H-A-Double U-A-Eye-Eye!

"Ma$e can you please stop smokin La La? Puff why try, I'ma thug I'ma die high!"

Exactly 3 months till the honey and I venture to the islands of Hawaii for his 30th Bday and my MISSION is to be 20 lbs lighter. I often frown on deadline-oriented goals. Because even though they are effective, they can be damaging because people put back on the pounds directly after they are done traveling, with the engagement, ceremony or whatever special occasion it is. (I will NOT be one of those people.... no, but forreal. If anything this trip is just what I needed to get serious.)

The Y had a special on summer memberships again, so I got in on that. $25 a month for the family and I to use any Y in the Metro Chicago area. I will be focusing on 10,000 steps a day, a morning workout via Chalene Extreme (starting Sunday morning), lunchtime workouts that started this week, evening strolls with my Soror and our youth on Mondays and Wednesdays (resuming next week, the weather has sucked this week - Midwest-like "tornado" yesterday and all) and a couple evening workouts at my neighborhood Y on lighter days. In all 6 days of working out, but one is more Tai Chi/Yoga/Stretch related so it's really a "rest day" too. I wrote it all out yesterday. In addition, I will still be following the good health guidelines of WW.. no fad diets for me. I will also be participating in a couple Mommy and Me classes they offer with my sun. Gymnstics and Kiddie Groove to name a couple!

All that being said, my MISSION is 20 lbs but I will be more than satisfied with 12-16 (you know weight loss is a strange beast) but I'm confident 20 won't be too far a stretch. In addition, in Hawaii, I WILL be 1. wearing bikinis (I've already started to look for them because this will make sure I don't overeat; can't be walking round Hawaii with a big ol gut!) 2. doing activities that don't just involve lying on the beach (I've already purchased a hiking excursion, debating on another because it takes a great part of one day away from us... but it has waterfalls!) and 3. using the fitness center. Plus 4. enjoying in-room activities.

Super excited. I've never been to Hawaii before... and I hear it's expensive, but well worth the visit. We'll both be 30, it's time to start living life and enjoying all its blessings. Right, bra? (a lil Hawaii slang... just cuz!)

The storm is over now... let some sunshine in.

Get On My Level

"Water seeks its own level." ~ExH.I.T.

Greetings and Salutations! (I've always wanted to "say" that... not sure why.) I come to you a very content woman today as I progress in all facets. Officially 10 pounds lighter, I now can really feel like I am taking steps in the right direction of where my place in this life is going. I am pleased to be making adjustments and doing daily work with someone on my level.

Working as a team is pretty OK, I'm learning... doing away with the selfishness of the past and moving toward a future is healthy and progressive and, I'm learning, a lot of fun. It's nice to stop focusing on the small stuff, and entrust that to Jehovah that he will take care of it in his time, but to keep my mind focused on the big things and keep enjoying where I am in this space and time. I love it. Recently, the mister and I have started working out... together.

"The best way to enhance a relationship is to lead a healthy lifestyle -- as a couple." ~ Jillian (That Deal) Michaels (I adore Jillian... I may have a teeny girl crush on her... teeny.)

It's different and liberating for me to have gone back to leading a healthy lifestyle while in a life with someone... before I've always done it when I kick someone to the curb, get my sexy back as a single girl... then get in a relationship and lose myself in him with date nights, alcohol-infused functions, lazy Saturdays and just being in love and happily fat and all that... so it was nice to get the gumption to return to WW while in a couple, and then see him take an interest in getting himself back young and fit as well. Very cool stuff. Of course now, that adds a bit of pressure for me because EVERYBODY knows men lose weight much faster than we do, so I would be lying if I didn't say, he pushes me because when I want to have a honey bun for breakfast and he chooses Total, I get back on my mental ya dig. Granted, neither of us is (fortunately) anywhere close to being like a gastric candidate or anything, but it's amazing just the energy you get back from doing just a little bit more than you did last week, yesterday... and the different things you have energy for and how it enhances you.

"When you're feeling strong and confident, you also feel a lot sexier—and that'll boost your sex life." ~J. Michaels

I have been getting the baby itch lately... my poor sun wants to see his friends, his cousins, anyone he can to play with... but I cannot, will not, enter into another pregnancy overweight (or unmarried for that matter but mostly overweight) because I just can't keep doing this back and forth anymore with my health. I've got to prove to myself that I AM in control of my own body.
"Make a woman feel like she's the hottest, most feminine person in the world and she'll love you..." I like that one Jillian... to the same effect as women, doing the work to make ourselves healthier and feeling inside that will exude that femininity, brew that sexiness, and we will (more importantly) love OURSELVES... I love myself you guys!!!

I know and understand that there's ways to enjoy life and the things I want in a pair without sacrificing my temple ANY longer. It's just... nice... sure it has it's scary parts and plot twists here and there, but watching the "fairytale" unfold is definitely making me a lot more level-headed.

Photo Source: http://www.geo.uu.nl/fg/palaeogeography/pictures/results_fluvialstyle/02_Meanderende_rivier.jpg

Take (Self) Care

(Editor's Note: I'm coming off two weeks of very little/sporadic rest, strep throat, a missed budget, and lots of work...)

