today and see what I feel like in the morning. (Tomorrow is SUPPOSED to be my third day of week four but we shall see.) I did 20-minute Turbo Jam (the culprit that pulled my knee in the first place) and it didn't feel too bad. I moderated some of the moves to low impact not because I was hurting but to be safe.

My focus today was super clean eating (ehh, I did OK) and cleaning the kitchen (halfway done) since I am getting around on it better than yesterday (ahhh, progress). I was also supposed to do Turbo Sculpt for what I thought would be some upper-body lifting but I turned it on and it was a lot of whole-body work (i.e., bicep curls with squats etc) and I didn't want to overdo it... cause I'm praying I can get through my run OK tomorrow morning. But I did make sure to do SOMETHING.

I didn't ice much today as expected.. I only rested and elevated it a lot. I'm just really praying that I can get back on the tread tomorrow for a successful W4D3. I just really enjoyed Tuesday's run and want to get back out there... plus I feel and see it working in my quads, hammy's, hell, even my abdomen... even at a glacial pace of 4.0... it starting to thrill me. But, I'm not idiot. If I have to wait till Friday or Saturday, I guess that's what I will have to do. It'll just be a little frustrating; but off bat I was planning to spend at least two solid weeks on week four before moving on to Week 5. This is the first time I've experience a knee problem so I am really out of my element on how to address it. But I've been reading helpful articles and feel confident and blessed that it wasn't worse and I am taking proper precautions. It could have been much worse, sidelining me indefinitely yanno?

In more exciting news, I am moving my closet frames upstairs tomorrow finally so that we can start putting them together and adding the walls and prep for the poles and things. So it's gonna be a busy day whether I like it or not. So hopefully I treat my knee well enough tonight that she praises me with act-right tomorrow. :)

This was originally gonna be a "sad" post... filled with "woe is me" but it turns out I may not need to turn on the dramatics after all.. the small set back was just a slightly painful, irritating reminder to ALWAYS practice perfect form, keep soft knees and watch for foot/ankle placement in aerobic activity. And who doesn't need to know those hard-fast and important rules? If we're gonna be doing this for a lifetime journey (as we all should) we're gonna need to make it as safe as possible.

Onward and downward!

Week (4) In The Knee(s)

2009-08-04T13:08:00.001-05:00

Today was W4D2 and it was AWESOME. NO shin pain. I decided to run at a speed of 4.0 (15-min mile). By slowing it down from jump, it seems my my shin really appreciated it. It's still soon time for new shoes. The side of my foot, (perhaps a bunion? not sure need to get an expert opinion it's been there as long as I can remember) was rubbing and irritating me so a larger shoe (as the guy at the store suggested) will be in order. But besides that, the shoes and I are starting to mesh.

So I did 35 minutes of that and then (since I got off to a slow start this a.m. and wasn't able to check out the jump start cardio class at 6:15) came home and did 20-min Turbo Jam. During it, I think -- no I know -- I pulled something in my already tender knee.. Ugh.

I've been hecka active lately... not including my 1500-calories burned day last week, I'm upping my cardio more and more AND my intensity levels. I've also been spending this week getting the house in order... for real this time!! Yesterday I finished the entire upper level to prepare for the closet frames that are being moved upstairs Thursday. I need to workout as much as possible and get the house together before I go back to work. School is back in session very soon.

If I have it in me, I'm gonna do Cardio Party (42 mins) for Turbo Jam. Oh, and I must must must do squats today. Trying to keep my booty spectacular and this cardio is already trimming at it. Bitter sweet this workout business is, but I can keep it tight and high. lol BUUUTTTT with a sensitive knee it would probably be best for me to R.I.C.E it and try again toma, starting with low-intensity. My homework assignment: find a Y with yoga and water aerobics. Need those kindsa activities to combat high-impact runs and Turbo Jam.

In nutritional news, I am cutting my calories a bit this week to kinda shock my system. Only thing is that went to sh*t yessaday... so boo to that, but today is a new day and the smaller number on the scale this a.m. was motivation to keep it together to prep for Friday's weigh-in.

I made a raspberry strawberry protein smoothie to utilize my last cup of raspberries before they went bad. LAST time I buy "exotic" fruit from the Food 4 Less in a crunch instead of waiting for Saturday Farmer's Market. Ugh. *scoffs* Food 4 Less... it's less alright! Food 4 Less Quality.

My shake had me completely full until lunchtime AND it was delicious. Hopefully Ricing for today and toma will help. If there is a God in Heaven. I don't want to detour or deter my progress thus far. Oyeee... just when I get one thing figured out, mo drama. Wish me luck.

Runner In Progress

2009-08-02T14:17:00.007-05:00

WELP, I did it!!! I started week four today!!! I blogged about how I was gonna abort the last day of week 3 and move on to week 4 since I felt so comfortable.

Week four consists of two five-minute runs and two 3-minute runs with various shorter walking spurts. I FINISHED!!! I ran each segment I was supposed to, didn't stop. *SMILES PROUDLY* I am so proud of myself, ya'll... you really don't understand.. I could tear up a little bit.

I feel great.

Not saying it wasn't a challenge... Of course Oh Shila started whining a little bit, but I just made sure to cool down, taking the speed down on the walking, walking pigeon-toed then sleuth footed, then pigeon toed etc... whatever adjustments to calm her down then I hit my run intervals again. Making sure to take my time and stretch really well, holding each move for 20-30 seconds after a 8-minute cool down. For a total of 35 minutes of activity. I was running at about 4.5 for the first interval (3 minutes) but knew that I would probably have to take it down some after the 90-second interval because next us was FIVE MINUTES! Eep!! Shila's ass was like, oh no HONEY! I don't know WHAT you thought this was!" But I was like, "shut the hell up and hook it up!" :-) In every relationship there needs to be compromise, so I took my speed down to 3.8. I felt like I was walkin in sand, BUT I can work on speed later. Let me get her to cooperate first then we'll start doing competitive timing. We'll stick to this for a few weeks and then we'll reassess, deal, Shila?

There are little euphoric feelings like that of doing your workout, completing it and being in line with your caloric intake. It's enough to make me emotional. Next run is Tuesday morning, but KNOW that the work doesn't take a rest until then. Condition! Condition! Condition!

I see my runner's body hanging in the closet with those smaller clothes with the tags still on them... and I am gunning for em all. This is goin to be a GREAT first week to kick off August and round off the summer. Let's do it!

August Attack

2009-08-01T23:55:00.006-05:00

With a new month upon us (man, this year is really flying by... I'll be 30 before I know it) I thought it time to re-establish my goals and see what I am doing here. I want to be 165 by September 1. That's gonna take work, commitment, and will power. But I really know I can do it. Not only because I've done it before, but because well, I have to!

But this time is different. Not because it'll be the last time I ever have to make this dance (because believe me, it will be!) but because my body is different. As you know, I have a 2 y/o so I truly believe that my new after-baby body is a little more... stubborn to let the weight go. I need to be disciplined if I am going to persevere. As I've mentioned I am already redirecting my mindset to a healthier living. I just bought more brown rice instead of white and have all whole wheat pastas, breads... and I would have whole-wheat crackers but I wanna finish the Ritz I bought (which claim to be whole wheat but are less than 1g of fiber) quite irritating lol.

At any rate, I did well under my max calories first day of the month. I didn't workout today as planned deciding to take a rest day. I'll be up early for my morning run on the treadmill starting week 4. That's right... week 4! :) I've decided it's time to move forward. I still don't have new new-shoes but my new ones and I are meshing a lot better these days. So I'm gonna check it out and see what happens on those 5-minute intervals.

Day in... day out.
I need a routine for my routine. I have accepted the fact that adult life (hell, life in general) comes with a routine, but have not made the routine work for me to the best of it's ability. It is my ultimate goal to be blessed to wake up January 12 as an even more beautiful, 30-year-old, 140-lb woman, with beautiful teeth, hair, skin, nails and a muscular, toned defined runner's body. And I will. Because I always get what I want and work hard for.

Today began a series of events that is going to reshape me from head-to-toe.... inside out.

I finally, finally replenished my Hair, Skin and Nails vitamin but I went with a different brand. I kept missing GNC operation hours so decided to get it from Dominick's where I went to buy low-fat Coffee ice cream for my Mocha shake (167 cals) I made. (Thanks Weight Watchers cook books!) I also bought (because it was on sale) the Nivea body Good-bye Cellulite 30-Day Body Beauty Program.

I realize you can't get rid of cellulite but these creams and massages are supposed to decrease the appearance of it. Since I don't have a lot of cellulite (and because it was only $10) I thought it would be a cool monthly experiment. It also comes with a little dietary supplement of conjugated linoleic acid and L-Carnitine . So tomorrow I'm gonna take some pictures and see where that leads me come day 30. See if I notice any change or if I just donated $11 and some change to the Nivea fund. :) With this supplement, that will leave me taking 5 pills a day... oyeee... but it's worth it. Just imagine if I could take a pic of my insides? We could see the change over time... but we'll see it on the outside. We all know great health starts from the inside out. From the food we eat and water and nutrients we ingest, we transform our body on the outside with a little sweat of course.

Plan of Attack:
I have decided to go to NETA Fit Fest the second weekend of September to finally lock in the rest of my first re-certifications and get.it.done. By then, it is my hope to be as CLOSE to 160 as possible. Then I will immediately start looking for teaching jobs. Immediately. It is time.

Basic Schedule:
(It's a lot more detailed then this, but here's the public version)
Sunday
C25K 30 minute morning run training
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push Ups

Monday
60-90-minutes of cardio

Tuesday
C25K 30-minute morning run training
30-60 minutes of cardio
10 push ups

Wednesday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen

Thursday
C25K 30 minute morning training

Friday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push ups

Saturday
(rest)

Inches Lost

2009-07-31T09:10:00.003-05:00

"You thought you had me defeated... then I started a disappearing act."
~ Me to the scale this morning after doing body measurements

So when I got up this early a.m. I didn't feel like I should weigh-in because I didn't have that same feeling as last week. Even though I had a really great week, I didn't... feel lighter. It's hard to explain... BUT there are 12 or so active girls depending on me to do so.. they motivate me everyday and I need to do it for the challenge, but also myself so I can start game planning for the upcoming week.

All week I've been dealing with the gas issues that come with rectifying your digestive system when you're eating right so I've felt heavy and bloated some days even though I burned more calories this week than previous ones. Either way tho, I had a really good workout yesterday and the day before AND Tuesday, so I opted to focus on the positive. As apart of the STFS Challenge, I decided to measure myself for the mid-challenge goals. And was pleased to see I'd erased several (as in more than four) inches from my body. It was a nice feat since sometimes (as I am sure we all know by now) the scale is unforgiving.

I still haven't moved from 170-ville, but I know it's coming and until the next time we meet, Scale. But know this. Every time we do, I'm coming at you with all that I have.

It's on. I am SO DONE with you.

So Amazing

2009-07-30T22:12:00.000-05:00

I am feeling so good...

Better than I have in a long time... this is it, friends! It feels great to be here again... I won't lose it ever again. You can believe that...

LET'S DO IT!

H2TC! I SEE YOU!!!!!

Show Stoppin & Goal Watchin

2009-07-28T09:15:00.003-05:00

"Week four, I'm coming for you.." she said as she walked Shaft-like out the gym like a car had exploded behind her.

If only I'd had on a leather trench coat and shades.

Show Stopping
I completed W3D5 today. And I must admit, it didn't hurt. My shin splint started to whisper, but I was actually feeling QUITE comfy during the 3-minute interval and I even ran the last two minutes of the 20, when I normally run 90 seconds as suggested and walk for the last 30 then I stretch. Today I ran the time out and then did a semi-brisk 3-minute walk of my 5 minute cool down. I spent another song length stretching... "Sexy Can I!?"

I've finished my first liter of water and had a filling breakfast. I took my Pers' advice and had a banana before my workout and an apple nearly immediately after and then ate a 100-calorie (really 110 cals) whole wheat bagel with some honey nut cream cheese. Then I logged my food. I originally made two bagels. After the first I "no longer felt hungry" but this time in traditional NON-me fashion, I didn't eat till I felt STUFFED. I felt satisfied with the one, so I put the other in a snack baggie in the fridge. I am SO proud of myself. I can have it later, in a couple hours, if I choose as my mid-morning snack. Tho, I think I will go with a peanut butter slice.

Given how this morning worked out, I think I will round off this week with Thursday and Saturday as my extended days 6 and 7 and then finally move on to week 4 on Monday. Hoo-ah!?

Week 4, in sure to — in short — will be a DOOZY.. longer runs that can last up until 5 minutes and less walk time overall. So that's gonna be new territory. I plan to stick to that week for about 2-3 weeks as well depending on how I feel. Conditioning, conditioning, conditioning, remember? I gotta do it...

Turns out my scheduled 5K in November (I was originally debating about October or even September) is the perfect time to run a 5K for me. Because, even though I'll be done with the weekly training way before then by standard week-by-week but with me spending more time on weeks I will be less likely to fail because I'm conditioned properly. And I'll still get some time to check out the 5K training program on the treadmill (so curious about what that's like) and even running outdoors (because as we all know the experiences are vastly different).

So, time to wrap up week three and move further in my journey because I felt really good this a.m. My shin splint didn't complain much at all.. so I'd venture to say the conditioning and taking my TIME is paying off and my calves and shins are getting more stronger.

I have been really upping my cardio and activity in various ways as to not get bored. Currently the bulk of my strength training is coming from boxing and push ups for the arms/upper body, and squats/lunges for lower body. My cardio has been consisting of C25K training, walking, elliptical trainer and Turbo Jam. In fact, later this evening I have a 3.8-mile evening walk.

Goal Watchin
As part of my goals I am really trying to beef up my daily activity and do it consistently for 5-6 days of the week. I want to get in at least 90 minutes of activity a day. With 30 minutes in the morning this should be an easier task than it sounds.

I'm also trying to track my food consistently and eat b/t 1200-1350 calories a day. My SP caloric range goes up to 1550 (I think) daily, but I'm never trying to eat that high. I think it's seriously putting a damper on my progress and eating more calories on my "heavier workout days" as often recommended in many books I read is doing nothing but making me heavier on those days. So I'm just gonna keep taking my vitamins and eat best for you foods of fresh produce leeeean proteins and whole grains. Try to stay away from the packaged stuff etc. and see where that puts me in a month.

As apart of one of the challenges I'm in it's time to measure soon, so it will be VERY interesting to see what I've done and what I NEED to do to get it done if I haven't done enough. Seen?

Off to clean the house... speak soon. I hope you're grabbing like by the horns and enjoying an active ride.

Pictured:
1. Check out the intervals in Weeks 4 and 5
2. My free T-shirt from my Y for completing 15 workouts... 1 mo to go!

Just Bumpin My Music!

2009-07-23T08:19:00.005-05:00

I adore my new iPod.

It was the best gift a man, co-parent and friend could give me for being a great mother, friend, lover of his seed for Mother's Day. It enhances my workouts and, if I do say so myself, my music choices rock. I heart my play list "Working it OFF in 2009." It's funny cause I add the songs I want there, but every time I work out I shuffle the music so it surprises me... and that it does.

My workout went off without a hitch with "Gadget Flow" by Lupe Fiasco... an upbeat hip hop track about being from "a city in the Midwest, best city in the whole wide-wide world, hey!" Just as I was finished with my first three-minute run interval, feeling good about it, Mavis Staples told me, "let's do it again!"

In the middle of my third set of my squats/lunges regimen, Teedra Moses kept my mind on my booty by reminding me that "it's something in yo backstroke, that keeps me into youuuu..."

Then when I thought to pass on the 30-mins of elliptical, Eightball & MJG told me I "don't want DRAMAAA!" So I got on that bad boy and made it "do what it's sposeta do" (Ice Cube).

Then when I was done stretching and headed out the door feeling good about myself, locs all sweated out like a championship round of sex, Kem told me to let my love (of working out) set me free... "let it set you freee..." and I did.

ahhhhhhh *sigh of complacency*

It was so nice....... but ummmmmm, yeah, that was Monday... TODAY'S workout kicked my ass! lol

But I'll be back out there tomorrow... thank you and a big "muah!" to my iPod for keeping me engulfed no matter my workout mood. Cause even in the midst of a torturous one today, Kanye let me know that I'm still "so amazing!"

Relax and Take Note...

2009-07-19T17:08:00.002-05:00

With everything finally starting to get moving in the health and wellness category of my life, but some bumps in the road poppin up, I thought now would be a good time to regroup and reanalyze my workout and how I am going to conquer the next 25-30 pounds without hurting anything or inefficiently.

Mo Runnin, Mo Problems
So, I started to get a bit discouraged with my run routine because of the shin splint recurrence. I haven't quit the C25K training, but I haven't been on the treadmill since Wednesday morning. I felt like I needed to slow down. My competitive nature had me wanting to attack each week like GRR! but the fact remains that I DO have shin splints and I DO have the wrong shoes and I do not have time for an injury that leaves me incapacitated. SO I have to slow down. In two ways. Firstly, I have to slow down my speed (I'm currently running at 4.8-5.0 and walking at 2.8-3.0). Secondly, I have to master a week first before moving on to the next. It's called condition training. Athletes do it all the time. I have to condition my body and that shin splint to the work I am putting in, before I can ask it to do more than that... or I am setting myself up for painful failure. So, on week three I will stay until I feel more comfortable to move on. In fact, I may stay on week 3 until I get the new shoes I absolutely need. Then try to move on to week four run intervals in the proper shoes and try those out on my shin splint since Fleet Feet has a 21-day return policy.

