"Independence"

"Girl I didn't know you could get down like that"
~ "Independent Ladies" Destiny's Child

So as I rub on my flat(ter) full stomach sitting on my couch watching old school cartoons on Boomerang... I must admit, I feel great. I just had my breakfast (egg white omelette with fresh spinach, minced garlic and topped with soy cheese, 1/2-cup brown rice and a cup of sliced strawberries), I'm sippin on my liter of water, and just feeling... great. On this Independence Day, I am inspired -- with all it's great meaning -- to celebrate my own independence from the lifestyle that once had me so shackled I thought it was normal. I stare at the picture of me that I found from 1996... looking back at me was this fit, happy teenager with a body to d-i-e for. She loved to workout, her shoulders were fabulous and her gluteus maximus was propped up like it was holstered by buff boys... oooh wee! lol I was prolly a good 125 lbs on that picture and a size 7/8. (I told ya'll I've always been a muscular, stocky lil something... that weight on my height is usually like a size 4... but anywho..)

I will never have that exact body again, besides having five more body arts, more stretch marks and cellulite, my body has morphed some by gaining different muscles in places I didn't have them before (I didn't do a lot of strength exercise then, just cardio with all the basketball and track and field practice). SO when I emerge a new 13-year older butterfly my body will be different, but maybe -- just maybe -- even better. I'll have filled out some and be muscular vs just thin.

Last night I went out with my sisters to a comedy show and didn't drink. I'd mentioned to my homegirl that I was not going to drink until I hit goal. I realize this is a difficult task to accomplish, so I modified it a bit to drink in moderation. Afterall, if I am ever going to prove I can maintain my weight, I will need to show myself that I can act right when tempted.. drinks, fatty foods, I will need to be able to control myself in these situations. So it made me feel truly ecstatic that I was out with my girls with everything feeling like normal but for this evening I decided NOT to partake. They all were looking at me a lil sideways because it's unnatural for me not to imbibe, lol, but they will have to get used to the new healthier choices me. Sometimes she will drink and IF she does, it will be an alcohol with a low-to-no calorie mixer (i.e., seltzer) or a glass of wine ... something I can account for. So, I will moderate my alcoholic consumption when I choose to drink, which won't be often, but I will not drink any juice or pops. I will stick to crystal light and water. If I choose to have whiskey (which I do often) I will drink it straight... no Coke and only in moderation. This is more feasible than trying to set myself up to fail. Yanno?

Anywho, I am feeling absolutely great today and I just wanted to share with you... what are you independent from today?

Time for Some Answers!

These are questions asked of me in one of my Spark challenges... and they really made me contemplate. Doing so gives perspective to how I am going to address my health and wellness in the future... and I want to share them with you.

1.Why am I overweight?
I am overweight... because I didn't keep my consistency when my life changed. I came to Chicago fit(ter) and well. I was 154 lbs and even though statistically I had some weight to lose, I felt great in my clothes (most days) and I was strong and lean(er). I immediately found a gym that I loved and was working out on a consistent basis. In March of 2006, I reunited with my first love. Happy, joyous occasion but one that came with a different life than the one I was used to. We soon moved in together (my first and only cohabitation with a partner) and there were fun nights of boxing and football and lovemaking, there were cocktails and nights on the town, eating out at restaurants and before we both knew it, we were toppling the scales over. In September of 2006, we were blessed to conceive a child. By then, I was approximately 175 pounds (my current weight). I gained 22 pounds with my pregnancy, lost it immediately thanks to breast feeding and have just been stagnant since due to laze and inactivity.

2.Why do I want to lose weight?
I want to lose weight because I am an athlete. Her body is hidden, but my strength and drive and competitive nature and love of physical fitness and activity are still very much abundant and important to me. I want to prove to myself that I can be my own AFTER. I want to show and prove to self that the dual (track and basketball) athlete still lives inside of me. I want to lose weight because I have aerobics classes to resume teaching. I have a personal training certificate to obtain. I have a sun to raise and be around for his games, recitals, accomplishments. I want to feel like myself again AND live the life I love with my family. I want it to look just like it does now, but with me in smaller pants, consistently making better food choices and having an active, lovely, healthy lifestyle.

3.Why haven't I maintained weight loss before?
I cancelled my gym membership when the fee increased, didn't find an alternative like I SAID I would, ate whatever I wanted, and drank whatever I wanted to drink and thought I was happy doing so. But I'd lost myself there. It's only by the grace of God, I've not gained more weight but "maintained" this (over)weight. I know my health had a lot to do with it too... I have (thank the Lord) always been the picture of health, no heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, nothing... and I figured, well hey, I'm healthy, I'm still cute... what's the problem? But I want my real body back. And now that I know what NOT to do, the sky is my limit..

Thanks Hot 2 Trot girls... our Leader ANEWAMANDA has really done a great job rounding us up... I can't wait to see how we all emerge from this challenge with all the hard work we're putting in.

H2T!! H2T!! H2T!! H2T!! :)