So yesterday I walked past my mirror and caught a glimpse of myself... I was not pleased. Not only did my skin look blah and drab, but my hair looked dry and I looked fat (yet happy -- like literally, I was walking past singing a song very loudly and with a smile on my face, saw myself and my smile faded)... life has been really good as of late, yet my body shows a different story. So, I took a vow (didn't I already DO that??) to do better.

Money can be soooo tight sometimes, I often forget to take care of myself. After that mirror glimpse it dawned on me that in recent months, I stopped getting my regular mani/pedis, I'd went several more weeks than my normal four for retwisting my roots, I hadn't gotten my eyebrow maintenance, I'd put on a few pounds, I wasn't drinking much water, I hadn't washed my truck in Jehovah knows how long.... *sigh*

All very interesting seeing as how, I'm -- well I was -- the girl who wouldn't go so much as to the grocery store without making sure I was on the top of my game... maybe not stilettos and booty jeans for a store run but definitely cognisant of looking good and feeling my best. I haven't done that lately. Today, my sweetheart treated my car to a carwash. He called me and asked me to meet him there where he was getting his car done and grateful to not have it looking a mess, I immediately went. Throwing on an old pair of Adidas to top off my black lounge pants, I wrapped myself in muh black bubble Eddie Bauer and tied up my scarf... and headed out.

I got there and after we'd both finally got in, I went to sit next to him. In walks the chick that used to be me, dressed to impress even if only to go to the car wash. And I started to think.... what the HECK has happened to me?? I can't even blame it on being a mommy, cause as we all should by know, I've always deemed myself MILF status ever since I was good and pregnant.... but I've allowed my weight to literally control my mood. I'm not imaginative with my work wardrobe anymore... just kinda go with the flow. Since I'm on my feet all day, I avoid wearing heels often... I gave lots and lots of my shoes away to charity because I was originally to buy a bus load more... never happened... so, I went to buy some clothes for myself to give myself a boost in the right direction today... nothing huge, just a bit of retail therapy for my mood that matches my skin.

Ladies, have you been there before? In that spot where you just don't feel like yourself? How did you fix the problem? Or was it just an issue for the moment? I mean, really, sometimes I'm so bored and want to go out, but don't feel I look right in ANYTHING I put on. I used to know I was the hottest thing on my King's arm, lately I wonder if I don't get invited to something is it because he thinks I look drab too. lol... I laugh cause I'm serious.

I recently wrote a blog about us (ladies) not losing sight of ourselves in order to do our part to keep The Black Family strong and the excitement in our relationships.

In gist, I'm not feeling my normal overly confident self and I hate it... and I know it's something serious because I'm not even bleeding and I feel this way... for my guy readers, that means it's not the PMS talking. So consider this my two weeks notice. I'm going to start looking how I feel (which is really a whole other story in itself, does that mean when I was looking my very best I was secretly masking being unhappy?? Lawd... so many unanswered questions!) and taking charge of myself in the best of times and the worst of times...

Brings me back to the discussion (can't find the link) about how I am most motivated to lose weight and stay in shape when I am single and looking... ridiculous. I'm not announcing it to the world or anything, but I've got to get it together... I'm on it. No, seriously. It's time to be a little bit selfish.... cause how can I be the best mom and woman if I don't take care of myself first? I'm pretty dope at both now, so just imagine if I looked and felt I looked my best. I'm just adding some perspective... for myself.

Sometimes it's useful to be a little selfish and introspective otherwise you may just find yourself living someone else's life, achieving someone else's dreams or driving down a road with no destination or end game. ~ The Ripple Effect (Blog)

Photo Sources: http://www.wellspouse.org
http://rainbow120.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/self-esteem-training.jpg

Gotta Keep on Keepin On..

My life is hella funny.

The things I care about most seem to never be aligned at the same time, or if they are, for very long.

I dunno why that is... but I can't dwell on it either. You know? Like I can't wallow. I can't beg and plead for it to act right... I can only count on me.

I can't believe it's October. September ran right by. And I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to either.

During that month (my previous post) I touched on how my life was about to experience a lot of change, for the better. I started a new job (which I love) and had a lot of training (that hasn't yet ended) and trips and long days. My sun started school and that was a whole new experience for me. And then you throw in family life and trying to keep a house together... oy. My finances are still QUITE problematic, as I play catch-up and "oh man, I really can't pay that" lol but I am hoping things will turn around sooner than later. But don't get me wrong, it's very nice to have a steady paycheck coming in... starting this Thursday.

Work was a bit frustrating because NONE of my equipment was showing up. I just got an email last week. But still don't have my Blackberry, which will help organize my life.. a LOT. My Outlook calendar will be a busy, fun mess! But I need my stuff. I feel so... incomplete. I hope to be able to stop by the office in the a.m. on my way out to yet more training to pick it up, but we shall see. But I am truly, truly ready to have control again... I just don't know why I can't have it right now. I was doing SO well before my knee blew out. I am determined to get back there with more on my daily schedule. A truly committed person can make it work with a full day or nothing on her calendar at all. I gotta find my game face!

I've gotta stop procrastinating!

Like today, I've sat around all day. Had an emotional argument, break down, followed by complete confidence/dismissive attitude and then did NOTHING for the rest of the day. Didn't get our clothes ironed laid out, no lunches made, and now it's 10:37 CST. WTF..