Beefing up Le Cardio
So I had been running and not much else for cardio with an occasional Turbo Jam here and there. I've decided, I really have to ramp up my activity on the cardio side for now and focus on more strength training after I break the 160 barrier. At 155 in 2006, I was still a little flabby in the back area. So at 160 I will start beefing up my strength training, but for now, I am going to take that down a notch, because strength training makes me hungrier because of the calories I'm burning, but I don't actually know what my caloric intake should be on those days and I feel I am still to early in the weight loss process to try and gamble. I want calorie restriction, muscle conditioning and THEN I'll work on getting stronger. For now, I just need to keep my muscles present (don't wanna lose em or weaken them with so much cardio and NO strength training) with endurance lifting. So I will do my C25K three times a week (75 minutes) and elliptical (150 minutes) and Turbo Jam 2 times a week (100 minutes) for a total of 325 minutes a week. Turbo Sculpt for strength, Thin Thighs for lower body for FOUR weeks.. and then reevaluate on Monday August 17...

Chocolate City Dreamin
My goal is to break the 160 barrier before exiting the month of July (three pounds in two weeks). But also I am trying to lose about 5 more to be at 165 by the time I tentatively travel to DC for some work I am negotiating and trying to line up. I will run into some old faces from my 150-lb days, so it's mighty important to stick to the plan so I don't arrive too much over weight. lol

Serenity is nigh
So, I have found the final piece (chaise lounge loveseat) to add to my Serenity Room. A room I am creating in the upper level of my home where I can pray, meditate, watch girly movies, have a cocktail, sing... well, you get the point. Somewhere where the boys aren't allowed, unless I say so. Think of it as my Claire Room from the Cosby Show! I will definitely post some before and after pics of the small renovation. Also, the measurements have been taken for the closet. The upstairs is gonna be niiiii. I pick up the chaise toma. :-)

Back to the grill again in the a.m. I enjoyed my rest days and am excited to get that cardio counter UP.

9 Appetite-Suppressing Foods to Conquer Your Cravings

2009-07-14T15:40:00.001-05:00

By Whitney Provost
Source: www.beachbody.com

If you're like most people, conquering your appetite is one of the biggest challenges you face in your fitness and weight loss journey. As soon as the word "diet" crosses your lips, you may start craving all the junk you know you're not supposed to eat. The secret is eating the RIGHT foods to help calm the cravings for the wrong ones. Add these 9 easy-to-find, tasty foods to your meal plan, and rein in your appetite before it gets out of control!

Oatmeal. This hot cereal is high in fiber and low on the glycemic index, which means it fills you up and takes a long time to digest. Research has shown that diets high in slow-burning carbohydrates like oatmeal suppress the hunger hormone grehlin more effectively than diets high in fat. In fact, when you eat oatmeal for breakfast, you may find that your appetite is lower at lunchtime. Steel-cut or rolled oats are digested more slowly than the "instant" variety, so it's worth taking a few extra minutes in the morning to prepare your breakfast the old-fashioned way.
Apples. Not only are apples nutritious, but what sets them apart from other fruits is pectin, a soluble fiber that helps regulate blood sugar, keeps you full, and sustains your energy. One medium apple with skin contains 4 grams of fiber, which is more than you'd get in an average slice of whole wheat bread. Add an apple and some cinnamon to your morning oatmeal for an appetite-suppressing breakfast.
Pine nuts. These edible pine-tree seeds contain more protein than any other nut or seed, and their oil stimulates two appetite-suppressing hormones (cholecystokinin [CKK] and glucagon-like peptide-1) that tell your brain you're not hungry. Blend pine nuts with basil, garlic, and a little olive oil to make pesto, or sprinkle them on your salad or oatmeal for a delicious, nutty crunch.
Salad. The fiber in typical salad vegetables like lettuce, cabbage, spinach, celery, cucumbers, broccoli, and peppers is very filling and helps slow the release of glucose into your bloodstream. Studies have shown that when people start a meal with a small salad, they eat significantly fewer calories in the meal itself. Just watch out for the high-fat dressings (or worse, fat-free dressings that are high in sugar). Try having the dressing on the side and dipping your fork into it for easy portion control, or simply add a dash of balsamic vinegar or a squeeze of lemon juice for a tasty, super-low-calorie option. Bonus tip: Try to eat a vegetable at every meal to keep your appetite at bay all day long.
Olive oil and other unsaturated fats. Researchers at the University of California at Irvine found that unsaturated fat causes the intestines to release a compound (oleoylethanolamide) that has been shown to reduce appetite and stimulate weight loss. Some great choices for unsaturated fat include avocados, olives and olive oil, almonds, salmon, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, macadamia nuts, and sesame seeds. These foods are high in calories, so enjoy them in moderation while regulating your appetite.
Flax seeds. Flax is one of the best plant sources of omega-3 fatty acids. The seeds are also very high in protein and fiber, making them excellent for appetite control. Sprinkle ground flax seeds over oatmeal, salads, or yogurt, or add them to smoothies to help stabilize your blood sugar and turn off the hunger hormones.
Beans. The fiber in beans increases CCK, a digestive hormone that's a natural appetite suppressant. A research study at the University of California at Davis found that men who ate a high-fiber meal containing beans had CCK levels that were two times higher than when they ate a low-fiber meal. Beans also keep your blood sugar steady, which helps stave off hunger.
Whey protein. New studies suggest that whey protein stimulates the hormones that increase the feeling of being full. In one study, researchers at the University of Surrey in England found that people who consumed whey protein felt fuller and more satisfied with less food. Whey also stabilizes blood sugar, and that can help control food urges. Make a drink with Whey Protein Powder to calm your appetite any time of the day.
Spicy foods. Capsaicin, the ingredient that gives peppers their heat, can also help control your raging appetite. A recent study published in Clinical Nutrition suggests that capsaicin-rich foods may help you eat fewer calories and support weight loss by suppressing your appetite and making you feel fuller. You can add hot pepper sauce to tomato juice, stir-fry peppers with other vegetables, or throw some peppers and salsa in an omelette. Other spicy ingredients may have similar effects, so try adding hot mustard and curry spices to your salads and meats.

"I got the pepper!"

2009-07-10T06:56:00.007-05:00

OK, so even tho Shila started whining at around 11 minutes, I am smiling about my morning run to complete W2D3 of C25K Training. For those of you who have had the unfortunate pleasure of hearing me complain during Week 2, you know I got very frustrated that my new shoes didn't take care of an irritated shin splint that started getting louder as I increased my run intervals...

But I am proud to say that I could not have planned my run better this morning. Shila was patient with me, the TV in front of the treadmill was playin a symbolic message and my iPod playlist was "jammin on the one!" Allow me to explain:

OK, so a little back story, after Wednesday's dreadfulness, I started stretching and stretching hard, yesterday I was scared to do any form of anything worried about how it would affect my run today... but alas, thanks to a challenge via Spark People, I did my last chance workout and got in my Burn Circuit 3 Strength Training session and a 20-minute Turbo Jam aerobics session before bed.

I stretched some more afterwards and then took a hot bath where I stretched some more... and my bath, was simply awesome. HOT water, Rosemary drops, eucalyptus bubbles, Epsom salts and lil ol sore me. It was soooo nice. I am not really a bath person, but I am definitely squeezing in one of these as part of my weekly routine which by the way is tweaking a little bit to incorporate my run.. and changing my off day(s) a little bit. I'll talk about this later... back to how great my run was.

The title of this blog (for non-Cosby Show junkies) comes from one of my favorite episodes where Cliff (Bill Cosby) is asked to run in a 4 X 400 relay as a special race between his alma mater and their old rival! And his coach, to ask him how he was feeling, would ask him if he got the pepper! Meaning, (in non-Cosby like speak) "are you ready to kick this race's ass?!" OK, so not very exciting if you've never run track, but for me it was a nice little sign that the run might not be as bad as I anticipated it... cause, I can't front, I went in today a little confident, but also a little scared. But after that, "I got the pepper!"

Secondly, the first song to kick off my 5-minute brisk walk was "More" by Rhymefest.
No matter how much I get (I want more)
Even when I talk my shit (I want more)
Every party on every list
And everybody want a life like this
But still (I want more)
Which helped cause I do expect more out of myself now that I am getting older. I really am going to kick this fit thing in the butt... for good! Every song after that was great too... I compiled the playlist (143 songs total) and shuffle it every run morning, but sometimes a song I love comes on at the wrong moment of my run and I have to switch. I didn't have to switch once today... yah!!

Third and lastly, today, I am going to Fleet Feet off a recommendation from my Pers (Sorority Sister) about how they examine your run and stride and tell you what kind of shoes you need based on your assessment. In gist, they really analyze everything about your run from your feet to your stride to determine how to make your run experience the most comfortable. Since we are in a recession, I simply can't afford to toss the $75 shoes I just bought and get new ones, so hopefully a simple insert will help much. Monday begins Week 3 and I won't enjoy 3-minute jog intervals if Shila's ass is nagging me the whole time. So hopefully this consultation will garner some great realizations... because I WILL RUN my first 5K this fall. You just better damn believe it!

So the weekend is generally a time for resting for me, but with the new schedule Sundays will be my first day of the week for strength. This particular weekend will be more intense because in the morning I am going on a 7.7-mile hike in Busse Woods (when Saturday is usually my rest day) with some Walking Group friends of mine. So, I will need to stretch and act right because Monday is back to the tread again.

So, new schedule will be as follows:

Sunday: Burn Circuit 1, stretching
Monday: C25K Training, stretching
Tuesday: Burn Circuit 2, stretching
Wednesday:
• C25K Training
• Burn Intervals
• Ab Burner
• Stretching
•Special Bath

Thursday: Burn Circuit 3, stretching
*Friday:
• C25K Training
• Burn It Off (Cardio)
• Recharge (Intense Yoga-like stretching)

Time for breakfast... *still smiling*

* Because Friday is so intense, I will classify this as my last chance workout... I will now weigh myself once a week for official numbers early Saturday mornings.

Shila, The Shin Splint

2009-07-08T09:46:00.007-05:00

"What if I'm never able to run a 5K?"
~Defeatist to Support System while icing an agitated shin splint

I should have known the minute I was in my good sleep, drooling, happy dreaming and The Sun headbutted me at 4:40-something this morning that it was going to be a peculiar morning workout. He didn't go back to sleep right away or relatively quickly. First wave alarm (5:20 a.m.) came and went. Second wave (5:30 a.m.) came and went with my sun looking at me wide eyed and rubbing the area he bruised... guess he saw irritation in my face. We lay there quietly... last chance wave (5:40 a.m.) silenced... I tried to will him to sleep but he was just too strong. Finally we both dozed off at some point. I woke up at 8 a.m. to him snuggled up under my arm. *sigh*

Not to be outdone, I got up and got ready anyway.. after all if I am going to run the 5K this fall, I have to stay on schedule. So since beginning training I been feeling really great. Each day was cool... slightly challenging in the calorie-burnin department... I felt I was really making some progress. I resumed Chalene Extreme this week and Burn Circuit 2 was yesterday and I woke up with tight hammy's... little did I know that was the least of my problems.

I got new shoes Monday and was so looking forward to using them on the second day/run of week 2 (W2D2) because that damn Shila was irritating me and I figured it was because I needed new shows... well I put those sexy light puppies on today and my Shila's ass started screaming again. She gets on my nerves. She and I have been kicking it since 1996 when I overtrained for regionals (track and field) and we been hanging tough every time I up the amount of my vigorous workout. She is the reason I've steered clear of running. She just doesn't like me to do it. But I've read conflicting articles that there is really no cure for this strain and you just kinda have to care for it and hope for the best... what's a girl to do?!

I did finish my run, but I felt like sh*t afterwards. Not because Shila was still screaming, she calmed down once I was off, but because I don't want this damn runner's injury to haunt me for the rest of my damn life. (You know I'm mad cause I said "damn" twice!) I want to RUN a 5K. I know I was a sprinter, but man... I'm old and I want to do some aerobic activities like long runs. I already know I can do anaerobic ones (quick sprint-like activities i.e., 100-yard dash, shot put, etc.). Further... I should be able to run.

I also think it might be my stride. Again, I haven't really ran in ever and I am trying to figure out HOW to run... I mean, my Wii Fit will rudely tell me that my balance is quite awkward and I don't walk evenly... but not sure how to fix these kindsa things besides doing what I'm doing. Core exercises, strengthening all my muscles etc. W2D2 only requires me to run for 90 second intervals... wtf am I supposed to do when it wants me to run for two minutes, three minutes... hell, 25 minutes?! I'm just feeling like I'll never get this done... and it's bugging me something fierce. I am hoping I left it all on the treadmill and just gonna do some serious stretching b/t now and Friday morning... let us not forget, I have Burn Intervals cardio to do today and Burn Circuit 3 tomorrow for Chalene Extreme.

One thing is for sure, I'm GOING to run a 5K. And I'm gonna keep running them... so I have to figure out some good preventative measures because I just ~~can't afford to~~ will not fail.

"Calm down, SHILA!!"

"Independence"

2009-07-04T12:57:00.004-05:00

"Girl I didn't know you could get down like that"
~ "Independent Ladies" Destiny's Child

So as I rub on my flat(ter) full stomach sitting on my couch watching old school cartoons on Boomerang... I must admit, I feel great. I just had my breakfast (egg white omelette with fresh spinach, minced garlic and topped with soy cheese, 1/2-cup brown rice and a cup of sliced strawberries), I'm sippin on my liter of water, and just feeling... great. On this Independence Day, I am inspired -- with all it's great meaning -- to celebrate my own independence from the lifestyle that once had me so shackled I thought it was normal. I stare at the picture of me that I found from 1996... looking back at me was this fit, happy teenager with a body to d-i-e for. She loved to workout, her shoulders were fabulous and her gluteus maximus was propped up like it was holstered by buff boys... oooh wee! lol I was prolly a good 125 lbs on that picture and a size 7/8. (I told ya'll I've always been a muscular, stocky lil something... that weight on my height is usually like a size 4... but anywho..)

I will never have that exact body again, besides having five more body arts, more stretch marks and cellulite, my body has morphed some by gaining different muscles in places I didn't have them before (I didn't do a lot of strength exercise then, just cardio with all the basketball and track and field practice). SO when I emerge a new 13-year older butterfly my body will be different, but maybe -- just maybe -- even better. I'll have filled out some and be muscular vs just thin.

Last night I went out with my sisters to a comedy show and didn't drink. I'd mentioned to my homegirl that I was not going to drink until I hit goal. I realize this is a difficult task to accomplish, so I modified it a bit to drink in moderation. Afterall, if I am ever going to prove I can maintain my weight, I will need to show myself that I can act right when tempted.. drinks, fatty foods, I will need to be able to control myself in these situations. So it made me feel truly ecstatic that I was out with my girls with everything feeling like normal but for this evening I decided NOT to partake. They all were looking at me a lil sideways because it's unnatural for me not to imbibe, lol, but they will have to get used to the new healthier choices me. Sometimes she will drink and IF she does, it will be an alcohol with a low-to-no calorie mixer (i.e., seltzer) or a glass of wine ... something I can account for. So, I will moderate my alcoholic consumption when I choose to drink, which won't be often, but I will not drink any juice or pops. I will stick to crystal light and water. If I choose to have whiskey (which I do often) I will drink it straight... no Coke and only in moderation. This is more feasible than trying to set myself up to fail. Yanno?

Anywho, I am feeling absolutely great today and I just wanted to share with you... what are you independent from today?

Time for Some Answers!

2009-07-03T11:38:00.003-05:00

These are questions asked of me in one of my Spark challenges... and they really made me contemplate. Doing so gives perspective to how I am going to address my health and wellness in the future... and I want to share them with you.

1.Why am I overweight?
I am overweight... because I didn't keep my consistency when my life changed. I came to Chicago fit(ter) and well. I was 154 lbs and even though statistically I had some weight to lose, I felt great in my clothes (most days) and I was strong and lean(er). I immediately found a gym that I loved and was working out on a consistent basis. In March of 2006, I reunited with my first love. Happy, joyous occasion but one that came with a different life than the one I was used to. We soon moved in together (my first and only cohabitation with a partner) and there were fun nights of boxing and football and lovemaking, there were cocktails and nights on the town, eating out at restaurants and before we both knew it, we were toppling the scales over. In September of 2006, we were blessed to conceive a child. By then, I was approximately 175 pounds (my current weight). I gained 22 pounds with my pregnancy, lost it immediately thanks to breast feeding and have just been stagnant since due to laze and inactivity.

2.Why do I want to lose weight?
I want to lose weight because I am an athlete. Her body is hidden, but my strength and drive and competitive nature and love of physical fitness and activity are still very much abundant and important to me. I want to prove to myself that I can be my own AFTER. I want to show and prove to self that the dual (track and basketball) athlete still lives inside of me. I want to lose weight because I have aerobics classes to resume teaching. I have a personal training certificate to obtain. I have a sun to raise and be around for his games, recitals, accomplishments. I want to feel like myself again AND live the life I love with my family. I want it to look just like it does now, but with me in smaller pants, consistently making better food choices and having an active, lovely, healthy lifestyle.

3.Why haven't I maintained weight loss before?
I cancelled my gym membership when the fee increased, didn't find an alternative like I SAID I would, ate whatever I wanted, and drank whatever I wanted to drink and thought I was happy doing so. But I'd lost myself there. It's only by the grace of God, I've not gained more weight but "maintained" this (over)weight. I know my health had a lot to do with it too... I have (thank the Lord) always been the picture of health, no heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, nothing... and I figured, well hey, I'm healthy, I'm still cute... what's the problem? But I want my real body back. And now that I know what NOT to do, the sky is my limit..

Thanks Hot 2 Trot girls... our Leader ANEWAMANDA has really done a great job rounding us up... I can't wait to see how we all emerge from this challenge with all the hard work we're putting in.

H2T!! H2T!! H2T!! H2T!! :)

I got off the couch...

2009-07-02T07:09:00.004-05:00

to train for my first competitive 5K.

So, as you know, I've power walked 5Ks before in just under an hour but have always shied away from actually running one. OK, you probably actually did NOT know that... but now you do.

