I am well on my way to the Promise Land.
In addition, I have been tracking everything all day today both on paper and online and am well w/in my range. I decided to let my body rest some today since I did big sets of cardio and strength yesterday. I usually do a smaller set of cardio on strength days but I needed to blow off some steam so before I knew it I was doing something crazy.
Emotionally, I am not in the best place, but it makes me happy to know that I am dealing with those emotions in a positive way vs. eating up any and everything. I am apart of a "Biggest Loser" challenge in an online community and it's a bit intense. In competitions I tend to get a little "Jillian-like" (Jillian is the new trainer of the black team on the Biggest Loser) and I am working on that. I've always been very competitive. Ever since I was a small child. Not in the sore loser kind of way, I didn't mind losing the few times I did ("Second is not an option”) but more so in the "I trained harder than you, I deserve more than you" kind of way. The thing about competitions though is that they are big on teamwork and that teamwork aspect of the BL TV show is that they are all always in constant communication with the others...living on the same campus. It's hard to recreate that same atmosphere online of all places. We don't have trainers making sure we get up and go, so everything is basically you're accountable for your own actions. SO, because of this it would only be right to have completely fair moderators over the whole shebang. Not so much since this competition began and it made me want to work harder to make sure my team puts up impressive numbers... but already, I see that the enthuuuusiasm has dwindled to a little yawn vs. a big roar! Did I mention I hate to lose? And when I bear witness to those kinda attitudes I want to go crazy on several someone’s.
And I wonder if this is all unhealthy for someone who is studying to be a personal trainer or if this is all NECESSARY for someone who is studying to be a personal trainer. I really don't know. I do know that I am passionate about healthy living and being our healthiest selves and that I can communicate that in person much better than I ever could online via message boards.
I've been in and out of moods lately... I'm not quite sure what my deal is, but I have way too much on my mind. I have been studying and trying to make myself a better person. I have to learn to pray in difficult times to overcome the adversity of an argument so that my words aren't tear-filled and overly emotional. But it's something that's not going to change about me overnight. I do need to continue doing what I'm doing though: studying, building my faith, my knowledge, believing I can make myself better and achieve my goals and leave the worrying to my God.
In the meantime, I enter week 2 of box braids (love them!) and I weighed in today for wonderful news. I was down 2.4 pounds for a total of 4.8. :D My body isn't looking much different. I think that's because pregnancy has changed my shape. But I can't worry about that now. I have begun... to arrive. I will admire the finished product when it makes debut.