I have GOT to do betta. Or I am just gonna continue to .... flail.

I need to be packing a lunch, EVERYDAY. This way I won't be eating whatever, in a rush. Granted when out of town or in training this is hard, because the meals are planned for me... but still. Where there is a plan, there is a will to win.

Furthermore, my whole job is based on making my own schedule, filling my own calendar. I am normally very organized... I just need to stop bullshitting... yes. There. I said it.

I know that I can DO it... no matta WHAT my day looks like. I CAN make good choices.. live my life, but in a healthy fashion, following my healthy lifestyle.

My team captain said it best: "I have the choice what I do with my spare 30 minutes. I have the choice what I put in my mouth. I have the choice how I react to stressful situations or emotions that arise. I am in control of my health."

(Oh ee oh, dancin in) September Epiphany

Well hello there! I'm still here... feelin fat and what not.

I've been on a celebratory binge to enjoy getting a job offer on Friday. In RETROSPECT, I did it a lot more controlled than I normally would. So for that, I am proud of myself. But I'm really trying to get back to business as usual.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna try out a run. On my knee. Pray for me.

This will be a very busy week for me planning meals, getting together a schedule I'm comfortable with, researching a YMCA near my (new) job for lunchtime workouts, getting a cooler for my car to house my food and snacks for the day, researching day cares and the like... it's cool cause for the first time in a long time, I find myself pulling out a gym bag from the storage area for lunchtime workouts... This is going to work, pun intended.

With September upon me... I must focus. I think getting a schedule about my day will help immensely. Now if only my (new) supervisor would call me about the lunch date we're supposed to have to discuss particulars. I'm too excited about this opportunity for it to fall through now... soooo... come on. I'll call him in the morning to see if we're still on.

In the meantime, I have two other day cares to check out tomorrow. Hopefully, will be able to make my choice by Friday.

I'm really, really excited about all that's going on... and I feel really good about the progress I'll make. Before when I wasn't working, working out was my sanctuary and then it was taken from me with the knee stuff... but now it will be an addition to my actual LIFE. Hopefully... oyee... call me back! haha

30 x 30 Challenge
So today is the first of my favorite month ~ September. I adore fall... and it is the welcome to it. I am determined to center my chi and focus to drop (not lose, because when you lose things you ultimately find them) 30 pounds to my goal weight. Exactly 19 weeks to my 30th birthday. And I have a plan in mind... I wish I could stay in reflective mode ALL DAY because that is when I am my best. I really miss my runs, so I AM going to get up in the morning and give one a good old try.. and pray like hell it doesn't hurt or irk.

SO.. I'm gonna keep it to 1200-1350 calories.. I'm going to see about getting through the months of September with no red meat or pork and no more than 4 oz of meat a day. Lots of fruit and veggies.

A (hopeful) C25K run 3 times a week.

Strength training through Chalene Extreme... MUST get through this 3-month program.

When all is said and done... my goals will come into existence but I definitely need to:

1. Stop getting down on myself when I do slip.
2. Turn every negative into a positive until the negatives disappear.
3. BELIEVE in myself.
4. Learn how to control my impulses and celebrations.

Through a steady routine of running and strength training... I must emerge.

I'm tired ya'll... tired of not living to my potential. Tired of not being the size I'm supposed to be... the health I deserve... the energy I need... but I can't continue to talk about it. In fact... I'm tired of that too. It's time for action. And I know I have had epiphany's before... or thought I did... but I'm seriously done... talking.

Time for some action.

This September of 2009 is the beginning of my new life, a healthier life with my sun, my love and working hard for the things I want to keep me grounded.

Time for some action.

UPDATE BLOG: Are you hurt? Or are you injured?

Hey! I'm still here! :)

"Are you hurt, or are you injured?"
"What's the difference, coach?"
"If you're hurt you can play, if you're injured..."
~ "Coach Winters" in The Program

Well after a few frustrating days of not being able to see my doctor or schedule an appointment, I decided to show up today on a morning I knew she was scheduled to be in a different office to walk-in and see a new primary care physician. He saw me and my knee and even though the "treatment" of it is spanned out over four weeks, I'm happy that the ball is even rolling. Because it definitely wasn't getting better with R.I.C.E.ing.

So he prescribed me some stronger ibuprofen than what I have in the cabinet and scheduled me for an MRI for the first appt I could get (8/25) saying that hopefully the ibuprofen will start to help the swelling before then. There's like a little bubble of ... something... sitting inside the left side of my left kneecap. And then I follow up with him on 9/8 (the soonest we could meet b/c he's goin on vacay for two weeks and since I just kinda deciced to switch to him as my primary care... he was originally gonna have me see my old physician and I declined. Who knows, maybe a lil ibuprofen inflammatory twice a day (I would never think to take that much ibuprofen in a day) might actually help a ton and by the time I see him he'll have even better news for me.) In the meantime, I'll wait. It severely throws off my timetable, but I'm just gonna start getting in about 30 minutes of the elliptical three times a week... not too long, but enough to get something done. And possibly some swimming. (I don't like the upkeep of swimming with all the showering in the gym and swim caps and carrying on lol) and staying as flexible as possible in hopes to keep up my endurance so that when this is all said and done, I can pick up where I left off, repeating week 4 and moving on with my life. Hopefully that won't throw off my training for my 5K too much. It's still 11/1 so hopefully all will be well. I have high hopes.