SO last night, while sitting around I decided to get off my couch and once again go to the site to learn how to train for a 5K when you've not run before or haven't run in a long time. And this morning, I rolled out of bed at about 5:15 a.m. CST and was at the gym and on the treadmill to start my Couch to 5K training.

I'd love to say that I just heard about this site, went to it yesterday and then this morning got up and did it, but the first time I actually looked at it and even started it was in 2005. I think I went through my first week, but at the time I wasn't big on treadmills and tried to start outside... well that got old real quick cause I didn't know how to pace myself (I am a competitive athlete still in my brain not realizing sometimes that my body is not on the same page!).

So this morning, I got up and did my "brisk 5-minute walk" to warm up at a 3.2 speed. And then started my interval training of 60 minutes running (4.2-5.0), 90 minutes walking (3.2). I definitely need to get new running shoes, which I'll do a little later today. I also have to stop by GNC to get more vitamins and by Whole Foods to pick up already seasoned firm tofu for my salads. (Oh yeah, I've also -- now that I have mastered the art of cooking brown rice -- decided to give the Fat Smash another try... like for real this time. The first time(s) I tried it, I wasn't eating beans, brown rice, oatmeal, egg whites... it was just a recipe for failure period because I just wasn't eating the filling foods that were acceptable and after eating bland salad after raw veggie/fruit, even the most disciplined will get hungry, angry and rebel... in that order. But I digress.)

After my thrilling 3-lb loss yesterday, I am definitely trying to keep that momentum, but at the same time I know that I can do a whole lot better at tracking my calories (thanks to Spark People) so I can smash fat while still making sure I eat enough foods throughout the days. That will definitely cut down on the hungry anger mentioned earlier. Because surely before I would eat a banana as a snack and then not eat again until it was already too late. But now I know how many calories are in a banana and know I can pair it with something else that will get the job done... or hell, have two bananas... you get my drift.

One thing at a time... back to the the 5K Training...

So this morning's run, while eventually started to tingle my glutes and thigh (around minute 13 on the count down) didn't really exhaust me the way I thought it might.. so next run, in my new shoes, I'm gonna ramp up my speed some. Because my MHR was 124 hardly enough to really get the blood pumping. And I broke into a very little sweat and only at the end. To offer some sort of gauge, I sweat harder during my 11 minute elliptical workout afterwards to thank my knees than I did during my 25 minutes on the tread... so gonna see if I can push myself. In 20 minutes I covered 1.46 miles though, so that's pretty sexy. I realize running outside is a much different ballgame, so the plan is to find my stride so that by the time I am running for extended periods of time (week 7) I can take it to the street (thanks Spark run maps!) to test it out and see how I do on the ground, wind in my back... or more than likely -- in Chicago -- wind in my face!

So yeah, feeling pretty good. Just gonna detox for these first nine days and really get my eating habits in check over the summer so that by winter when most people wanna ball up in the house and hibernate on junk food, I'm still hitting the gym and eating like I have some sense. I want to emerge in the spring that same healthy, fit butterfly, not wrapped back up in this cocoon of a weak shell.

I need one of those fancy stop watch, heart rate monitors for Christmas/My Birthday... any takers? :) What? I'm getting my request in early! Ooh and a Vita-Mix! hahaha...

Have a great day, Blogsphere. Time for me to get some real breakfast in my belly: scrambled egg whites, milk and cantaloupe.

Lucky Number Month 7

2009-07-01T17:39:00.005-05:00

Well... it certainly is difficult trying 2 do it all & be a great mom too! But I'm doing it!! :)

After joining the Y, I have really been concentrating and making low-cal recipes. I been making large meals that last, quick meals that fill us up and making love to my Crockpot so that I always have a healthy lunch/dinna & stay away from takeout.

I been substituting fat free milk (and hell, getting a milk serving period) for 2%, eating more egg whites than yolk, counting calories (admittedly need to fine tune this) and trying best to stay away from restaurant food, though we MAY have a restaurant meal here and there. I am eating smaller portions (and getting full on them) and getting my exercise on usually in the A.M.

The Chicago Y's have a really nice summer special that I had to take part in, and if I don't get to the gym in the a.m. to hit up the elliptical and treadmill real quick, I try to make it up with an afternoon workout or something at home for a total of 5 workouts a week and 3 strength training.

I am also finding exercise in other things I do (laundry, bike riding, outdoor walks and hikes, house cleaning etc) cause man, climbin stairs from the laundry room with 4 lb. weighted gloves & 4lbs attached to each ankle is real and it's deep! As ya'll know, I really jus got started again (4 real) at the beginning of June; I am proud to announce I'm down 5 lbs.:) New tattoo I'ma comin! (See previous goals post for details).

I hope U all r doin the damn thang as well!

I've attached a couple pics of my meals I've made:

Pork and Apple Stir fry:
This had so many yummy vegetables in it.
It was so pretty! And tasty.

Herbed Turkey Stuffed Bell Peppers:

A one stop meal of protein, starch (rice),
and veggies.

Slender, Sexier, SO-healthy Sanni 2009 and Beyond

2009-06-25T23:43:00.004-05:00

"To feel 'fit as a fiddle', you must tone down your middle."

~ Unknown

So after finally a month of being more consistent on Spark People for good.. I can say I am finally in a groove. And thought it was time to detail my goals so I know specifically what it is I am going to accomplish over the next 6.5 months (till my 30th birthday).

A little background...

I was a dual athlete all four years of high school and for my freshman year of undergrad. While working full time and in school for my master's at 24, I started reclaiming my athletic body by going to workout faithfully, everyday on my lunch break for an hour. In doing so I trimmed off near 50 pounds I'd packed on during my stagnant years. I also went on to get certified in group fitness.

I moved back home to Chicago for a job opp in 2006, fell in love, got with my partner, got comfortable, gained weight, had a baby in 2007, let my certs lapse and here I am. lol While, I haven't gained all my previous weight back, I am certainly not my previous weight and I aim to get back to that and better.

I love my body/frame because I wear my weight extremely well. People rarely know that I weigh as much as I do, unless I tell them. I know I have a lot of hidden stallion-like muscles under this thickness. I will bring em out, and KEEP em out, before 2009 comes to a close to enter my 30s with no extra weight upon my heart and soul.

There are a total of 28 weeks and 5 days to the day of my born day and exactly 29 weeks to my anticipated weekend celebration. My goal is to be met and maintained by my bday tho. If I consistently lose a simple pound or two a week, I'll be at my goal weight. Sounds simple enough right? lol It's gonna take mad determination, calculated movements and strict by-the book seriousness. I am ready. I haven't felt this ready since 2004 when I got tired climbin up to my 3rd floor apartment and knew a change needed to come and quick. Luckily, I am not as in bad of shape as I was then... so failure this time is not an option.

Goal weight: 138-140... I would like to be 140 pounds or lower. Until further notice. I was 125-130 in high school, so I think 140 is a good, realistic weight to shoot for (in 2006 before I started gaining I was 10 pounds heavier). After accessing my physical appearance and how I feel, IF I want to get back to my high school weight when I get there, I'll work on skimming away those last 10. But we'll see. I wanna keep my assets if you kno what I mean. I was also a B cup in high school and nobody wants that. lol And by nobody, I mean me.

The Program:
Eat five to six small meals a day, drink more than eight glasses of water and workout 5 days a week.

8+ glasses of water a day
5+ servings of veggies/fruits a day
5 days of at least 45 minutes of cardio
3 days of strength training
Track caloric intake and don't go over it; try best to get all the nutrients I need
Have a healthy breakfast of SOME sort, every morning
Award myself to the goals
Surround myself with positive people who know my struggle and support me

Basic Goals

1. Weigh less than 140 pounds
2. Get body fat to 20-22%
3. Get Fitness Certifications
4. Start personal training and fitness instruction business

My 2009 G&R (goals and rewards):

Goal: Weight 165 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: Get thigh tattoo sleeve expanded..

Goal: Weight 150 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: Mini shopping spree

Goal: Weight 140 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: A trip to an exotic place I've never been

Goal: Body fat 25% *~* Achieved: ???
Reward: New workout gear (bras, shoes, shorts, yoga pants etc.)

Goal: Size 10 Pants *~* Achieved: ???
Reward: ACE Certification

Goal: First 5K Competitive Race *~* Completed: ???
Reward: Small weekend getaway

Please check out my fitness/health blog where I talk about my struggles, share articles and eventually client consultations:
http://glamourousglutesgamsandguns.blosp
ot.com

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it."
~ Plato

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it."

~ Plato

Analyze. Strategize: The Intro.

2009-06-19T23:22:00.003-05:00

I found my fit girl "crush"... a 35-year-old single mother of two in St. Louis who lost like 50 lbs., got certified as an ACE personal trainer, is now a fitness writer and currently training to be a fitness model. At 35, she changed the game and took on a new job totally unrelated to her two degrees. In the midst of all the adversity she faces, she ventured out.. it inspires me and makes me ashamed. Ashamed that I am SUCH a procrastinator. When the eff did I get sooo stagnant? So lazy? SO careless. I was in my iPhoto just staring at pics of how this...*pinches self* came to be. And then I sat my period-laden butt up all week eating everything under the sun... real rude like. It's like I know what I want and continue to ruin and/or delay my destiny
...

WHY?!

So now I'm reflecting.

The other day I was lookin at myself in the mirror impressed with progress. I swore I saw a shrinking waistline... and then I sabotaged myself. I must, must, must do better. I am currently developing a new strategy in my plan of attack.

10 More Tips for Your Wellness Journey

2009-06-16T19:47:00.003-05:00

Easy Ways to Get Healthy

-- By Carrie Myers Smith, Health & Fitness Writer

Looking for more ways to become a healthier you? Here are 10 great ideas you can use any day, every day.

1. Drink a glass of water. Water is an essential nutrient for life. But beyond that, you just plain feel better when you’re well-hydrated. More energy, brighter eyes, healthy skin and a decreased chance of headaches are just a few of the benefits you’ll glean from drinking up!

2. Go for a walk. There’s nothing like a nice, brisk walk to relieve stress, give you a boost of energy and get the brain cells working again!

3. Call a friend. Do you have a friend who you know is going through some tough times? Why not zip off a quick note or give her a call and offer encouragement to her. She won’t be the only one who feels better!

4. Journal. Keeping a diary or journal has been shown to be a stress reliever. Seeing a quandary on paper can also help you uncover concrete solutions to it. Take a moment to write down a problem you’ve been encountering and get ready to resolve it!

5. Soak your feet. Your feet literally carry you throughout your day. Do something kind for them. Kick your shoes off and give them a good rub down. If you can, take a few minutes to soak them. Cover the bottom of a basin with marbles, fill the basin with warm water and sprinkle in some Epsom salts and a few drops of your favorite essential oil. While soaking, glide your feet over the marbles for a mini-massage. After you’ve soaked your feet, slather on a rich re-hydrating cream.

6. Send a thank you note. Has someone done something nice for you and you have yet to really thank her? No time like the present! Send a nice thank you note now!

7. Eat a snack. If you find your energy waning between meals, eat a small, healthy snack to boost your brain back into action. Combining a whole grain, fruit, or vegetable with a protein: nuts, nut butters, low-fat dairy products, seeds, soy products, lean meats, fish, or poultry will give you a sustained energy boost to get you to your next meal.

8. Chew a stick of sugar-free gum. There’s nothing like a clean, fresh mouth to make you feel refreshed all over. But when you can’t get to your toothbrush and floss, chew on a piece of sugar-free gum instead to give your mouth and body an invigorating zing.

9. Organize your space. Whether it’s at the office or at home, clutter can make you feel sick – literally. Get rid of what you don’t need and organize what’s left. Take a few minutes right now to clean up your space.

10. Take "five." Allowing your body to run on a constant adrenaline rush, which happens when you’re in continual stressed-out mode, wreaks havoc on the body. Take several breaks throughout your day to simply breathe, pray, or whatever it takes to bring your body down to neutral.

Source

Remember The Goals

2009-06-12T19:45:00.004-05:00

I spoke to someone who actually successfully completed the ChaLEAN Extreme program and she told me that she lost 12 pounds over the 3 months and a few inches... that is awesome in the sense that it's 12 pounds she didn't have on her frame three months prior. Perhaps I am an overachiever or just seriously misunderstanding what the program is supposed to do. OR it has me thinking it will do something it simply won't. However, instead of trying to figure out which, I have to figure out what I can do to maximize my results. In a perfect world, I would lose two pounds a week over the 12 and end with at least 24 lbs AND several inches. But in order to achieve anything close to that, I'm going to have to utilize those recipes she shares in the food guide, cut my calories down to 1400 (I was previously at 1550 max). I have to utilize those calories better by eating more less calorie/fulfilling foods.

Gotta remember my goals. And figure out the best way to execute to make this work for me. The words "results not typical" keep flashing in my mind... I want my results to be untypical as well dammit!

Now during my day, I wear my little "I Play For Keeps!" bracelet to remind me to make best decisions all day long to be regret-free come workout time.

While I am doing the workouts (almost done with my first full-week ~ yay!) I know now I must add some more to my plan. Cardio. The circuits get my heart rate up. Which is great... and "muscle burns fat" but I need to be doing some cardio too, I feel. And there's only one workout in the week that incorporates some actual cardio into the workout (Burn Intervals). But at the same time, the workout itself is enough house activity, so I have to figure out something to do. I want to incorporate bike rides three times a week... but that's gonna need the weather to cooperate. It's been a rainy Chi-Town lately. But perhaps I can plan for bike rides and walks and Turbo Jam can be my "rain site." :-)

And I just have to push myself.

Currently, when my lifting is getting too tough, I chant little things like, "push..." or "I can do it..." "Sweat breeds athletes..." Perhaps a little lame to some.... but a big motivator to me.

This has been a long-awaited fight that I have postponed for nearing three years... it's bitter for me to even be here again... BUT I am here. I can either deal with it now or never address it and deal with the affects of it later. I choose to fight now... while I still have the energy, drive, motivation and great health to attack it. Furthermore, I want to keep all those traits. I don't want any of them to deteriorate.

So, it's these verbal cues and different visuals that are gonna help me through this. Around my house, specifically at my desk in my study where I sit often and perhaps decide not to get up to workout... near my sun's sweets section of the cupboard and on the fridge to name a few... I place little index cards with drawn statements like:

I want to get stronger!
I want to be a lean machine!
I want to have more energy!
I want to feel/look like myself again!
I want to LIVE and be healthy for sun!
I WILL reach my goal!

That Terrible Feeling
Every time I eat some fast food or something not particularly good for me that's not included in my meal plan... I feel disgusting and disappointed with myself afterward. I mean, literally. It goes too quickly. It's (sorta) tasty going down, but not filling at all. But it's quick, easy and gets the job done for the moment. But oh when it's done... I just feel so guilty. Like a person with a conscience who cheats on her partner and afterwards gets those bad feelings like, "that was a mistake.... I should not have done that." That feeling (and my finances ~ not a lot of overhead to be wasting money on an unfulfilling meal) has been stopping me from going into a fast food restaurant or drive-thru. It's these little victories that let me know I just might be back. No, scratch that... that I am back.

Are you hurt or are you injured?

~ Coach "The Program"

I loves me some residual pain.

I know that when it's happening, my muscles are woooorking.

It's not that injury, "oh my word, that HURTS!" pain but, "oohhhhh yeah, that hurts sooo good!" :)

It's nice to be back... so long as I keep remembering the goals and visualizing myself successful.

I will be an athlete again!

Tomorrow morning I am biking to Washington Park (as promised) while my sun gets his haircut and goes shopping for his birthday stuff with Daddy.

OH and thanks for being here to hear me journal about these trials... just think soon it will be about my client meetings and classes! :)

"I get it in!"

"If Your Core Is Weak, Nothing Else Can Be Strong"

2009-06-11T11:21:00.006-05:00

The Core is the center... make no mistake my friend, if your core is weak -- you are weak! I don't care how long you have been riding a bike, how lean you are, how fast you are or how quick you can climb. Your core strength and durability is the lifeblood of ongoing cycling strength and performance. ~http://www.cyclo-club.com/public/department163.cfm

So here I am at the third workout day of my five-workout day plan... the day calls for two workouts: Burn Intervals and Ab Burner. The problem I ran into when I first started the program, I was so exhausted that I would not do Ab Burner. But today, I did the intervals, ate some breakfast, rested, later ate lunch and then did Ab Burner. It was shorter than I originally remember; only 10 measly minutes and I could only get through five of them. I was totally disgusted with myself. I've always said my core is just a disgrace. I wish I could excuse it on having a baby two years ago, but that would be a lie since it was weak before then... and I know it takes time and patience and everyone is always telling me I need to exercise (pun intended more patience. But it's hard... especially when damn near starting from scratch.

My Wii Fit even tells me in my balance tests that my posture needs work. I will be shifted to the left some days, the right other days and then some days I have PERFECT posture, but to me, I am standing awkwardly. Isn't that odd? Have you ever experienced this? A strong core helps keep your body aligned properly and is helpful in all fitness levels and activities. With optimal alignment, your fatigue is likely to hold off longer as you get stronger. Hence why it's imperative for runners and swimmers to learn/practice good form... it helps then endure through the race by keeping fatigue at bay. Have you ever seen someone running in the park with arms and legs flailing like a chicken? They look flushed and in pain and tired like they're gonna pass out? Yeah, bad posture leads to bad form... which leads to fatigue.

So even though I only got through five minutes, I'm gonna keep the faith that toward the later part of the month I can get through all 10 minutes. Because the core, is not just about abs -- thank God! My core is gonna get stronger with all the strength training that goes along with this program. Our core is actually comprised of our upper back and shoulders (aka as the head carriage) gluteals (pelvis), obliques and our abs. This workout thankfully works all of those. In my defense, Chalene does a more advanced ab session for that 10 minutes, but it would be nice to get through it. At any rate, it's over now. And tomorrow morning is a new day for the kid.