As of this morning I'm doing best to follow the Fat Smash Detox as of this a.m. I have never been very successful doing this... why, I'm not sure especially when I have managed to Master Cleanse for several days in succession. So this time, especially since now my activity has severely decreased, I need to make sure I follow the eating "rules" to continue to be able to positively contribute to the challenge I'm in on Spark People. So far today, I've had a small something every couple hours. Banana for breakfast, strawberry protein smoothie (with a cup of real strawberries in addition to the strawberry mix) and then two veggie kebabs with zucchini, squash and yellow pepper. Very tasty. I am soaking my red beans to make vegetarian red beans and gonna make a big pot of brown rice for the "heavy" stuff. But keeping it predominantly veggies and fruits and actually gonna really stick to the guidelines of how you're to prepare them: steamed, raw or grilled. Wish me luck.

30 X 30 Challenge
Thanks to Allyn, a Spark buddy, I was motivated to SHED 30 pounds by our 30th bday. She's a Capricorn as well and our 30th bdays are in days of each other. It's ironic because I'd thought to strive for that before, but the impatient girl in me, really wanted to get it done MUCH sooner than that. But that is also how I have done in the past. I put a LOT of pressure on myself to meet these dates when, sensibly, it would be better to give myself more time, even if I don't need it. It's just the fair thing to do. I owe myself that. My birthday present to myself will be MAINTENANCE. lol

Well, actually, I am looking into a February Ski/Super Bowl trip to the Catskills as my belated present. But my real present is maintenance. :)

Good-bye "Good" Parts!
Even in all this madness, I have still managed to lose a nice amount of weight (even tho the doc's scale was like 4 lbs heavier than what my home scale says I am... oyeee... need a new scale, man) and I want to keep these results.

I really, truly... truly miss C25K. I had no idea I could enjoy running so much. It's very empowering. And I hope I can get back to it a lot sooner than later.

A little while ago, I wrote a blog about losing the "good parts" . I am proud to announce that those good parts are slimming on down. My tight skinny jeans... not so tight anymore. I am seeing the results of my work and it makes me feel so great.

I caught a glance at myself in the full-body mirror and while I AM trimming down the "good parts" I'm also toning them up and lifting thangs splendidly... and guess what? The man notice anyhow.

As I told BUTTA... the men are taking notice not only because our BODIES are changing but WE are changing. Our self-esteem grows with every workout we finish, every inch we lose and every muscle we gain. Yay for us.

In the meantime...
I finally bought my poster board. I am about to use my "down" time as a breather to get my collage done... I am excited about the project and can't wait to post pics.

Keep moving...

Weekly Reflection... Percentages... Injured Randomness...

So with weigh-in upon me... this day has been an energetic ride uphill... hard. I've been reflecting since I woke up from my late nap (6 p.m.) My food tracking has been kinda shady and sporadic the last couple days. And I got on the scale and saw a number I didn't appreciate despite seeing a number I appreciated yesterday. Now, because I know it's not always good to weigh yourself everyday, and ESPECIALLY not different times everyday, I wasn't trippin too much on the numbers/difference but it DID make me wonder about how truly committed to this I am. With a sore knee pickin at me since Tuesday, I've wondered about everything about it from it being a simple sprain that will fade with time to an injury that will be with me for the rest of my life. I immediately (in my world) was angry with myself because well, our knees suffer from the pressure of our body weight more than any other joint. And here I am 30 lbs heavier than I should be. Of course my poor knee is gonna whine. *sigh* Then I thought about my poor tracking.. knowing how important it is to journal food... how could I let this fall by the wayside? I want to be in MAINTENANCE MODE by the winter... how in the heck can I get there if I am not committed EVERYDAY?

So I started thinking, what percentage am I giving?

Anyone can log a thousand fitness minutes a week but if that person is still eating trash... the results will be less than stellar.

Likewise, if one is eating clean without any activity, you'll see the difference but muscle tone and strength and overall health are lessened...

These two are interchangeable... and once I really realize that, perhaps that is when I will really start to morph and see that. I have to learn to balance life, love and all that's in between for myself... to get to 100% committed. Nothing less than that will do. With that said, I've decided to start sharing my food trackers. Not that anyone will really read them, but knowing that someone might... perhaps that'll keep me accountable.

Blah... It seems I'm in a mood.

Blame the "injury"... reflections eternal.

August Attack

With a new month upon us (man, this year is really flying by... I'll be 30 before I know it) I thought it time to re-establish my goals and see what I am doing here. I want to be 165 by September 1. That's gonna take work, commitment, and will power. But I really know I can do it. Not only because I've done it before, but because well, I have to!

But this time is different. Not because it'll be the last time I ever have to make this dance (because believe me, it will be!) but because my body is different. As you know, I have a 2 y/o so I truly believe that my new after-baby body is a little more... stubborn to let the weight go. I need to be disciplined if I am going to persevere. As I've mentioned I am already redirecting my mindset to a healthier living. I just bought more brown rice instead of white and have all whole wheat pastas, breads... and I would have whole-wheat crackers but I wanna finish the Ritz I bought (which claim to be whole wheat but are less than 1g of fiber) quite irritating lol.

At any rate, I did well under my max calories first day of the month. I didn't workout today as planned deciding to take a rest day. I'll be up early for my morning run on the treadmill starting week 4. That's right... week 4! :) I've decided it's time to move forward. I still don't have new new-shoes but my new ones and I are meshing a lot better these days. So I'm gonna check it out and see what happens on those 5-minute intervals.

Day in... day out.
I need a routine for my routine. I have accepted the fact that adult life (hell, life in general) comes with a routine, but have not made the routine work for me to the best of it's ability. It is my ultimate goal to be blessed to wake up January 12 as an even more beautiful, 30-year-old, 140-lb woman, with beautiful teeth, hair, skin, nails and a muscular, toned defined runner's body. And I will. Because I always get what I want and work hard for.

Today began a series of events that is going to reshape me from head-to-toe.... inside out.

I finally, finally replenished my Hair, Skin and Nails vitamin but I went with a different brand. I kept missing GNC operation hours so decided to get it from Dominick's where I went to buy low-fat Coffee ice cream for my Mocha shake (167 cals) I made. (Thanks Weight Watchers cook books!) I also bought (because it was on sale) the Nivea body Good-bye Cellulite 30-Day Body Beauty Program.

I realize you can't get rid of cellulite but these creams and massages are supposed to decrease the appearance of it. Since I don't have a lot of cellulite (and because it was only $10) I thought it would be a cool monthly experiment. It also comes with a little dietary supplement of conjugated linoleic acid and L-Carnitine . So tomorrow I'm gonna take some pictures and see where that leads me come day 30. See if I notice any change or if I just donated $11 and some change to the Nivea fund. :) With this supplement, that will leave me taking 5 pills a day... oyeee... but it's worth it. Just imagine if I could take a pic of my insides? We could see the change over time... but we'll see it on the outside. We all know great health starts from the inside out. From the food we eat and water and nutrients we ingest, we transform our body on the outside with a little sweat of course.

Plan of Attack:
I have decided to go to NETA Fit Fest the second weekend of September to finally lock in the rest of my first re-certifications and get.it.done. By then, it is my hope to be as CLOSE to 160 as possible. Then I will immediately start looking for teaching jobs. Immediately. It is time.

Basic Schedule:
(It's a lot more detailed then this, but here's the public version)
Sunday
C25K 30 minute morning run training
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push Ups

Monday
60-90-minutes of cardio

Tuesday
C25K 30-minute morning run training
30-60 minutes of cardio
10 push ups

Wednesday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen

Thursday
C25K 30 minute morning training

Friday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push ups

Saturday
(rest)

Time for Some Answers!

These are questions asked of me in one of my Spark challenges... and they really made me contemplate. Doing so gives perspective to how I am going to address my health and wellness in the future... and I want to share them with you.

1.Why am I overweight?
I am overweight... because I didn't keep my consistency when my life changed. I came to Chicago fit(ter) and well. I was 154 lbs and even though statistically I had some weight to lose, I felt great in my clothes (most days) and I was strong and lean(er). I immediately found a gym that I loved and was working out on a consistent basis. In March of 2006, I reunited with my first love. Happy, joyous occasion but one that came with a different life than the one I was used to. We soon moved in together (my first and only cohabitation with a partner) and there were fun nights of boxing and football and lovemaking, there were cocktails and nights on the town, eating out at restaurants and before we both knew it, we were toppling the scales over. In September of 2006, we were blessed to conceive a child. By then, I was approximately 175 pounds (my current weight). I gained 22 pounds with my pregnancy, lost it immediately thanks to breast feeding and have just been stagnant since due to laze and inactivity.

2.Why do I want to lose weight?
I want to lose weight because I am an athlete. Her body is hidden, but my strength and drive and competitive nature and love of physical fitness and activity are still very much abundant and important to me. I want to prove to myself that I can be my own AFTER. I want to show and prove to self that the dual (track and basketball) athlete still lives inside of me. I want to lose weight because I have aerobics classes to resume teaching. I have a personal training certificate to obtain. I have a sun to raise and be around for his games, recitals, accomplishments. I want to feel like myself again AND live the life I love with my family. I want it to look just like it does now, but with me in smaller pants, consistently making better food choices and having an active, lovely, healthy lifestyle.

3.Why haven't I maintained weight loss before?
I cancelled my gym membership when the fee increased, didn't find an alternative like I SAID I would, ate whatever I wanted, and drank whatever I wanted to drink and thought I was happy doing so. But I'd lost myself there. It's only by the grace of God, I've not gained more weight but "maintained" this (over)weight. I know my health had a lot to do with it too... I have (thank the Lord) always been the picture of health, no heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, nothing... and I figured, well hey, I'm healthy, I'm still cute... what's the problem? But I want my real body back. And now that I know what NOT to do, the sky is my limit..

Thanks Hot 2 Trot girls... our Leader ANEWAMANDA has really done a great job rounding us up... I can't wait to see how we all emerge from this challenge with all the hard work we're putting in.

H2T!! H2T!! H2T!! H2T!! :)

I got off the couch...

to train for my first competitive 5K.