Off to take a shower and a nap... I feel pretty good... even if I am down on myself right now. So used to being fit and really good at this stuff. It just caught me off guard to not be able to finish it. I'm highly competitive. Apparently, even with myself.

Simply put, a strong core is equivalent to overall health... and I want to get there.

Have a productive, strong workout today!

My Dangerous Kitchen

2009-06-11T09:00:00.002-05:00

After a little prodding from Spark People, I decided to inspect my kitchen. I needed to clean out my fridge anyway because I had to figure out a comfortable temperature setting because it was freezing things. So I took this as a time to really examine what I had going on in my fridge, my cupboards and beyond.

And they were right, I did have a lot of hidden pitfalls in there. Sour creams, sugar-based juices etc. And then there were not so bad food, but I still bagged them up. Like non whole wheat pasta and cereals and my white rice (gasp!). Yep. I did it. I finally, finally figured out a way to make brown rice that I am comfortable with and it doesn't taste God awful to me.

"To have healthy habits and a healthier lifestyle, you first must live in a healthy environment.

This is so true. I had already jump started this by making my workout closet. An organized place where I keep all my workout/fitness equipment so that it is always accessible and right there when I need it. I needed to take the same approach with my kitchen where the "fuel" is. Because I can be gung-ho about getting in shape, eating healthy... but unless I arm myself properly, I am sure to fail. I avoided eating late last night... my will power was strong but everyday isn't that easy.

So I took stock to see what was going on in there.

Starting with the fridge, I threw away sour cream, all the spoiled fruit and veggies (obviously... shoulda been eating that!). I threw out the the ranch. Kept all my oil-based dressings though.

Start with the fridge and pantry. Focus on replacing sugary and high-calorie foods with whole grains and lower-calorie alternatives.

Spark People suggests:

Learn to read food labels
Buy a sturdy cutting board for all the fresh veggies you’ll be cutting up
Get plenty of plastic bags and containers for portioning out prepared foods and storing healthy leftovers
Collect healthy, quick recipes
Toss out all those pizza coupons
Get a few drinking bottles for keeping cold water in the fridge

Put a bowl of fruit and granola/breakfast bars by the back door

The one's in red, I'm working on...

And while we are still in the kitchen...

... learn where to spend your weight loss dollars. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, it takes more than reading a book or joining a gym. It really takes a lifestyle change of consistently picking up good habits and chucking old habits to the curb. Exchanging habits takes some time, so the smartest thing you can do is to make it easy on yourself. That means making it easy on your pocketbook too.

Here's a quick glance of what's in my kitchen.... and a couple recipes I adore... you're welcome lol

quality knife
vegetable peeler
measuring cups
scale
calorie handbook
portable containers
snack size baggies

Here's how I reorganized my fridge: (pics to come)

threw out fatty unhealthy choices
washed and placed veggies at eye level
made it convenient to eat healthy

Here are my healthy alternatives I brought in:

butter spray, squeeze and Can't Believe It's Not Butter vs. actual butter or marjarine
string cheese & individual cheese snack blocks
egg whites - quick source of protein (I bowled and froze the egg whites from actual eggs... cheaper than buying them already separated.
tuna packets (easy to just top on a bed of greens, no draining fuss)
oil based salad dressing sprays (1 calorie per spray)
tofurkey slices (found some really good vegetarian lunch meat)
fat-free yogurt, strawberries, apples
low-fat cottage cheese (still not a big fan of this stuff but much like the brown rice movement, hoping for a revelation!)
whole-grain/wheat pastas and starches

How I organized my cupboards... What's in it?

high fiber/low carb whole-wheat bread
cereal (high fiber/low cal)
oatmeal packets
put all snacks in separate snack bins (raw almonds, calorie snack packs, teas, etc)
whole wheat pasta
pre-packaged ingredients (dried cranberries, crushed almonds etc)
sugar free chocolate pudding
sugar free Jell-O
Cool Whip
whey protein powder mix

Waldorf Salad Spin-Off

1-cup green apples

1/2 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup crushed almonds

1-cup fat free yogurt

1 dash lemon juice

Sweet Treat

Sugar-free chocolate pudding

Sugar-free strawberry jello

1 Tbsp Cool Whip

1/2 cup fresh strawberries

Still Pushing Play

2009-06-10T07:31:00.008-05:00

Rest Days Gone WILD!
Tuesday was my rest day... and it started off pretty good. Well, actually it started kinda off because my initial plan was to go for a leisure bike ride to Washington Park. But the weather interceded on that plan. It also interceded with plan B: to do my light errands on foot. It wasn't the worst thing in the world since I really should have been letting my muscles calm down from Monday, especially the first week back into these very intense workouts. It really is important not to overdo it... now when I consistently get through three weeks of them, perhaps then it will be OK to do a little more activity on Tuesdays and Sundays... but yesterday, I probably should have done SOMETHING because the day somehow turned into an emotional eating day. I worried myself into a frenzy about some personal issues and before I knew it had eaten two honey buns... "Well, CZ, why do you even have honey bun's in the house?!" I don't know, dear reader... I don't know why I even bought them. *lowers head in shame*

And then around midnight I added to the mayhem... when I should have been asleep, I ate a pizza puff and fries made in the comfort of my own oven. The good news at least is that the fries are gone. And I have vowed not to buy processed, already made cut potatoes for frying again. lol But instead try sweet potato fries/chips made in the kitchen. I still have pizza puff's.. they're not as bad as you might think though: 400 calories. What I usually do, is cut it in half. Give half to the boy with pretzels or calorie pack chips and eat half for myself with a big salad full of veggies and light dressing.

So yes, yesterday was a mess. BUT, bad associations spoil useful habits. Those damn fries were badly associated with my freezer! And today is a new day...

Burn Circuit 2... kicked my butt! But this day has started off a lot more awesome than Rest Day. I woke up on my own will at 6:24 a.m. Then after about 7-10 minutes of getting my eyes to focus, I headed downstairs to get my day 2 on. And I drenched sweat for that lil 38 minutes.

I could feel every muscle working and some reps were just plain difficult to get through, but I did. Those of us who workout have all had that moment at some point. You feel so fatigued and exhausted... every weight, even your lighter sets, feel like they weigh a ton. But we can either quit or PUSH through. You always have to push through. Unless you physically feel like you are experiencing a problem: heavy chest, heart rate way too abnormally high, working out through the "pain" to push past your boundary and comfort level cause that's what's going to make us stronger. Not just physically, but mentally.

I stopped for a couple brief (10-15 second) breathers during the workout when I felt like it was too much. Serial workout enthusiasts (myself included even though I am just getting back on the scene) can sometime feel guilty about doing this but it.happens. You can do that, or you can also slow your pace (pausing in between sets for lifting). Try a new exercise... doing the same exercise over and over can really get boring. I worry about this having to do five of the same workouts, five days a week for four weeks. I will try to combat any boredom by upping the weights to keep challenging myself. That will distract me from the fact that I am doing the same routine.

Morning Workouts
My morning workout, I've learned is a great, great motivator. I get it out the way in the morning and feel determined to be great the rest of the day. Not to eat too much or poorly because it will counter effect all my good work. If you can workout in the morning I would seriously give it a try and this is coming from one of the most NON-morning people ... ever. But it beats doing whatever the hell I want all day and then trying to workout later in the day and it barely puts a dent in what I ate or drank. I feel my muscles working... feels good and I wanna keep that good feeling going!

Make sure you motivate yourself... because you are the one that has to ultimately do this for yourself. And I will need a lot of motivation. I am in the hardest stretch of my workout: four consecutive days. One (today) down. Three to go!!!

Off to have a nice bowl of cheese grits, my daily vitamin, and a 1/2 cup of skim... do your best today. Log your food, workouts. You deserve it!

cheese grits, sprinkled with chopped turkey
bacon bits, paprika and cayenne
brendan brazier strength training

Don't Wait for Life-Changing Events

2009-06-08T09:33:00.007-05:00

I always feel really silly when I (re)start a workout. Because I feel SO.GOOD when I am done. It's weird that I stopped in the first place. So today was official day one. My schedule is different than when I started the program. Now, I workout Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday doing the Chalene Extreme. Tomorrow is a rest day, but I am currently mapping out a safe route to bike in the a.m.

And now, after a healthy breakfast of Cinnamon Pecan cereal smothered in skim milk lol, I am snackin on frozen sliced strawberries. It wasn't planned for them to be frozen, but my fridge is a beast. But I actually kinda like them like this... kinda feels like a frozen treat. Might be on to something!

I did my workout at 8:30.. later than I planned to and my sun was up which made it more difficult cause he would try to crawl between my legs during my squats to be cute and problematic lol BUT I made it through it and I felt great... I'm also finally, finally using my SPARK PAGE and I'm not going to leave it unused again. It's also an app on my iPod Touch, so now there's absolutely NO EXCUSE for me not to track my stuff, get on it. What's ironic? I created my Spark Page almost a month to the day that I created this blog. Sense a pattern? So here we go... also there are several friends I actually know who are members also, so there's that accountability again. I must get it together ya'll... for me.

You know what I was thinking about yesterday? How complacent we women get in relationships. We fall into these new people who we're loving in this new euphoric state, but what I vow to do NOW, from this day forward (well I had already vowed, but now get to put it to the test) is to continue to keep/get myself together. Just because we're seeing someone doesn't mean we should stop our goals, dreams and plans. If anything, that person should make you strive harder, they should motivate you...

I did a little background on myself and everytime I've gotten fit, accomplished something it was after I'd left a significant relationship. Even when I got fit in 2005, it was after a breakup the previous fall. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In general, it's human nature to have epiphany's after major life changes/decisions... but I'm not gonna wait for something life-changing to happen before I do something to counter...

I am going to MAKE LIFE HAPPEN.

Dinner tonight...

Marinated broiled chicken breasts (low-sodium soy sauce, garlic powder and onion power) basted while broiling.

Sauteed asparagus in olive oil with red/white onion, celery, garlic and red pepper... pan sprayed with Pam olive oil

Brown rice

Sept. 10, 2007....

2009-06-04T00:01:00.008-05:00

In 6 days, it will be June 10... three months from two years ago when I started this blog. And healthwise, I have accomplished very, very little in comparison to what I was supposed to have accomplished. But I did a lot of thinking and self evaluation in April and May, and June, the start of a new season (summer) is always the best time to bring fruition to ideas and goals.

When is it time to really stop bs'ing and get in your right mind?

Life as an adult is soooo routine, so wouldn't it be smart to make it be the BEST routine for you vs. letting the day waste away without accomplishments? I vow to make the most of my routine days. Life keeps on passing us by... we have to do better.

I mean, as we get older our health (by nature) deteriorates. So it is only smart to get on the good foot and get ourselves together. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, some positive and uplifting and some not so positive (i.e., what's the point of trying to recertify myself in fitness when other people in the business my age have been consistently doing it for years or are much younger than me?) But I can't be discouraged by those kindsa thoughts... if anything I need to prove to myself that I can finally finish this task... I mean seriously, if I count my original payment plus each $25 delay fee, I have probably paid near $800 to take this damn test in all... lol funny but incredibly... sad.

I was telling a couple of my favorite homegirls that by 30, I really need to have it completely together. With a "new" relationship on the horizon, I still do all the things I was once doing as to not lose myself. I am still getting out the house. Still very active with my Meetup.com groups via community service, health and fitness, professional groups and sister circles. So when I can steal away (and I have been making time to make sure I do) I have been doing that. I get so caught up in family life sometimes, and how to maintain it for my youth, that I forget that there are sooo many things I want to do. Still... at the "old" age of 29 and some change.

There's ... something more that is supposed to be done while I am here. On this earth. Less dramatically, in Chicago. I just have to focus. I completed The Master Cleanse... the one act that calls for serious, serious focus and determination. Surely I can change the path I am on to be even MORE positive.

So I have a plan of action for the next three months: that starts today. Well, really yesterday (June 3).

• Tone up / Lose 15 lbs. And keep it off by making time to work out 5 days a week.

• Study for my exam. Take the test. Pass. :) And look for teaching jobs for the elderly, youth, water aerobics etc.

• Love more... worry less. This is easier said than done but doable still the same.

• Fix my diet. Consume more fruits and vegetables.

• Stick to the budget. With the kids going on summer break, I will be on a very tight budget but if God willing, I will be able to still have a suitable "income" coming in but one that will also allot me the time in my schedule I will need to really get myself (back) together.

But hey, I can post all the bullet points in the world but only a PLAN will make sure I adhere to them. So I will post everyday on how I stuck to the plan that day be it my food intake, my regimen and my good thoughts.

Moving on... but not really:

I love Special K cereal, and was thinking about this Special K Challenge over the weekend. Not so much because I think it's the end-all, be-all of healthy weight loss, I realize it's not... but I was thinking of trying this out for a guinea pig purpose... but I mean, well, if I lose an inch (or six pounds) off my waste that would be cool too. They guarantee at least an inch on the commercials and I must admit I am rather curious. The "challenge" has undergone some slight tweaks since they first introduced it years back... I do remember trying it before but it didn't quite stick. I think because then they didn't have other flavors and I couldn't put sugar on my cereal cause that wasn't part of the plan. Hence why it didn't work for me at all... but now they have snack bars, protein shakes, waffles and a bigger variety of cereals. I was thinking of making a little test experiment out of it... I mean, I've done The Master Cleanse for 1o days... so everything else should be simple, right? lol And I was thinking I could use my Fat Smash detox guidelines for the one meal a day to really drive it home.
What say you?

I debate and debate about it, but I really do need something to shock my system while I am doing my workouts. Working out and eating whatever is not a good balance, but I've found (based on my 2005/06 get fit plan) that when I worked out, filling myself with better for me foods I had a lot more energy. Um, yeah, I know, duh!

I do like Special K, but in general I am not a cereal for breakfast person. I know if I am going to be my best healthy self I need to get over that. BUT since I can't make/won't spend time in the kitchen making egg white omelets and thangs everyday, I need to find a delicate balance. SO I bought some Special K Vanilla Almond and Special K Cinnamon Pecan :)

A nice huge salad some days for lunch or days where I have cereal & fruit for lunch I can make a big bowl of sauteed spinach (my sauteed spinach is fye (fire)!) or red beans and (brown) rice... so long as it's part of the fat smash menu. I think I might be able to make it! My baby's birthday is June 15, so I think that's a nice round numba to see where my progress is from today. Tomorrow, I will resume my Chalene Extreme... and stay the course this time... for real. Utilize that book of yummy recipes she suggests. I'm such a loser sometime... stop spending money on these things and not getting the full benefit, crazy!! *rolls eyes at self*

It's all so frustrating really to know that in 2006 when I returned here, I was extremely fit and still looking to lose like 20 pounds trying to adhere to industry standards... this is where my new recentered self will come into play... keeping me grounded in reality.

So, a typical day will go like this:
Times are estimates and will vary obviously... but the GOAL is to try and stick as close to the times as possible to not only create a rhythm and habit that my body is used to, but also make sure I utilize all the time in my days, positively and wisely.

6 a.m.: Morning rise and prayer
6:30 a.m.: Workout
7:30 a.m.: Breakfast
10:30 a.m. Snack 1
11:30 a.m.: Sun's nap
Noon: Study
1:30 p.m. Lunch
4 p.m. Snack 2
6:30 p.m. Dinner
7:30 Sun's bathtime..
8 p.m. Sun's bedtime..
8:30 p.m. Study/Blog/Unwind

As I said, I'll post daily and make sure to live life in betweek eating lol Trips to the park, store, zoo, cleaning, etc. I just didn't feel it necessary to get into details as far as those were concerned. :)

What can you do/tweak to make your routine work more positively for you? Can you really commit to something for 30 days? 60 days? 90 days?

ETA 6/6/09: OK, so I decided NOT to do the Special K challenge BUT I have had breakfast the past three mornings... I will have it tomorrow as well directly after my morning workout. Yeah!

Entering Year Two of Locdome

2009-05-31T08:14:00.009-05:00

I am so excited to be completing my first year of Locdome till death do us part... I think back to 2002 when I first went natural for the second and last time. I was always admiring locs but never had the determination or commitment to get them... plus I looooved my loose hair. Adored it even. I loved my afro puff, and chunky twistouts... over the years I'd even learned to love my hair in twists, boxbaids and the occasional extension hairstyle or cornrowed style. It was so much fun... and I would find myself saying, "locs aren't versatile enough for me... I could never get them cause then what can you do with them?" The answer is: a lot! Granted my babies are just starting to get that "drape" affect, but I am already seeing the flexibility. It helps that my locs have plumped up to be a really good size from my little comb coils I first began with. And it's nice to feel my hair moving and blowing in the wind. I never experienced that when I was fried out (relaxed). My hair would get to a certain length and stop. I've already surpassed it with my natural, healthy, God-given mane. And I look forward to all the up do's and pin-ups and curly loc styles I can stand. I still haven't yet decided how long I will let them get, or when I will color again... but trust me that the possibilities are endless. Do we have our days where they are rude and unruly? Sure... I mean, look whose head they're on! :)

But I can truly say that I have enjoyed every minute of it. And my hair is a true representation of who I am.. natural, wild, easily tamed, and beautiful. I went to the My Black Is Beautiful tour yesterday. And despite being a little poorly organized it was great just to be around like-minded sisters who care about our health, hair, skin and love... I saw locs to die and envy for and got so excited about the journey to come. It's been fun to learn new things about my hair and how to care for it that I didn't do well when I was a loose-hair nappy.

I mean, I maintain my own locs! That is huge for me ya'll... the little tomboy who still doesn't know how to cornrow... the girl who had to practice just to learn how to two-strand twist her hair! Craazy. So it's a thrill to be here for me. And now that cowrie shells and tams and headbands and ponytails are starting to take flight... whew... I'm just excited. Happy to have a head of healthy, NATURAL, hair. Growing as it should be without unhealthy manipulation or assimilation to how they think my hair should look. I cherish you today, hair. And everyday.