So, as you know, I've power walked 5Ks before in just under an hour but have always shied away from actually running one. OK, you probably actually did NOT know that... but now you do.

SO last night, while sitting around I decided to get off my couch and once again go to the site to learn how to train for a 5K when you've not run before or haven't run in a long time. And this morning, I rolled out of bed at about 5:15 a.m. CST and was at the gym and on the treadmill to start my Couch to 5K training.

I'd love to say that I just heard about this site, went to it yesterday and then this morning got up and did it, but the first time I actually looked at it and even started it was in 2005. I think I went through my first week, but at the time I wasn't big on treadmills and tried to start outside... well that got old real quick cause I didn't know how to pace myself (I am a competitive athlete still in my brain not realizing sometimes that my body is not on the same page!).

So this morning, I got up and did my "brisk 5-minute walk" to warm up at a 3.2 speed. And then started my interval training of 60 minutes running (4.2-5.0), 90 minutes walking (3.2). I definitely need to get new running shoes, which I'll do a little later today. I also have to stop by GNC to get more vitamins and by Whole Foods to pick up already seasoned firm tofu for my salads. (Oh yeah, I've also -- now that I have mastered the art of cooking brown rice -- decided to give the Fat Smash another try... like for real this time. The first time(s) I tried it, I wasn't eating beans, brown rice, oatmeal, egg whites... it was just a recipe for failure period because I just wasn't eating the filling foods that were acceptable and after eating bland salad after raw veggie/fruit, even the most disciplined will get hungry, angry and rebel... in that order. But I digress.)

After my thrilling 3-lb loss yesterday, I am definitely trying to keep that momentum, but at the same time I know that I can do a whole lot better at tracking my calories (thanks to Spark People) so I can smash fat while still making sure I eat enough foods throughout the days. That will definitely cut down on the hungry anger mentioned earlier. Because surely before I would eat a banana as a snack and then not eat again until it was already too late. But now I know how many calories are in a banana and know I can pair it with something else that will get the job done... or hell, have two bananas... you get my drift.

One thing at a time... back to the the 5K Training...

So this morning's run, while eventually started to tingle my glutes and thigh (around minute 13 on the count down) didn't really exhaust me the way I thought it might.. so next run, in my new shoes, I'm gonna ramp up my speed some. Because my MHR was 124 hardly enough to really get the blood pumping. And I broke into a very little sweat and only at the end. To offer some sort of gauge, I sweat harder during my 11 minute elliptical workout afterwards to thank my knees than I did during my 25 minutes on the tread... so gonna see if I can push myself. In 20 minutes I covered 1.46 miles though, so that's pretty sexy. I realize running outside is a much different ballgame, so the plan is to find my stride so that by the time I am running for extended periods of time (week 7) I can take it to the street (thanks Spark run maps!) to test it out and see how I do on the ground, wind in my back... or more than likely -- in Chicago -- wind in my face!

So yeah, feeling pretty good. Just gonna detox for these first nine days and really get my eating habits in check over the summer so that by winter when most people wanna ball up in the house and hibernate on junk food, I'm still hitting the gym and eating like I have some sense. I want to emerge in the spring that same healthy, fit butterfly, not wrapped back up in this cocoon of a weak shell.

I need one of those fancy stop watch, heart rate monitors for Christmas/My Birthday... any takers? :) What? I'm getting my request in early! Ooh and a Vita-Mix! hahaha...

Have a great day, Blogsphere. Time for me to get some real breakfast in my belly: scrambled egg whites, milk and cantaloupe.

My Dangerous Kitchen

After a little prodding from Spark People, I decided to inspect my kitchen. I needed to clean out my fridge anyway because I had to figure out a comfortable temperature setting because it was freezing things. So I took this as a time to really examine what I had going on in my fridge, my cupboards and beyond. 

And they were right, I did have a lot of hidden pitfalls in there. Sour creams, sugar-based juices etc. And then there were not so bad food, but I still bagged them up. Like non whole wheat pasta and cereals and my white rice (gasp!). Yep. I did it. I finally, finally figured out a way to make brown rice that I am comfortable with and it doesn't taste God awful to me.  

"To have healthy habits and a healthier lifestyle, you first must live in a healthy environment.

This is so true. I had already jump started this by making my workout closet. An organized place where I keep all my workout/fitness equipment so that it is always accessible and right there when I need it. I needed to take the same approach with my kitchen where the "fuel" is. Because I can be gung-ho about getting in shape, eating healthy... but unless I arm myself properly, I am sure to fail. I avoided eating late last night... my will power was strong but everyday isn't that easy.  

So I took stock to see what was going on in there.

Starting with the fridge, I threw away sour cream, all the spoiled fruit and veggies (obviously... shoulda been eating that!). I threw out the the ranch. Kept all my oil-based dressings though.

Start with the fridge and pantry. Focus on replacing sugary and high-calorie foods with whole grains and lower-calorie alternatives.

Spark People suggests:

• Learn to read food labels
  
• Buy a sturdy cutting board for all the fresh veggies you’ll be cutting up
  
• Get plenty of plastic bags and containers for portioning out prepared foods and storing healthy leftovers
  
• Collect healthy, quick recipes
  
• Toss out all those pizza coupons
  
• Get a few drinking bottles for keeping cold water in the fridge
  
• Put a bowl of fruit and granola/breakfast bars by the back door
  

The one's in red, I'm working on... 