This follows along with this blog because we all need to be healthy from the inside out. And this includes our hair. If our hair is healthy, that is sayin a lot about the inside, what we're feeding ourselves, and how it's coming out of us via hair follicles and our skin. Even though, my skin has been going through a thang lately, but I digress.

At any rate, about to get out and go for my five-mile walk and then I have to put in some work later for a new contract I picked up for June. Yay... forward!

I Joined The Mile-High Club

2009-05-25T09:06:00.009-05:00

OK, so not in the traditional sense of the phrase... but it got your attention. :)

So on Thursday, I had this bright idea to walk to my "neighborhood Target." *sigh*

In my whip, I get there in 5-10 minutes, tops. On foot, it was a 3-hour adventure. I went thinking it was about a 4 mile round trip journey... so without Googling, I strapped the sun into his stroller with a couple snacks, some ice water and my iPod. The object of the mission: get an armband for said iPod, a nightlight for the sun's room, and a battery for my sports watch.

I left my home at 6:20. I returned home at 9:30 (to my credit, I spent more time in Target than expected cause I wanted them to change the battery and when I got into my watch it was a complicated mess to get the battery out and THEN I stopped at the local currency exchange to get quarters for laundry). I arrived dripping buckets of sweat with tense quads. Yikes. I Google map the route... and found out my presumed 4 mile walk was actually a SIX-MILE walk round trip... owww!

As probably expected, I didn't do laundry that night... but I did take a hot shower and sit my ass down somewhere. Friday, I walked to the stores and back a brisk two-mile adventure to stay loose. And did my laundry, finally. Saturday, I just chilled and stretched waiting for Sunday.

Sunday morning, my alarm clock went off at 4:30 a.m. and I told her to shut her trap. I laid back down and then my BODY'S alarm clock woke me at 5:20... I remember hoping that I heard rain on my rooftop so I would have a good reason not to go. I looked out my window... no rain. *sigh* Then I said, "well, the people I was originally riding with aren't doing it anymore... I'll be lonely; I should stay home." 10 minutes later, I got out of bed tired from excuses.

In my car on the way to the expressway to go downtown, I had the bright idea on how to avoid traffic, parking woes and tickets, paying for meters etc. by just driving my bike and I to 47th and Lake Park in Hyde Park and riding in from there. It seemed like such a good idea at 6 in the morning. My bike and I hit Lake Shore Drive in all it's windiness at 6:20 a.m. I trecked from Chicago's luxurious Hyde Park neighborhood (southeast)... all the way to Chicago's uppity northside (where the ride turned around) 20 some odd miles away. Before doing so, I met up at the official beginning (approximately 10 miles away from my start) with a friend who by the glory of Facebook met me down there so I wouldn't do the ride alone. Thanks God, for Facebook status updates.

We biked to Bryn Mawr (the official turn around spot) and stopped in the rest stop for bananas and muffins and H20... somebody who will remain nameless didn't bring any water bottle and I told him if he thought I was getting back on LSD with him to head back another 20 miles he was sadly mistaken lol. But in essence, it was a good idea for BOTH of us cause that sustenance really helped us get back. Without it, we would have been in a world of ish. 35-40 miles later I was back at my truck, wondering why my butt was in so much pain... it still is, right now. BUT I did it. AND Chicago's Lake Shore Drive in the morning, is beautiful. More hilly than I remember it ever being when I drive my car over it tho. lol A great workout. My legs have put in so much work the past couple days, so many miles (hence the title) if I didn't keep it going, I would have to kick myself.

It did give me the courage to think I could brave bikers on a consistent basis. I admittedly was nervous about it. I'm going to get some padded biking pants to see if that helps any... cause more than anything, the ass area was the worst part of it all. It is why I gave up spinning classes... just real rude to the ass. Next time out with my bike is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Sporadic rides will condition me (and my ass) for my next big ride in July. I found friends to do it with while in Grant Park recovering before the ride back home. See...

The bike path (I had to take the bike path back to the south side/car because they were clearing off bikers to make way to open it up to the cars again) behind Lake Shore Drive is beautiful... riding right there next to the lake, behind the museums, riding past the Chicago Fire Fighter's tribute... very calming even with walkers (walking two abreast) who refuse to move over ANY when you say, "on your left!" knowing you can't pass them because traffic is coming from the other direction. Assholes.

The pleasure is in knowing, I could do exactly what I did before, parking near the drive and getting busy. It was a lovely day ass pain aside. After we loaded the bikes into my car, we went for brunch where I enjoyed a spinach and feta cheese omelet, wheat toast, turkey sausage and hash browns and more glasses of water. And was home by noon. I slept the rest of the day though and finally got up to stop by a holiday BBQ around 7 p.m.

I was back in bed by midnight... pooped!

30 Days to Form a Habit

2009-05-19T09:15:00.004-05:00

I had a little bout of the lazies directly after getting back from Florida. And that lazy turned into my new habit vs. doing my program.

I knew I should have taken my workout with me, but I just couldn't see toting my weights in my suitcase. In hindsight, I could have packed my bands and just did altered moves because once you stop for a bit it's hard to get back in it because the pain you have to prepare for is all brand new. And brand new pain is worse than "feeling the burn" pain.

At any rate, I've still been eating well and haven't gained any weight and I'm ready to get back in the "habit." I've been a busy bee, with different volunteer work and working my job(s) but I've also been looking for new contracts and work. So I haven't been totally useless and up until last night, I hadn't touched my bar since Cinco de Mayo. Progress indeed... but last night I made a couple Screwdrivers to take the edge off after a conference call of inaccuracy and ineptitude.

Be that as it may, I will start using a calendar (I look at one every day at my desk) to plan out what I should be doing... because in essence, I should be working out in the early mornings, scheduling a part of my day to study, working a block of hours etc.

If it's one thing I am coming to terms with is that I will be 30 in a little more than seven months and there's so many things I need to get together professionally and personally by (preferably before) then. My work situation, weight situation, etc. are going to do nothing but discourage me extra if I am still experiencing the woes with them as an full-fledged adult. I say that not saying I'm not an adult now, I'm as adult as they come but there's something serious about leaving your 20s behind.

This Sunday, I will be Biking the Drive. And I bought a new bike on Sunday when I was volunteering for early registration and packet pick-up for the event. I fell in love with The Globe:
a lil hybrid baby like the one pictured, but in silver. She even has a lil bell. :)
I had been contemplating for months on what kind of bike to get. And after test riding a couple, this one was the winner. I also bought a helmet, say whaaaat? I can't wait to ride it this Sunday, but lookin forward to putting plenty of miles on her.

They say the drive is beautiful, so my friends and I are gonna get out there at the very beginning (5:30 a.m.) and ride Lake Shore Drive and watch the sun rise... and then have a nice pancake breakfast afterwards.... soooo looking forward to it.
So, SUNDAY is the (official) day where I will have my stuff back together. I am letting that be the symbolic beginning of my fit life... again... and 30 days to form a habit... I think I'd only done the program a few weeks before Florida came around. I have got to shake this stagnance that tries to overcome me... continue to live freely even when life tries to hinder me. You know?

Can you commit to something for 30 days to make it a habit? Let's start today. For me, that means starting to remodel the house. I will be starting that today in just a few hours. Tell me what your commitment will be... and let's do it together.

Running Wid Scissors

2009-04-30T08:41:00.008-05:00

I have been battling with trying to resume my run activity for about a week. My homegirl in Michigan recently heard she had high cholesterol and immediately (same day as doc appointment) went to get a gym membership and the next day ran/walked a couple miles AND has already registered for her first 5K at the end of May! How AWESOME is that?! :) I mean, some people just get it started right off bat... no hesitation. And I love that. However, since I don't have THAT kinda luxury (I mean who will watch The Sun?!) I have to plan out how things are going to happen to a fine print so that there's a less chance of it falling through (i.e., failing) on me.

So wid that in mind, I am in the process of finding a running stroller so I no longer have an excuse as to why I can't go running. The gym membership is a dead issue to me since it's ~~trying to get~~ nice outside. Since I am a toddler's mother, I can find excuse after excuse as to why I can't do something... but not anymore. Yesterday, I had to get out of the house while contractors were working on the porch... (well not HAD to, but they were loud) so I did all my errands on foot. I already have a stroller, but it's not for running. The running strollers are made wid a special three-wheel set up for easy pivoting, built for speed etc. Some can get very, very expensive because they're trying to be lighter, have better tires, hold big ass children (up to 150 lbs) etc. Yesterday and today are the "research" day where I looked into the top recommended brands and how much they run. I will use a couple days trying to see what I can do/find on eBay as Craigslist in my area left one lonely stroller and it was listed for $200! Get back, jack! That's slightly above my budget. If I could find a gently used one for $100 or less, I'd be happy. I can upgrade later yanno? All else fails, I'll spend $150 or so at Target and call it a day.

My background while not very intensive says that I CAN run, I've just chosen not to. I've done slightly-competitive 5K WALKS and have started Couch Potato to 5K more times than I can remember... but now that I am back active, for the first time I don't feel like I am forcing myself to get involved. I was a runner in high school... so I know I got it in me. Plus there's nothing like a runner's body... *wolf whistle*

So here's the plan:
1. Subscribe to Runner's World Magazine. I received a subscription special in error in the mail and took that as my first sign that maybe I should stop thinking about it and DO it. (I've been considering running again off and on for years). *writes check, seals envelope*
2. Find a stroller. Any leads, recos highly encouraged.
3. Go find a nice, comfortable shoe made for my weird feet. I ain't gwan spend more than $120... so don't even try to make me. The trial issue of the magazine they sent to encourage me to get started said you can go out (to start) wid the shoes you already own so long as they are comfy, but my current trainers have quite a few miles on them (they're two years old) and I have shin splints from my track days, so I would rather just get a new shoe off bat. But will start in them if everything else falls in line.
4. Start fixing my diet. As a runner, you kinda HAVE to get your diet in better check because the food fuel literally gets you through the run. So there's an idea. I hope to be hitting the old dusty trail wid in a week or two (depending on shipping). Till then I am scheduled to do 4-mile walks twice a week and my strength program I've been up to.

Wish me luck in finding a good, sturdy running stroller, for an affordable price. That's truly the most important component... if I had that I could at least get started and the rest will come. Early morning run, strapping him in and getting to it. Don't talk about it, be about it... get runnin and put the scissors down.

Breast Milk!

2009-04-28T17:52:00.004-05:00

I need to replenish.

With all the workouts, my boobature is finally shrinking, returning to my C cup and I am so sad about it. I thought I might luck up and get to keep 'em since I haven't breastfed in six months, but one month of determined workouts have completely shut down that plan.

Quick, somebody give me a baby to feed!!

Hungry, Hungry Hippo Slimmo!

2009-04-15T10:19:00.003-05:00

Sooo, there's defo an increase in appetite when doing so much strength training. I am learning the hard way, but trying my very best to make the most healthy choices. I think I may start counting points again... I figure something is better than nothing since I clearly have some sort of issue wid tracking calories. Plus, I have all these fancy schmancy unused, but paid for, Weight Watchers journals... at least then I am still tracking what goes in. I am still undecided. But I am wondering if I can perfect that atleast, it might get me geared into tracking calories? *shrugs* Iono... I do know Wednesday workout is done and while I can feel my muscles working, I'm not in excessive pain which is good. That always happens once you get into a groove... I smile at the fact that I am in a groove. Yay.

In other news, here are some favorites I ran across since starting my workouts ... in the healthy eating quickies... take a looksee...

Smart Ones Santa Fe Rice and Beans served with a huge salad wid Balsamic Vinaigrette and a sprinkle of feta? *drool*

(I drink the protein shake as my breakfast drink, after my morning workout.)

So far I've only tried French Vanilla (left in my fridge by accident of my weekend guest) and I really like it. I will try the other flavors. 10g of protein! 5g of fat and only 180 calories... and extremely tasty.

One Easter Sunday...

2009-04-13T10:50:00.009-05:00

So, I had company in over the weekend and didn't drift far away from the plan. (That's the plus.) The negative is, I missed my Sunday morning workout but positively because I went to a place of worship in honor of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. So, I woke up this morning and did my Sunday workout and WILL do my Monday workout later today to make up for missing. I said I was going to get all workouts in this week and I meant it. Since I couldn't get cheap heavier weights so soon, I had a lightbulb moment: I used my wrist/ankle weights. I have four 2.5# weights and two 5# straps so I incorporated those this morning to lift 10# and 13# respectively and didn't curse but only on one exercise... fyi, the Bowler's Lunge wid Single Arm Row is the devil!

I've added a couple photos of my new "workout closet." I converted the closet in my study to a little classy storage area of my workout materials and I think it's awesomely great. I find it the best way to keep everything I need in one place so that I don't ever misplace any workout equipment from my body fat monitor to my stopwatch and, most recently, even my scale. Which I am buying new batteries for today. Usually I just weigh in on the Wii, but I find that the scale is a little more accurate... heh, irony.

You will learn I hate the scale. Because of this I will only weigh myself when I measure, which is instructed to do after every 30 days (of which the first 30 officially began today).

I will also be adding photos of the healthy recipes I make so you can see and know what I am eating. Contrary to a very popular belief we cannot just eat whatever we want and workout hard and expect to see the drastic changes in our body that we seek. Which is why under every before and after picture on those commercials you see "results not typical. One thing those people have is usually a personal trainer that sits with them through every workout to make sure they don't cheat on the workouts, are eating what they're supposed to as prescribed by usually a nutritionist who has figured out the exact amount of calories they need or a prepared food service that sends you the exact meals you're to eat for the week. Lucky devils!

Many of us are not as fortunate or just don't have the deep pockets for that kind of luxury so we have to be our own personal trainer and make sure we don't cheat ourselves and fill our bodies with fuel food that feeds and helps us from the inside out. I think of that phrase: I don't live to eat, I eat to live! And the truth of the matter is, what we choose to intake today can affect our health tomorrow. So we have to be cognisant of what goes in. What are the goals I am trying to accomplish by eating / drinking this? Will it help me toward my main goal. I admit, I was not always following this. But it felt SO good this weekend to know I could make better decisions about my food (didn't eat fast food ONCE... I cooked and ate home cooked meals) I had just a few drinks and no had liquor (only wine and ONE beer). It is those baby steps that are going to cement my hard work... and eventually I will have no alcoholic beverage but every blue moon vs. "on the weekends" and then I'll really be something.
I plan to arise out of this a lean, mean, toned machine. Jah willing, I will not fail and I will not be back in this predicament ever again. Nothing outside of something out of my control will return me to my overweight status. And that's what we all have to say.

We control this!

We are in charge of our weight. WE are in charge or our body.

LET'S GET HEALTHIER... for our children, for our families, for our mind, body, soul... for you.

Workout 2 (and 3) on deck. Burn Intervals and Ab Burner later today... (approximately another 40 minutes of activity). Don't forget to eat well, be well, and take your multivitamin! :)

The Catch-Up: Full Speed Ahead...

2009-04-10T07:54:00.011-05:00

Preface: I apologize for having such terrible response time to posting your comments to the blog... I have recently updated the email address so they come to a more often checked account. I hope I haven't lost you... thanks for continuing to read my stuff! I hope you're able to take something away with you...

Good Morning!

I am up and at you before 8 a.m. today... I've already gotten my workout out of the way, sippin on a banana-strawberry protein shake and about to start cleaning in preparation for my homegirl coming in from out of town for the weekend to see me (well, she's really coming to see my sun... but whatevs lol).

Anywho, I realized I had been grossly neglecting this blog and with the decision to finally stop TALKIN about it and BEING about it, I finally got off my arse and moved full speed ahead. I realize I may have (eventually) two different groups of people who like and enjoy my reads on different levels... in laments terms, people who read this blog could care less about what I am feeling or going through that day, what kinda mood I am in, but they DO wanna know what I am lifting and what I am listening to when I workout, etc. And that is perfectly fine and normal.

I have taken the liberty to add some of the posts from my Master Cleanse last month (even days) in succession and with edited dates to show you some of the ups and downs I went through during my 10-day detox. It was liberating to say the very, absolute least. I also posted something old(er) about meditation. In conjunction with my workout I am doing Yoga pose stretching and meditating, daily. Directly after that I ordered ChaLEAN Extreme with Chalene Johnson and started breaking into that and posted a couple reads pertaining to my workout... I have copy and pasted some excerpts from the past few weeks here for backdrop.

March 25...
...my schedule will be Fri-workout; Sat-rest; Sun, Mon, Tues, Wed.-workout; Thurs-rest. This will also work in conjunction for when I do walks wid the Healthy Hikers group. Most walks will be on Thurs or Saturday... the first walks don't really gear up till the 23rd so hopefully by then my body will be conditioned a lil more to the workouts and walking won't be too much of a strain.

I really love Chalene, her teaching style reminds me of my own, very bubbly and funny but takes no sh*t. hahahaha

April 6...
I did the entire workout this morning after missing my workout yesterday... next week and weeks after, I commit to getting them all in....

....I am admittedly out of shape, I did the first 25 minutes to my highest energy level making low-impact modifications where necessary and then took a short 2-3 minute break while drinking lots of water and then finished the last 20 minutes with the same intensity.

April 8, 2009...
I need some frickin product that's gonna keep my locs maintained a lil longer. All this sweating has my babies already puffy again when I retwisted like a week ago. I don't want build up in em though, so not sure what plan of action to take. I'ma hafta figure it out tho, cause I went from working out none to five times a week and my locs are like, "Naw, naw, naw HELL naw! We ain't on that!"

I was thinking about giving my facial moisturizer (aloe vera gel) a try for my retwists.

Thought? Suggestions?

So now that brings us back to about present day. So Friday (today) is actually the first day of my workout week (see prior 3/25/09 excerpt to understand if confusing) and I am happy to say that I feel much stronger than the first time I did this exercise a week ago!