And while we are still in the kitchen...

... learn where to spend your weight loss dollars. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, it takes more than reading a book or joining a gym. It really takes a lifestyle change of consistently picking up good habits and chucking old habits to the curb. Exchanging habits takes some time, so the smartest thing you can do is to make it easy on yourself. That means making it easy on your pocketbook too.

Here's a quick glance of what's in my kitchen.... and a couple recipes I adore... you're welcome lol

• quality knife
  
• vegetable peeler
  
• measuring cups
  
• scale
  
• calorie handbook
  
• portable containers
  
• snack size baggies
  

Here's how I reorganized my fridge: (pics to come)

• threw out fatty unhealthy choices
• washed and placed veggies at eye level
• made it convenient to eat healthy

Here are my healthy alternatives I brought in:

• butter spray, squeeze and Can't Believe It's Not Butter vs. actual butter or marjarine
  
• string cheese & individual cheese snack blocks
  
• egg whites - quick source of protein (I bowled and froze the egg whites from actual eggs... cheaper than buying them already separated.
  
• tuna packets (easy to just top on a bed of greens, no draining fuss)
  
• oil based salad dressing sprays (1 calorie per spray) 
  
• tofurkey slices (found some really good vegetarian lunch meat)
  
• fat-free yogurt, strawberries, apples
  
• low-fat cottage cheese (still not a big fan of this stuff but much like the brown rice movement, hoping for a revelation!)
  
• whole-grain/wheat pastas and starches 

How I organized my cupboards... What's in it? 

• high fiber/low carb whole-wheat bread
  
• cereal (high fiber/low cal)
  
• oatmeal packets
  
• put all snacks in separate snack bins (raw almonds, calorie snack packs, teas, etc)
• whole wheat pasta
  
• pre-packaged ingredients (dried cranberries, crushed almonds etc)
  
• sugar free chocolate pudding
  
• sugar free Jell-O
  
• Cool Whip
  
• whey protein powder mix
  

Waldorf Salad Spin-Off

1-cup green apples

1/2 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup crushed almonds

1-cup fat free yogurt

1 dash lemon juice

Sweet Treat

Sugar-free chocolate pudding

Sugar-free strawberry jello

1 Tbsp Cool Whip

1/2 cup fresh strawberries

Sept. 10, 2007....

In 6 days, it will be June 10... three months from two years ago when I started this blog. And healthwise, I have accomplished very, very little in comparison to what I was supposed to have accomplished. But I did a lot of thinking and self evaluation in April and May, and June, the start of a new season (summer) is always the best time to bring fruition to ideas and goals.

When is it time to really stop bs'ing and get in your right mind?

Life as an adult is soooo routine, so wouldn't it be smart to make it be the BEST routine for you vs. letting the day waste away without accomplishments? I vow to make the most of my routine days. Life keeps on passing us by... we have to do better.

I mean, as we get older our health (by nature) deteriorates. So it is only smart to get on the good foot and get ourselves together. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, some positive and uplifting and some not so positive (i.e., what's the point of trying to recertify myself in fitness when other people in the business my age have been consistently doing it for years or are much younger than me?) But I can't be discouraged by those kindsa thoughts... if anything I need to prove to myself that I can finally finish this task... I mean seriously, if I count my original payment plus each $25 delay fee, I have probably paid near $800 to take this damn test in all... lol funny but incredibly... sad.

I was telling a couple of my favorite homegirls that by 30, I really need to have it completely together. With a "new" relationship on the horizon, I still do all the things I was once doing as to not lose myself. I am still getting out the house. Still very active with my Meetup.com groups via community service, health and fitness, professional groups and sister circles. So when I can steal away (and I have been making time to make sure I do) I have been doing that. I get so caught up in family life sometimes, and how to maintain it for my youth, that I forget that there are sooo many things I want to do. Still... at the "old" age of 29 and some change.

There's ... something more that is supposed to be done while I am here. On this earth. Less dramatically, in Chicago. I just have to focus. I completed The Master Cleanse... the one act that calls for serious, serious focus and determination. Surely I can change the path I am on to be even MORE positive.

So I have a plan of action for the next three months: that starts today. Well, really yesterday (June 3).

• Tone up / Lose 15 lbs. And keep it off by making time to work out 5 days a week.

• Study for my exam. Take the test. Pass. :) And look for teaching jobs for the elderly, youth, water aerobics etc.

• Love more... worry less. This is easier said than done but doable still the same.

• Fix my diet. Consume more fruits and vegetables.

• Stick to the budget. With the kids going on summer break, I will be on a very tight budget but if God willing, I will be able to still have a suitable "income" coming in but one that will also allot me the time in my schedule I will need to really get myself (back) together.

But hey, I can post all the bullet points in the world but only a PLAN will make sure I adhere to them. So I will post everyday on how I stuck to the plan that day be it my food intake, my regimen and my good thoughts.