With the program in general, I see I am actually going to have to up my weights for some of these exercises (currently using 5#, 8# and 10#) because I am much, much stronger than I thought in certain areas (yay!) but that means, more pain. But no pain, no gain right?

And what am I gaining? Muscle! Yah!!

I almost feel like I cheated myself today because I don't feel exerted like I have been. So hopefully I can find some cheap heavier weights before Sunday... Saturday is my second rest day... then big bursts of energy Sunday THRU Wednesday... this will be interesting. But I am hecka excited to see my progress.

I looked into the Bowflex jawns, but um, a sista ain't got that kinda dinero to be shelling out. Though it is a write-off come tax time... hmmm, perhaps soon. I did look into some cheaper alternatives... but they are pricey also. So for now, I will try to spend a good $40-60 on a 15# and 20#... that should keep me steady for the first 30 days then it'll be time to re-evaluate.

In the interest of fairness to ME. This is technically my first week that I am counting toward my first 30 days of my transformation (really a reformation to get back to my previous fitness status) since it will be the actual first week where I commit to all the exercises in succession. NO extra breaks or REST days besides the one afforded me in the workout plan. "Is ya wid me? Ohhh yeahhh."

I must say it feels good to be writing over here. K... time for scrambled egg whites.

Make today a great one!

By no means are my links to encourage and/or solicit that you buy the products I am using but to merely provide more info direct from the source so you can see, visualize and better understand what I am using / doing / following.

I Meditate, Therefore I.. am.

2009-04-01T08:04:00.000-05:00

I love meditation. It is my time for a release, a relaxation, a prayer, a moment to regain clarity. It's a lot deeper than people give it credit. It's not a weird cult-like activity either. For me, it's no different than people who have alters in their home and pray to their God of choice. Use the chart (click on it to enlarge) below for a very brief visual of the act of meditation.

Give it a whirl sometime?

Wrap-Up (Days 9 & 10)

2009-03-20T07:51:00.000-05:00

One minute you're up.... and the next you're down. Welcome day 9.

Today was a good day fast wise... but emotionally I am still a mess. I am exhausted of near everyone and everything but my sun and my fast. MC'ing is like cheap therapy! I've been writing and expressing and releasing and what not while those closest to me get it hard core. It's like I can't just have a straight month wid no bullshit. And I wonder if that's because I need to purge my life along wid my body. I often wonder if I need to completely clear the roster and really spend that time focusing on Rj and me... if there's anytime to be self-involved, I can think of none better than for my child. In similar news, I am seriously considering returning to my predominantly vegetarian diet... but I wonder if I could keep him healthy.... ehh, I got off on a tangent. Not eating will mix you up something awful....

*refocusing*

The cleanse. It's worrisome, but quite a... relief. Because I've been telling people exactly how I feel. No holds barred. Which works for me because I've usually held back sooo much trying to be the bigger person all my life it's nice to just be like... "you know what? eff you, sucka!" lol Though sometimes it's left field. Because I've been crying for two days, my coparent has been the blunt of several angry, "you are a terrible person" texts, my friends have been brushed off with "got too much gwan right now" texts and the person who's on my mind the most, I wonder how it will ever be.... see, emotional mess.

At any rate, I've meditated on it... and I have decided to continue on through the weekend and break on Tuesday when I'm going back to work. There's a luncheon for my students that day, so I will have OJ for dinner on Monday and breakfast on Tuesday and the salad portion of my lunch. I'll pack some raw almonds and make a fruit salad cause I'm sure the lunch @ the banquet will be something heavy and perhaps not very tasty.

Sooo, yeah, my tongue has returned to pink about 90% so I am thinking these last few days will wrap it up nicely. Feeling good, but my 85/15 live foods menu is calling my name! Mmmmm mm! I will say that I do have spurts of really low energy throughout the days. A headache here and there but overall my energy is good. I try to get to bed directly after meditation (I'm meditating twice a day). That's usually when my body can't take anymore anyhow... I wonder if it's normal to be up and down like that in the later stages?

At the home stretch now... my family will be glad when I'm done. My sister says I sound sad. I told her it's not because I'm fasting but because we spoke at 8 a.m. lol

Forward!

3/24/09 ETA: I started breaking fast Saturday... with lotsa OJ. I didn't weigh myself as it wasn't about weight at all... in gen, I feel much lighter and just clean and vibrant. It was a good 10 days... I am extremely proud of myself, and will repeat in the summer. Thanks for listening to me ramble about my random mood swings, and the trials and tribulations of fasting. It was an interesting ride.

Clarity (Day 8)

2009-03-18T07:50:00.000-05:00

I remember why I didn't truly care for the MC before now... not even so much the not eating aspect, but the clarity. Because it's so mental, the mind works overtime to keep you motivated to finish but at the same time, it's open to everything. In 2005 I thought about so much of how things could be different in my life that during those five days I decided to move back to Chicago to be with the majority of my family, but also to try a relationship wid a man I never told how I felt. Because I'm a Capricorn, I'm stubborn by nature though and by the time I got here in 2006, I'd completely changed my mind. Because I'd hurt him already and didn't want him (a Capricorn as well) to shun me. Like we do. lol I also thought about starting my own business, something else I didn't follow through on with a serious mindset. It's like once I returned to the land of the eating, clarity diminished something terrible.

Yesterday I had the displeasure of being spoken to like a child, by my boss. For no reason. It irritates me some that I continue to work for people who have their own companies or positions of power and don't know professionalism from a hole in the wall. It's like, are you cereal? Furthermore, she was frustrated not with MY performance, but because she was having a bad day and her administration is confused, unorganized and dropped the ball on something. Whatevs... can't sweat the small stuff... furthermore, that's not what caused my emotional breakdown right before I was so exhausted that I passed out. Literally. Thank goodness my sun was already in bed with me. I didn't even see sleep coming. I didn't have a chance. And slept soundly until he climbed on me saying good morning this a.m.

I woke wid those same discouraging feelings. I need to purge all toxins... not just from my body it seems. I've just noticed a massive increase in emotions while fasting. And I wonder if this is normal. Is it the mental clarity that comes along wid fasting? I spent all last night crying my eyes out over things I cannot change and that's not even my style. I've been through a lot the past 4-5 months and life's changed a lot... I wonder if I haven't really had a minute or desire to think about it until now and all this mind power to stay focused on finishing is getting redirected to that of all these other thoughts my mind locked away? I'm sure no other fasters will be able to relate and I'm just weird.... story of my life. lol

At any rate, SWF done.

No tea last night tho... so this should be interesting.

p.s. my teeth feel funny and I'm friggin freezing.

Perspective (Day 6)

2009-03-16T07:48:00.001-05:00

Soooo, I felt kinda like an asshole after my last post after I really took time to put things into perspective. Millions of people worldwide have no choice but to "fast" daily, only they call it starvation. And here I am volunteering to go without food to better my spiritual and mental clarity and cleanse my digestive system while giving it a rest and have the audacity to complain about it! Le sigh... I will try best not to whine anymore in regards to this. In the same breath I was reminded by a support group poster that while that may be true... what I was choosing to put into my body wasn't always wholesome foods and beverages and that I was in a sense abusing food and liquor. "Just because it is available does not mean that we use food in a way that is positive," she said and she's so right. I can't begin to discuss how many times I stopped at a fast food drive thru to pick up something ladened with fat and very little nutritional value in the last month. Way too many times.

I concluded that food smells definitely had a lot to do with the moods yesterday because today I was OK. When I did the MC in 2005, I didn't have a child. While I had a roommate it wasn't a shared meal household unless we made it such, so it was easy to disassociate myself and confine myself to my room for the time of the fast. I can't do that with my sun however, he has to eat and I am responsible for feeding him. I got that out the way yesterday tho and he's good for the rest of the week. Which works well for me because heating up things isn't as much of a problem and tempt as cooking a full meal. Furthermore he just wanted yummy snacks today mostly... so he got things like granola, raisins, yogurt, fruit... you get the point. Sometimes he's a picky eater.

I got up this morning and after prayer, did 20 minutes of yoga poses via the Wii Fit. Got some optimal stretching in after taking a day off yesterday to do nothing but laundry. The bloating yesterday was a new feeling. It's not an issue today. My legs are still a lil tender from my 5-mile walk Saturday but stretching and yoga helped immensely. I opted not to drink tea tonight. I will attempt to do a SWF at 6 a.m. rise to see what happens before I leave at 7:30 since I have to work. If I sleep in, I prolly won't do a SWF at all and just tea it up twice tomorrow. I don't want to be blowing up the bathroom at my job! I usually do all my releases in the a.m. and chill for the rest of the day so as long as I can crawl out of bed to get it done, I should be OK. For a change, not only have I already packed both our bags, I also picked out our outfits AND ironed them. Now to just pour my concoction into my thermos (cayenne already packed) so I am hoping for a good mornin and an early start.

Not much longer before sweet yummy orange juice and vegetable soup.

Forward!

Vibrant Day 4

2009-03-14T07:47:00.001-05:00

I FEEL WONDERFULLY MOTIVATED TODAY... LIKE I CAN GET THROUGH THE NEXT 6 DAYS AND THEN SOME!

I am going to get out and about today and get some things done. I woke up with energy like I've not been fasting which was cool. But I also woke up with almost menstrual-like cramps from the tea I'm sure. They weren't severe or anything but definitely unpleasant. I finished my salt water flush and waited patiently. I could literally hear and feel stuff rumbling around in there so it wasn't long before my first release. I felt a little nauseous this a.m. upon first rising like I could vomit, but that passed and was replaced with cramping, but then that passed with the release. So NOW wait around for a little more for the second while getting my sun ready to go enjoy his day. I hope I release at least once more before I head out because that would make me feel a bit more comfortable about taking a 4.5-mile trek with one of my Meetup groups.

In general, I feel like I've been living life as normal the past three days which I take as a good sign. I'm not hungry at all. And that red beans and rice craving calmed down some. It took mercy on me. lol

It's now 9:33 a.m. CST and my walk is at 1 p.m. so I have some time to pass. I am dropping my sun off and then headed to my sister's for a bit to kill time... I am going to drink my lemonade before leaving and on the ride. Bathroom break at my sister's then head to the park with my water canteen. Then I'm headed to Kohl's or JC Penney (haven't decided) looking for a toddler bed set. Then headed back home to clean and redecorate The Sun's room while listening to some great music with open windows so fresh air can breeze on in. If I have time, I may do a leisure walk in my neighborhood park and that will take care of my activity for the day and I can take it easy tomorrow with some yoga and stretching and reading... a calm day. :-)

I'm not sure how long this euphoric state will last, so I'm going to enjoy it until the cleanse knocks some sense back into me! :-)

SO EXCITED! YAY DAY FOUR!

9:03 p.m. ETA:
Sooo, I didn't have enough lemonade... and I stayed out longer than I expected. Got some severe headaches on the ride home and thought numerous times to stop in somebody's drive thru and deaden the pain. But my rationale was that I refuse to spend money on more junk food when I have food in my cupboards. Well, when I got to my cupboards, I couldn't find one reason to eat anything in them besides being weak at heart. And I have never fancied myself a weakling. I mean, really, I can do this. I drank two large glasses (I think they are 12 oz) of my mix and now I feel a lot better. I still wonder about how long I can maintain but in the meantime between time, I am just gonna keep trucking, meditating and praying for the strength and mental will power this takes. I need to remember why I am doing this.

I know an unhealthy digestive system can (and has) lead to weight gain, illness, lack of energy, hidden hunger and a buildup of toxins. I am looking for a new level of health. My ultimate level of health and I am willing to achieve it by any healthy means necessary. My friends don't refer to me as "au naturale" for nothin. I am not a pill popper, I am not a surgery candidate, I am a woman who strives to eat healthy, stay active all while loving life. A woman who loves her body. And wants to preserve it and the life it lives for as long as I can. This will help in so many ways.... and I will prove my nay sayers, and perhaps even myself, incorrect. It is possible for me to finish... 10 days or bust. Soon time for tea and then bed. Bring on day 5.

Chills & Headaches

2009-03-12T07:45:00.000-05:00

Well, I've made it into day 2. I am starting the detox now... I was sitting wid my sun watching Spongebob Squarepants and he wanted to cuddle... which was nice. But I kept feeling like he had a fever. I kept touching his back and hands and they felt so warm but not his brow. As the chills move over me, I realize now that I am the one trippin. Not him. I've had an off and on again headache since hour 5... now at hour 25... my head has settled but the chills are irritating my skin. I'm two seconds off of bundling up in sweats, a sweater and my throw. But oddly enough, I am dealing with the cravings well since being home. Making dinner for Rj was a task... I really wanted to munch on a piece (even if a very small one) of one of those chicken nuggets... lick a fish stick... something. BUT, I resisted. Just gotta make it through the first few days... the rest kinda rolls right along. Granted I only know 5 days... this time with 10, I may cut someone. lol

Gotta drink my tea tonight... and ugh, warm SWF in the a.m. Not looking forward to that, but whatevs... I am due to make another batch of potion but first I must rinse out my juicer... from the other day. Yuck.

Just checking in.... bring on the rest of day 2.

10:15 p.m. Edit to add:
Ugh... the tea is the pits. I remember now. Gonna need a cold bottle of water and a bedtime brush of the tongue to kill the after taste.

New batch mixed... ready to brave the night. Time to rest and say hello to day 3.

Let The Battle of Wills Begin

2009-03-11T07:42:00.000-05:00

RBG note: I wrote this yesterday 3/11/09 but then started my official master cleanse prior to dinner at 5 p.m. so I am rounding into day 2 entering my 17th hour of no food. Just wanted to keep myself honest. So far I have had massive headaches. Two Motrin before bed helped me sleep but it was still there to greet me in the morning. Drinking about 12 oz of "the potion" since rise has helped. I'm also armed with my cantene of water and a total of 36 (more) ounces of potion to get me through my classes till early afternoon. Day 2 starts at 5 p.m. ****

"A fast is a test of will power... it is simply mind over matter."
~ Self, first Master Cleanse 2005

Sooo, today was officially my first day starting my second (successful) Master Cleanse. I say "successful" because I have attempted since my first but it was a lil bit of cheating going on. OK, there, I said it! And I realize I wasn't cheating nobody but myself blah blah blah... ok *eyeroll* I get it! lol

BUT my first one in 2005, I did withstand food for five whole days, but I broke terribly and didn't do orange juice the first day of breaking fast as recommended but I am armed and ready this time. One of my Sorors just finished it for 10 whole days as recommended and I figured if someone I actually KNOW can withstand it.. surely I can do it too. Reading testimonials of strangers is not the same as knowing someone who withstood the trials and tribulations this cleanse brings. It's gonna get ugly up in here. Which is why I will journal about it. Not only does that keep me held accountable, but might help me work through the issues at the same time.

I also told people in my life, including my students, what was going on so I can have all eyes on me. And then they can motivate me and keep me on the path should I feel like straying. So I had my last meal... and it was a goodie: organic round steak, trimmed fat, broiled with baked mac and cheese and sweet corn. *whew*

I cleaned the plate and NOW I'm ready to cleanse myself. :) So I armed myself with all the proper tools to be successful. Unlike previously I decided to mix a big gallon batch vs. 32 oz. containers. This way, I have to mix less. The less I have to mix the better because when I start wanting to eat ... something I will grow impatient and grab a piece or fruit or bread or something. Also unlike previously, I went with fresh organic lemon vs. bottled juice.

So I juiced whole lemons and mixed it with my syrup and voila... big batch ready to take on the world. Tonight I will drink my Smooth Move tea after a cup of herbal tea (wid a dash of lemon sweetened with the syrup). And in the morning, I am dabating if I will do salt water flush because I have to go to work and it's been my experience that my SWF starts working muuuuch later than the book says on the first few days lol. Meaning (for those who are clueless of the MC) that the book says the SWF flush will start working through the intestines and cause a bowel movement within about an hour.... yeah, um, not so much for the kid! It willl surprise me in the middle of my morning like, what's up! That probably says a lot about my tummy, but I digress.
Looks sorta like apple cider... or very clouded piss... depending where your head is, lol. I will need more syrup for sure... At 18.99 a pop. I hope only two more, tops. :- Depends how hungry I get in those later days. Right now at 6-8 glasses a day, I may survive on just one more. *crosses fingers*

OK, so I'm ready..... send me positive vibrations. See you in 24 hours to officially commemorate the start of day 2 (1 p.m. C.S.T.)

One Time For Your Mind

2009-02-25T07:39:00.000-06:00

I'm thinking about detoxing... with every facet of my life pleasing me, my waistline started tryin to grow on me. I am double cursed because I eat when I am distressed and I eat when I get comfortable and happy with certain situations, people, relationships. Now, the comfortability wouldn't be such a bad thing if I was still in my best shape and as active as I once was. But I am working on that. (Which reminds me, I need to buy large index cards... I've started studying and I need the cards so TB and random strangers can help me study.) I am scheduled to take my certification exam on 3/28/09. (Which reminds me, I have to book my room for that Friday. Early morning test in the suburb.. I will not enjoy the ride.) Hmmm, I miss my memory. lol I think I look good at any weight... even when I was sitting at the door of 200 pounds, I thought I was hoooot so even though my lust handles bug me sometimes, the weight really isn't the issue... but mostly what's freaking me out... is how I feel. I miss my energy.

I still have a plenty, for those who know me. Kinda a spit fire... but if you can believe it... I used to have MORE. *suggestive eyebrow raise* I been finding a lot of old photos of "skinny me" lately and I guess I choose that as my sign to get it to friggin gether. I know there's a lot of opinions about detoxing and how it's ineffective and a "waste of time" and unhealthy, but whatever. I've done several safe ones. I'm weird, but I truly believe they rejuvenate you because they have you being one wid your body. They clear your mind, center you and release toxins as you rinse them out.* I guess I just think about how I've felt after them in the past... amazing. And since I already feel great wid everything in my life having greatness behind it... I imagine myself after this one feeling something near euphoric. I mean, really. Cleaner, lighter, brighter skin (after that ugly phase that comes wid detox) and a stronger core and clean palatte to start with as we welcome spring with all her glory and I release the butterfly... 2008 left off so great and 2009 has been magnificent thus far... and I'm gonna keep this peace wid me thru this year and until I leave this earth. (Dramatic, I know... but true.) I enjoy happiness... it feels great to say, "I'm happy" and really, really, really mean it.

Thank you, Jah for all the many blessings you have bestowed upon me thus far.... without your grace, where would I be? My family, my home, my love, my health... thank you. I know now, I am truly worthy

I'm ready to purge and spring clean to be truly truly free of all the yuckiness. Yah!

I wish I had a local buddy, detoxes are always easier wid a backbone, but I've done it solo before. But spring is the best time of the year to do a detox, so I am using that as my inspiration. I'm going to do the often-thought complex Master Cleanse (known in some circles as The Lemonade Diet) for 10-day detoxification. Break for 2-3 days as instructed. Then move into fresh juices and whole foods. 21 days total... then moving into JUST whole foods and high-quality H20... rounding out just in time for my exam. It's fool proof. *nervous face*

No coffee, nor alcohol, no meat, and well... I'll keep you posted! lol

*statements on detoxing are not approved by the FDA and no one should undergo a detox without first consulting his/her physician for guidance and safety

"Don't lose the good parts!"

2009-01-13T05:27:00.003-06:00

Everytime I tell one of those people from Mars that I am officially, officially getting back into my old habits, they always say some variation of the same thing: "Don't lose the ass!" "Don't lose your hips!" "Don't lose the good parts!" WTF?

First and foremost, this is how we women get all sidetracked and confused about what our body image is versus what it should be. If I hear one more female say, "I don't want to lose the thickness" or my personal favorite: "I just want to lose my belly and this back fat. The rest can stay." I will scream. OK, I'll really complain about it silently or rant about it here because I am on this new Zen kick where I am trying not to raise my voice, blood pressure, or sweat the small stuff BUT the irritation remains. Honey, you can't lose JUST your tummy. OK, there I said. Losing weight, building muscle, and getting healthier is a complete transformation. Not only will your outward appearance to the public change, but your insides will change, healthier lungs, heart, liver, intestines etc. The way you look, think and feel about food will change too. You won't need greasy food to line your belly wid... when you're hungry you will think about a good-for-you meal versus fast "food."

Leave the unbelievably large asses to the porn stars and oddly shapen people. Furthermore, if you got ass by second-nature... trust and believe it ain't going nowhere. It might be more proportionate, but whether an 8 or an 18, the ass is still gonna be there just hopefully tighter and higher thanks to a serious squat regimen. There are ways to work it out, trust. If you don't believe me... allow my now size 12-14 ass show you my high school size 8 ass. It's the same one just with less cellulite and tone. lol

I handle some business with my free time tomorrow, including checking out the YMCA not far from my house about their gym plans. I was planning on starting to build my home gym but I think it would be good for me to get outta the house... even though in a few short months the weather will be too nice to be holed up in anyone's gym. I am so very confused on what it is I wanna do... lawd.

But I am working on defining my "good parts!" and I feel fantabulous.

I am on a detox that I have kinda altered slightly of whole / live foods and fresh juice... that I am loving. I am also starting to clean out the insides with fiber flushes... I hope to rise up in three weeks a lighter, cleaner version of myself. I'm not worried about weight loss. Just take away this icky feeling.

129 Days Update

2009-01-12T07:48:00.002-06:00

I've neglected this blog so much. That is so sad.

I just wanted to come in here and briefly apologize to it and let it know that I did successfully start numbers 3 and 4. 1 and 2 I am still working on... because I did not start them as soon or as well as I should have lol

My hair is good... growing... nicely...but I could treat it better also.

Happy New Year...
Happy Born Day Blessings to me...

Sweet, sweet blessings to be another year wiser.
Life in all its glory is so fantastic right now.

I am considering...

2008-09-29T00:00:00.002-05:00

....the "Hollywood diet" (I have to attend the Black United Fund Awards Gala this weekend and I need to fit into one of these OLD bridesmaid dresses cause I am NOT buying another.)

... starting a Spanish refresher course tomorrow

... going completely veg... but is it selfish to deny my youth.

... actually TRYING to lose 45 pounds which would put me at high school weight

... ceasing drinking

... leaving this situation, bundling my youth and making it to Promise Land... wherever that may be.

129 Days to Peace...

2008-08-24T23:01:00.009-05:00

Today is the first day, of the rest of meh life... it sounds corny, but today... for me, it's true. I really need "a change gone come" around here. Having my sun 14 months ago really made me see a lot of things differently... and for him I was trying to make certain things work in my life that just aren't meant. I've had to refocus and center myself... but it is a seemingly difficult task with the wrong influences. Having him has truly changed me as a person, and I should follow suit in all things so that I can be the best mother he deserves. I'd like to believe I'm a good person, so why negativity always seems to find me, I am not sure. But today is the day I take more ownership of how things in MY life progress and keep them natural and positive and great. So with that said: I am instituting a sort of "challenge" for myself. There are exactly 129 days left until the first of 2009. (Nuts how fast this year went, but I digress.) So with these 129 days, I will take myself into my own personal "next level."

So of course, I have some goals.

1. Get Back Active: Exercise at least 3 times a week. It can be a walk, a bike ride, an exercise DVD, a dance class, whatever -- but I must get in at least three days.
~ I have registered to take my re-certification exam December 6, 2008 in Schaumburg.
~ Tone, tone, tone!

2. Remove 20 pounds... for good!
Genesis 1:29 ~ And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Coincidence of this Bible verse? I'm sure, but who cares. I need to get back to eating those whole-grain, organic, things of the earth and away from what I had started resorting to... more flesh than veggies, more processed junk that life foods, etc.

3. Enjoy life... enjoy my child... and let no one take this happiness, love from me.

4. Save some duckets. Buy a home. The goal is to buy a home early 2009.

My moment has arrived. I give thanks for all that encompasses me and has made me who I am today... but tomorrow is not promised, so I must begin to live for my present.

I recognize now that which is truly important... I abhor being stressed out. I look on with envy as certain friends of mine are always golden. Either they hide it well or they truly are happy inside out. I crave that. I will have that.

I want to be free. I sense the divine order of all things in my life approaching me... and I welcome it with open arms. And then I will release it unto you and others... let's spread positive energy.

John 1:29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

Rejoice with me! We just brought in Day One...

Jah Bless.

It's a Hard Loc Life

2008-08-19T08:46:00.006-05:00

While my babies are growing splendidly, I do have one concern.. they seem to be getting hard as they loc. Some are soft to the touch, but others are hard and almost braid like. Is this normal? Any coiled girls out there? Or shoot, even if a sister or braid loc'er has some advice that would be cool. I need a better way to keep them hydrated maybe, also. I currently spritz with a little water and EVOO, with a dash of peppermint/patchouli oil to help them smell wonderful... but since I am still in that some unravel stage (these two on this side refuse to work with me... grrr!! I'm requesting they get loc-stitched when I go back in two weeks... which will make four... ya'll pray I make it till then lol) I wonder if this is helping or hindering between touch-ups? When I get my roots retwisted, my loctitian uses this very oily water and shea mix.. I mean, super oily to the point where when I went to get a massage after, I soaked through the heavy cloth that covers the table... how embarrassin! I wonder if that is part of the reason they may harden as well. My homegirl sent me a bulletin on MySpace about how hot oil treatments aren't as good as we think they are... so now I am all types of confused and worried about if oil is the devil. I want my locs to be soft and supple not hard... I'm gonna be doing a lot of swangin and I don't want them to hurt me... or anyone who might get caught in the crossfire!

Any advice for softer, supple locs?!?

Mental note to self: Order more Greg's Juice.

Under Construction

It's not uncommon to see roads (usually several at a time) under construction in Chicago. And living here so long, you just get accustomed and learn to maneuver around it with detours or just deal with it... but where in the heyell did all the fione construction workers go!? I mean, really! Everywhere I look they are just unattractive! No eye candy at ALL... but then wanna wolf whistle at me. Clear the line, ugly!!

OK, sorry, I just had to get to that off meh chest. I just did my lunchtime walk a little while ago and they are putting up new condos near my job and they are always out.. being manish and slobbenly. Ugh.

All Clean!

2008-08-11T16:11:00.003-05:00

Well, after a successful detox I can honestly say I feel amazing. I think I will try to open up every month with five days of live foods. Half liquid / half solids but definitely all raw... it really capitalized my master cleanse progress.

Other than that, not too much is going on. My locs are progressing nicely, my skin is never better, and my diet is almost right back on par. Not sure how much I am weighing, but I definitely lost inches (approx. 7) off my waist and my hair is about an inch longer since I started two months ago.

I am looking into more certifications and trying my hardest to work on my business plan. The GOAL is to attend a vegetarian women's retreat for a couple days at the end of next month. That's still in hopeful mode as I have yet to hear back from the organizer on an itinerary and menu.

I DID manage to do something active everyday last week for at least 30 minutes to an hour. Those activities ranged from Hip Hop Abs to walking to Turbo Jam. I will keep up that greatness this week. The more the merrier, I always say.

My job has kept me hecka busy with fundraising and project management but I have managed to stay fabulous regardless. I am eating more organic fruits and veggies and yummy, delicious, healthy foods.

It will be two weeks tomorrow that I inquired about new construction housing in my fair city... I will be calling for updates to see what's going on there. HOPEFULLY they will give me the greatest news. I really, really want to start a garden in my child's backyard... and I need to get the house now, so I can read all my gardening books and be ready by spring lol.

What's going on in your world?

PSA: Don't Block My Thin Thigh!!

2008-08-06T11:11:00.003-05:00

No more approval of comments necessary. Just word verification... My apologies, how annoying was that?!

10 Ways to Think Yourself Thinner
By Cecilia H. Lee
Beachbody!

There are no substitutes for eating healthy and regular exercise, but experts say that your frame of mind and your attitude can make a huge difference to your weight loss success. Of course, we're not suggesting hypnosis or any of that silly voodoo. We're talking about cutting out the "mental fat"—the negative thoughts and emotional baggage we carry around that keep us from being able to shed the physical fat. It's easy for us to make excuses for not getting healthier. Whether it be emotional problems, work-related stresses, or family pressures, something will always get in the way of eating better and making time to exercise.

Just as losing weight and getting healthier won't happen overnight, improving your thought process will take time as well. Be patient with yourself and work at it a little bit at a time. Below we've outlined 10 methods you can use to help you think better, smarter, healthier, and thinner!

1. Visualize yourself thin. Imagine how you'll look 6 to 12 months down the line. If you have old pictures of your thinner self, dig them out and put them up in a prominent place (like the refrigerator or on a bulletin board in your office). Remember how you felt back then. What habits did you have then that allowed you to be healthier? See if you can incorporate your better habits from the past back into your lifestyle now. Remember to see yourself in a positive light. Having a positive attitude and being happy with yourself will be helpful in achieving your health goals.

2. Make a list. List specific reasons why you want to lose weight. Perhaps you want to be more attractive to a certain someone, maybe you want to be able to fit into your old clothes again, or maybe you'd just like to have more energy. Whatever your personal reasons, great or small, write them all down on an index card. Look at your list every morning and carry it around in your wallet or purse. On the back of the card, write down motivating phrases to give yourself encouragement. Think about activities you wish you could do that you can't do because of your weight. If you can, cut out a picture of that activity from a magazine and hang it near your desk (or somewhere else that's visible), so that you'll have something to look forward to.

3. Identify self-sabotaging thoughts. Pay attention to your negative thoughts. We all have them. They may be something like "This is too difficult," "I'll never be able to lose this much weight," or "I'm too tired." You can't stop them from entering your head but you can learn to respond to them constructively.   Don't be overly critical of yourself—focusing on your negative aspects while minimizing your positive ones. Just because you feel or believe something doesn't actually make it true. Of course, there are no wrong or bad emotions, but identifying why something makes you feel bad can help prevent those situations in the future. If you get in the habit of identifying your self-sabotaging thoughts, you can nip them in the bud before they blow up into an ugly depression.

4. Distract yourself from cravings. Create a list of things you can do to distract yourself from tempting food. Perhaps you can read a book, flip through a magazine, or play a video game. Or better yet, go for a walk or pop in an exercise DVD, like Turbo Jam®, 10-Minute Trainer®, or Slim in 6®. The next time a craving comes up, do one or two things on your list. You may have to do more, but eventually the craving will pass. Cravings will pass 100 percent of the time.

5. Create small goals for yourself. Write down a list of tiny things you can do to improve your lifestyle. We all know that it's difficult to make huge changes to our lifestyles. So try accomplishing smaller goals. Try doing some of the activities listed below. 
• Take a 30-minute walk in the afternoon.
• Eat one more serving of fruits or vegetables today.
• Forgo that soda or glass of wine and just have a tall glass of ice water.
• Order a side salad instead of those french fries.

6. Replace old habits with new ones. It's easier to replace an old habit with a new habit than it is to break an old one altogether. For instance, if you have a sandwich every day for lunch, choose low-fat turkey on wheat and skip the mayonnaise. Have plain or sparkling water instead of a regular sugared or diet soda. If you like to have an afternoon snack, grab an apple or a handful of your favorite nuts instead of a candy bar. There are so many ways you can replace even entrenched bad habits with healthier good ones. Be creative and have fun with it.

7. Keep a journal. Get a little notebook and keep a log of your weight. This way you can determine what is and isn't working and track the progress you make. Also, write down what you eat. Keeping track of the foods you eat will help show patterns. You may not have realized that you eat ice cream right out of the freezer every night after dinner, but your journal will keep you honest. Just knowing that you're going to write down what you've been eating may keep you from reaching for that extra serving of mashed potatoes.

8. Plan for the future. Every night before you go to bed, plan for the next day. Whether it be scheduling exercise in your calendar or prepacking healthy snacks (like fresh fruit, cut veggies, or low-fat popcorn), get ready for tomorrow.  This also applies to grocery shopping. Make a list before you go grocery shopping that includes fresh fruits and vegetables you like. Replace calorie-heavy, fatty foods like chips and cookies with baked crackers or dried fruit.  Armed with a plan and tools to help you maintain that plan, you'll have an easier time meeting your goals.

9. Be nice to yourself. When you've been good, do something nice for yourself. Reward yourself with something you enjoy (but not with food rewards, of course!). Perhaps you can enjoy a trip to a movie theatre, buy yourself a new book, or go for a foot massage.   For instance, if you walked up the stairs to work this morning, treat yourself to a bit of Internet surfing or an online game before tackling your job. If you've lost 5 pounds, reward yourself with a new haircut. Whatever you do, give yourself rewards proportional to the goals you accomplish.

10. Surround yourself with support. We all need emotional support, especially when times get tough. Find friends and family to help you. You may even be able to find a diet buddy or join a support group (like the Beachbody Message Boards, for example). Many studies show that having a healthy social network is better for your overall health. Dieters who have friends and family pulling for them achieve better success than those who try to go it alone.   So pick up the phone, call a friend, and flex those mental muscles. Many happy thoughts to you!

PSAs will be random thoughts, notices, followed by something I found online, and therefore did NOT write myself. Contrary to my own popular belief, I do not know everything.... *scoff* Sure, I don't.

Falling In Love With Doing it Raw

2008-08-05T20:15:00.003-05:00

So, who knew you could make a shake without cow's milk or ice cream? I know I didn't. I am sipping on my cinnamon banana shake and it's simply heavenly... made with my new favorite of almond milk (that I also made *snickers with glee*) and it's thick and creamy like a "real" milkshake. Of course I put in more cinnamon than the recipe called for because I love cinnamon. The child passed out when he arrived from Grandmas (LOVE that woman, he's always ready to go straight to bed from her house lol)... so he didn't get a chance to taste this. Maybe tomorrow. I know he'll enjoy it, he loves cinnamon even more than Mommy.

I am enjoying eating more raw foods.... and I feel great. The goal is to eventually be 50/50.I'm doing Fat Burning Cardio again with Shaun T's ass tonight... I think I am gonna shell out about $75 more dollars for Zumba. I didn't get to Turbo Jam in the a.m. as planned, nor yoga, nor sea saltwater flush because with the harsh storms last night all I could do was sleep, sleep, sleep!!

Up Next, Creamy Carrot Ginger Bisque.

The Devil is in My Living Room

2008-08-04T23:06:00.002-05:00

Seriously. Right there. *points at TV without lifting her arm very high* Owwww.... You're adorable, Shaun T and I thought you a bit annoying at first... but I realize now it's just because I don't like you. Because you make my abs hurt... and I hate to love you for that.

So I started with Fat-Burning Cardio... *sigh* I'ma try to follow the daily schedule for a month. If I suddenly stop posting, no worries, I'm just traveling to Cali to bite him.

Good Night!

It's all the way liiiiive....

2008-08-04T17:46:00.005-05:00

Hey, hey.... well today is Day one of the Live for 5 August challenge I am participating in with Culinary Healing and I'm excited, though I haven't had much of an appetite today! I know, weird... you'd think I'd be ravenous. At any rate, I took the 2 tbsps of flu buster tonic (oh my sweet Jesus does it have some kick to it!) this morning at rise and I had a glass of fresh-squeezed OJ not too long behind it with a pint of water. For lunch, I had some cucumber soup... I loooove me some cucumbers. But I had to put a lil extra salt and lime juice on it cause well, that's the way I am used to eating my cucumbers. *blush* I am sippin on some water now... been soaking my almonds all day while gone to make almond milk when I get home... excited to know what that's gonna taste like. I plan to make the creamy carrot soup for dinner... but we'll see how up to it I feel when I get off work... I may just do my workout and hit the hay.

In the AM... I am gonna do another salt water flush pre-flu buster to see if I can knock this bloated feelin that has arrived with Aunt Flo's visit... hopefully she's not irritating anything with all the cleansing I been doing. Ya'll know she likes to turn stuff upside down. :)

Me... first.

2008-08-01T19:16:00.002-05:00

My little boy is still awesome... and growing like a lil beautiful flower and keeps me filled with so much joy. Work is great, a little busy but great still the same. (I switched to the non-profit sector several months back and it was the best conscious decision I could have made... because it has brought me full circle, I feel.) I am finally loc'd! Yes!! Yesterday was my 2-month anniversary. I am wrapping up my master cleanse in a couple days and then venturing into a LIQUID live foods fast for five days. Today, if my energy can get up there, I'm going back to Turbo Jam. I originally was plannin to switch to Hip Hop Abs but um, Shaun T kinda scares me. lol

OK, no but for real I'M BACK. If I seem like I slip again, slap me. :-)

sings I'm soooorrry. Sooooo sorrry.

2008-05-05T08:58:00.002-05:00

OK, ya'll. So, I know it's been seven months since my last confession, er blog post... and I apologize profusely. I had a child in June of 2007 and I am not ashamed to say that everything was put on hold because not only did about the most unprepared person have a baby then, but she was a book-reading fool the whole while to make sure he didn't suffocate in his crib, choke on his first finger food or develop an extended diaper rash. Whew... children are lots of work and he JUST started walking. I can only imagine what kinda stories I will have to come.

At any rate, I woke up this morning feeling like my old determined self and I will get back on my square. I don't need to promise you... but I DO promise myself. The weather is nice too? Awww shoot. It is time. I called NETA this morning and got an extension to certify for aerobic training. I have to take it by November though or I lose it. Thanks Emily! (Emily is the customer service rep who helped me out. I still have my book and all my study materials. Why should I continue to limit myself?

That's also something you should ask yourself? Are you limiting YOURSELF? How? Most importantly, what actions will you take to STOP LIMITING YOURSELF?

You can really answer the question if you're still with me. I promise (myself) I will be back.

How Much Will I Weigh Today!?

2007-10-19T00:56:00.000-05:00

I face the scale in 8 hours. I need to have my booty in bed. I have really pushed my body this week with a perfect combo of toning and cardio w/o overdoing it for four consecutive days. I have also tracked my POINTS to a tee online even swapping out for activity. So I am interested to see what the scale has to say.

I am excited b/c Sunday I am participating in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. It's a five-mile non-competitive walk that I try to do annually to support the women in my family who perished from the disease. I won't be speed walkin, but I will turn on the "active" mode of my pedo. Gainin Activity POINTS for a cure, baybee. :)

I'm excited. Gotta get up bright and early... have yet to decide if I'm gonna take RJ in the stroller and make a morning out of it. Guess it depends on the weather. My gidget says it's supposed to be sunny and 76... so it might be nice to make a morning out of it. We'll both be hungry by the time I'm done. lol

OK, I should take my bottom to bed. My after workout euphoric state is crashing, so I can go to bed successfully now w/o the JITTERS! I am proud to announce that Turbo Sculpt w/ 5lb weights is starting to get easy. Soon, it will be time to toggle b/t 5 and 8 lbs... perhaps in a week or so. It's been a while since I strength trained, so I am back to basics for real. But, we all must start somewhere, right?

"Good byyye. I mean, good niiiight."

(500 points to anyone who can tell me where that quote is from. lol)

Shrinkage and Sore Abs

2007-10-17T13:26:00.000-05:00

OK, so my abs hurt when I cough or laugh. This is an unpleasant little trophy that I am doing something right down there. I was looking at how long my hair is when stretched. That's one of the cool, frustrating things about black natural hair... it SHRINKS like a mofo. I've seen some sistahs with hair that drapes their neck that can stretch to their BRA STRAP. I will be doing comparison shots as I go along this journey to see the difference in stretching lengths... for snaps and giggles.

Back to Ab Jam tonight... along with a lil Cardio Party 2.

2007-10-16T10:28:00.000-05:00

So, I am in love with my hair. Who knew it would take a hairdo to really cement what I had been telling people for four years!?

The picture on the right is my hair close-up. Are you my hair twin? My texture can be a bia, but I love it the same. The pic is at 2.5 weeks. I love how the tips of my braids have coiled into each other. I will post a pic of them the first day I got them done and you can see how the ends were puffy. The pic on the left is my hair today at officially three weeks. I must say my hair still looks great to me. I was originally going to keep these in for 6 weeks, but as I look at my braids, I am not quite sure that will work. While Trina would be ecstatic, I am not quite ready to loc my hair. Don't know if I will ever be seeing as how with this PSC (protective style challenge) through spring I am too geeked to see my BAA (big ass afro) come summer. :)

At any rate, in other updates the mister seems to be finally on board with getting in shape as well. Not that he really needs it, since ya'll know they could eat a whole cow and not gain nearly as much as we do, but I digress. We went to do some running this past weekend and stopped to get some workout equipment and some vitamins for us. I picked up some GNC Healthy Skin, Hair and Nail vitamins. They contain Biotin (which I have read on more than one occasion is good for healthy growth of all three). After following up with my midwife (yes, I still use my midwife as my PCP for gynecological services so what!) making sure it was safe for me to take while nursing, I started taking them today in addition to my daily vitamin.

My hair and skin are doing pretty well as is right now, I drink a LOT of water daily and I think that in addition to the exercise and fresh produce is playing a strong role. But the vitamin couldn't hurt right? In addition, I am soaking off my gel overlay over my natural nail and seeing what the vitamin can do for those. I will have them cut down some b/c after removing the gel the nail bed is left weak and I am on a computer about 10 hours out of a day -- at least. Not that I ever left much, but I am returning to the true au natural state that is me. I loooove having longer nails, they make my hands look so much more feminine but I don't want to be dependent on the gel and it will cut down on my monthly costs considerably getting manicures instead of fill-ins with my pedicure. :)

As you can see, my ticker says I am down 6.6 pounds as of Friday's weigh in. Loves that. And I am 10 pounds shy of hitting my 10% goal of weight loss. It's all quite exciting. I am resuming Turbo Jam this week. Again shooting for 5 straight days of activity. Yesterday, I did Ab Jam and 20-Minute. A nice start to the week after some days off over the weekend.

My goal in the next two-to-three weeks is to BUTTON my fave jean. They currently slide up, but buttoning not so much. lol

OK, a longer than normal post as an update. I'm gonna try to do better at updating this thing everyday -- like a REAL journal of sorts.

Mas, Mas, Weightloss!

2007-10-12T10:06:00.000-05:00

*laughs like The Count from Sesame Street*

I was down 1.8 at my WI this morning *Eddie Murphy Cabbage Patch*. In general, I would LOVE to lose at least two pounds a week so this is great for me. I am still nursing so it's really not recommended I lose more than that a week anyhow. Too quick weight loss could result is loss of milk production and we don't want that just yet. In 8 months, milk can dry up like the Sahara for all I care, but not sooner. Soon, RJ will be eating solids in addition though, and I am supposed to recalculate my POINTS based on how much I am nursing... however, when he's eating solids, I'll be pumping for storage, so it's still considered pumping. I'll work it out I'm sure. But I gots me 5 lb star... TOLD YOU I WOULD!

Ohhhh yeaaaah!

Challenges, Box Braids, and Letting Go to Let God...

2007-10-05T17:49:00.000-05:00

I am well on my way to the Promise Land.

In addition, I have been tracking everything all day today both on paper and online and am well w/in my range. I decided to let my body rest some today since I did big sets of cardio and strength yesterday. I usually do a smaller set of cardio on strength days but I needed to blow off some steam so before I knew it I was doing something crazy.

Emotionally, I am not in the best place, but it makes me happy to know that I am dealing with those emotions in a positive way vs. eating up any and everything. I am apart of a "Biggest Loser" challenge in an online community and it's a bit intense. In competitions I tend to get a little "Jillian-like" (Jillian is the new trainer of the black team on the Biggest Loser) and I am working on that. I've always been very competitive. Ever since I was a small child. Not in the sore loser kind of way, I didn't mind losing the few times I did ("Second is not an option”) but more so in the "I trained harder than you, I deserve more than you" kind of way. The thing about competitions though is that they are big on teamwork and that teamwork aspect of the BL TV show is that they are all always in constant communication with the others...living on the same campus. It's hard to recreate that same atmosphere online of all places. We don't have trainers making sure we get up and go, so everything is basically you're accountable for your own actions. SO, because of this it would only be right to have completely fair moderators over the whole shebang. Not so much since this competition began and it made me want to work harder to make sure my team puts up impressive numbers... but already, I see that the enthuuuusiasm has dwindled to a little yawn vs. a big roar! Did I mention I hate to lose? And when I bear witness to those kinda attitudes I want to go crazy on several someone’s.

And I wonder if this is all unhealthy for someone who is studying to be a personal trainer or if this is all NECESSARY for someone who is studying to be a personal trainer. I really don't know. I do know that I am passionate about healthy living and being our healthiest selves and that I can communicate that in person much better than I ever could online via message boards.

I've been in and out of moods lately... I'm not quite sure what my deal is, but I have way too much on my mind. I have been studying and trying to make myself a better person. I have to learn to pray in difficult times to overcome the adversity of an argument so that my words aren't tear-filled and overly emotional. But it's something that's not going to change about me overnight. I do need to continue doing what I'm doing though: studying, building my faith, my knowledge, believing I can make myself better and achieve my goals and leave the worrying to my God.

In the meantime, I enter week 2 of box braids (love them!) and I weighed in today for wonderful news. I was down 2.4 pounds for a total of 4.8. :D My body isn't looking much different. I think that's because pregnancy has changed my shape. But I can't worry about that now. I have begun... to arrive. I will admire the finished product when it makes debut.

From the Root to the Toot

2007-09-23T08:54:00.000-05:00

I have so many tiny goals to achieve it can sometimes seem a bit overwhelming. I have one main goal: to become and remain a healthy, happier me inside out... that includes my roots.

I have been a happy nappy girl for four years now and just this year really decided to take my mane serious. I am focused on getting it to it's healthiest self and retaining length.

For the past three months (coincidentally how old my son is) I have been 90% protective styling my hair by usually getting a predominantly cornrowed hairstyle with a section (usually something bang-like) in two-strand twist. This leaves every strand of my hair protected from being manipulated for at least two weeks. I then let my hair breathe for a day or two (depending on my stylist's schedule) before I try either the same do with a twist or something new all together. Today, I am getting my first REAL set of box braids. I am so nervous because I don’t know what the outcome will be. I see sisters all the time pulling off this hairstyle with the greatest of ease and it's SO fly. But the one time I started to do them on my head it was looking ridiculous! Well, this time I am coming with enforcements: my stylist standing out of the blue corner at 4' 9" tall at a whopping 110 pounds. lol

It is no secret that I am not good at styling my own hair unless it's two-strand twists, which I really just started perfecting within the last year. I can also make myself a super duper fly chunky twist-out. But I want to unravel twists (because it is so easy to do) in a week for fabulous twist out results. The secret to retaining length I am learning is to keep your tresses conditioned, moisturized and protected. Protective styling like braids and twists, especially with the winter coming up, are a necessity to stop breakage and retain length. So, I am going to need to commit (there's that word again) to a system so that by spring, I can see some change not only on the scales, but in my mane as well. I just took my hair down yesterday and it's awesome how big/long my hair is getting. I know that is in large part to the protective styling (AKA being lazy) I have been doing since my sun was birthed into the world. So this fall, I am starting my first-ever hair care & protective style challenge to see what actually listening and paying attention to my hair can do. Wish me luck that I don't look crazy with box braids... I really want to conquer rocking this style as box braids take more work to undo than two-strands, so I am more likely to leave them in for longer than the week or two I leave in my twists. Also, it will afford me the chance to begin styling, trying pin-ups and what not so that I don't get bored.

I am still working on my daily schedule as I stated in the previous post and I am almost done once I get my hair routine(s) figured out and squeezed into the flow of things. October 2007 is truly going to kick off an amazing transformation for me from the roots of my head, to my spirituality, to my muscles... in other words the TRUE meaning of "mind, body and soul." Next fall, I will emerge a more beautiful, healthier, longer haired, butterfly from HEAD to TOE with a new job and lifestyle. I see it, and it's perfect.

My schedule. My plan. My life.

2007-09-21T11:30:00.000-05:00

I have been weighed in twice since my official return to Weight Watchers and I am down 3 pounds! The first weigh in, I gained nothing/lost nothing. This was more than perfect for me because I usually take a week or two to really get in the swing of things when committing to Weight Watchers. So today when I went in, I was ready. I had tracked about 40% of my meals, got in more than my daily water everyday and was active 3 days out of the week. I knew the scale would move downward, the question be how far down? The answer was an even 3 and I was ecstatic. Now this week (week three) is usually the week where I really start to get into my groove. I've got a whole new outlook on how to excel at this beautiful way of life... persistent, hard work. I can't get by with the half-assed way I used to do things. I must reach far beyond my goals.

My two main goals I really want to attain with recommitting myself to WW this time around (besides life membership) is to continuously see progression:

1. Don't miss a week -- at all.
(I looked at my old weight tracker books and saw how sometimes I wouldn't go for a week or two at a time. This is not the way to become a life member. Not at all.)
2. Do everything in my power to FOLLOW THE PROGRAM and avoid gains. In other words: LOSE LOSE LOSE.
(A plateau, while still not as sexy as losing is better than gaining. I am determined to lose SOMETHING every week. No gains. Full speed ahead, dammit.)

I have my pamphlet to be a team leader on my fridge along with an old picture of me in high school. Granted, I don't want to be as thin as I was in high school, my goal weight is actually 10-15 pounds more than that, but it gives me the "after" picture I am looking for.

The way I operate, the way I need to start to be successful at damn near everything I do needs, needs, needs to start with a plan. A schedule, if you will, for success. From my daily routine with life to the maintenance of my hair, I now understand I need a daily blueprint to follow. For life to be so short, it sure is busy. There aren't enough hours in a day, so one should spend her time making the better of every one of them.

From my religious studying, to family time & home life, to work, to fitness and my healthier lifestyle, to my hair, everything needs it's own little commitment in my days and weeks for it all to emerge victorious. My goal for the rest of September is to get my schedule -- for each of the important things that comprise what is my life -- in order for continued, visual success in the future months to come.

It would be nice to at least be at my 10% target before year's end: exactly 14 pounds for 14 more weeks/weigh-ins. (The goal would actually be to be MORE than my 10% but since I am nursing, a pound a week, every week for the rest of this year would put me at my 10% at a healthy pace without sabotaging my milk production, but you know what I mean!)

60% Mental 40% Physical.

2007-09-10T23:57:00.000-05:00

So, I found and accepted a different job (part time) during my maternity leave and told my previous employer to kick rocks. And I am settling into my fourth week of work of the new gig. I like it. I'm a marketing/office manager for a much smaller company and it's working out very well.

Speaking of working out... I have not been. After like my first week of work, I went to pick out (i.e., shop for) a few choice items at a couple of my favorite stores and they were four dress sizes larger than what I was last year this time. :-/ Needless to say, I didn't buy everything I wanted... my pride wouldn't let me.

I originally wanted to be 14 pounds lighter by next week, seven weeks ago. This really isn't going to happen. Since this is absolutely not going to happen (I've actually gained some weight since I let the cookie fetish WIN once I got back to work and cooking daily starting to dwindle) I've got to start anew... really getting on my game.

Not only do I need to get on the ball with my certifications, but also I simply must just GET in gear. And I have finally admitted to myself that I need help... accountability. SO, Friday, I got up at my normal time and went to a WW meeting before I went in to work. Yep, I signed up again. This time it was for the monthly pass that includes FREE eTools (that makes me happy, I loved eTools but not enough to pay $12 a month or whatever it was for it). As usual, it's taken me a few days to get into the swing of things.

But today, I finally got my water intake and I took a vitamin after forgetting to do so for two days in a row. I also, after not being able to crawl out of bed this morning because RJ was irritable and wouldn't let me go very far, worked out to my step DVD. Erm, for 17 minutes. *sigh* The DVD was 30 minutes long. I felt flushed and hot and my thighs were stinging in 17 minutes. Finally RJ started whining in his bouncer chair and I used it as an excuse to stop. I probably could have finished, but man, it was a mess.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like a complete novice loser -- NOT that people who just get on the ball are losers. That is totally NOT what I meant but for ME, I am in a slump. Any who, this feeling is something I hadn't felt since I first decided to get back on the ball and take charge of my health/weight in Summer 2003. The first time I remembered I used to be a dual athlete in high school and tip-top shape. The first time (since that one time in college) that I went to a floor aerobics class and was sweating like a faucet. It left me breathing like my lungs were on fire.

I feel it in my body when I walk around the house. Things jiggling cause they have lost their muscle tone and it kind of depresses me. I know I have a beautiful excuse, who lays next to me sleeping as I type... but it's still a little hump to get over. But today, I no longer live in the dark. I accept the fact that while I am still fabulous, there is work to do. No more pretending it's not happening. I have to take control before it gets outta whack. I have to start being accountable for my actions. Weight Watchers helps me do that. They WATCH me. I have however, decided that I am going to get a note from Sandy (my nurse gyno) saying what weight is a healthy for me. While Weight Watchers wants me to be 135, I think that's a bit too small for me. So my LM goal will be 145. As of my weigh in Friday, that's 33.6 pounds AKA the weight I was a mere last summer. It's so amazing how fast it can come back without paying attention.

This blog is my first step at not only being more accountable for myself, but also as a great marketing tool (of some sort) for my fitness business. I will be on the scale once a week. The OFFICIAL scale... watching it decrease and resuming the life I once loved but with an adorable addition -- my family.