Moving on... but not really:

I love Special K cereal, and was thinking about this Special K Challenge over the weekend. Not so much because I think it's the end-all, be-all of healthy weight loss, I realize it's not... but I was thinking of trying this out for a guinea pig purpose... but I mean, well, if I lose an inch (or six pounds) off my waste that would be cool too. They guarantee at least an inch on the commercials and I must admit I am rather curious. The "challenge" has undergone some slight tweaks since they first introduced it years back... I do remember trying it before but it didn't quite stick. I think because then they didn't have other flavors and I couldn't put sugar on my cereal cause that wasn't part of the plan. Hence why it didn't work for me at all... but now they have snack bars, protein shakes, waffles and a bigger variety of cereals. I was thinking of making a little test experiment out of it... I mean, I've done The Master Cleanse for 1o days... so everything else should be simple, right? lol And I was thinking I could use my Fat Smash detox guidelines for the one meal a day to really drive it home.
What say you?

I debate and debate about it, but I really do need something to shock my system while I am doing my workouts. Working out and eating whatever is not a good balance, but I've found (based on my 2005/06 get fit plan) that when I worked out, filling myself with better for me foods I had a lot more energy. Um, yeah, I know, duh!

I do like Special K, but in general I am not a cereal for breakfast person. I know if I am going to be my best healthy self I need to get over that. BUT since I can't make/won't spend time in the kitchen making egg white omelets and thangs everyday, I need to find a delicate balance. SO I bought some Special K Vanilla Almond and Special K Cinnamon Pecan :)

A nice huge salad some days for lunch or days where I have cereal & fruit for lunch I can make a big bowl of sauteed spinach (my sauteed spinach is fye (fire)!) or red beans and (brown) rice... so long as it's part of the fat smash menu. I think I might be able to make it! My baby's birthday is June 15, so I think that's a nice round numba to see where my progress is from today. Tomorrow, I will resume my Chalene Extreme... and stay the course this time... for real. Utilize that book of yummy recipes she suggests. I'm such a loser sometime... stop spending money on these things and not getting the full benefit, crazy!! *rolls eyes at self*

It's all so frustrating really to know that in 2006 when I returned here, I was extremely fit and still looking to lose like 20 pounds trying to adhere to industry standards... this is where my new recentered self will come into play... keeping me grounded in reality.

So, a typical day will go like this:
Times are estimates and will vary obviously... but the GOAL is to try and stick as close to the times as possible to not only create a rhythm and habit that my body is used to, but also make sure I utilize all the time in my days, positively and wisely.

6 a.m.: Morning rise and prayer
6:30 a.m.: Workout
7:30 a.m.: Breakfast
10:30 a.m. Snack 1
11:30 a.m.: Sun's nap
Noon: Study
1:30 p.m. Lunch
4 p.m. Snack 2
6:30 p.m. Dinner
7:30 Sun's bathtime..
8 p.m. Sun's bedtime..
8:30 p.m. Study/Blog/Unwind

As I said, I'll post daily and make sure to live life in betweek eating lol Trips to the park, store, zoo, cleaning, etc. I just didn't feel it necessary to get into details as far as those were concerned. :)

What can you do/tweak to make your routine work more positively for you? Can you really commit to something for 30 days? 60 days? 90 days?

ETA 6/6/09: OK, so I decided NOT to do the Special K challenge BUT I have had breakfast the past three mornings... I will have it tomorrow as well directly after my morning workout. Yeah!

I Joined The Mile-High Club

OK, so not in the traditional sense of the phrase... but it got your attention. :)

So on Thursday, I had this bright idea to walk to my "neighborhood Target." *sigh*

In my whip, I get there in 5-10 minutes, tops. On foot, it was a 3-hour adventure. I went thinking it was about a 4 mile round trip journey... so without Googling, I strapped the sun into his stroller with a couple snacks, some ice water and my iPod. The object of the mission: get an armband for said iPod, a nightlight for the sun's room, and a battery for my sports watch.

I left my home at 6:20. I returned home at 9:30 (to my credit, I spent more time in Target than expected cause I wanted them to change the battery and when I got into my watch it was a complicated mess to get the battery out and THEN I stopped at the local currency exchange to get quarters for laundry). I arrived dripping buckets of sweat with tense quads. Yikes. I Google map the route... and found out my presumed 4 mile walk was actually a SIX-MILE walk round trip... owww!

As probably expected, I didn't do laundry that night... but I did take a hot shower and sit my ass down somewhere. Friday, I walked to the stores and back a brisk two-mile adventure to stay loose. And did my laundry, finally. Saturday, I just chilled and stretched waiting for Sunday.

Sunday morning, my alarm clock went off at 4:30 a.m. and I told her to shut her trap. I laid back down and then my BODY'S alarm clock woke me at 5:20... I remember hoping that I heard rain on my rooftop so I would have a good reason not to go. I looked out my window... no rain. *sigh* Then I said, "well, the people I was originally riding with aren't doing it anymore... I'll be lonely; I should stay home." 10 minutes later, I got out of bed tired from excuses.

In my car on the way to the expressway to go downtown, I had the bright idea on how to avoid traffic, parking woes and tickets, paying for meters etc. by just driving my bike and I to 47th and Lake Park in Hyde Park and riding in from there. It seemed like such a good idea at 6 in the morning. My bike and I hit Lake Shore Drive in all it's windiness at 6:20 a.m. I trecked from Chicago's luxurious Hyde Park neighborhood (southeast)... all the way to Chicago's uppity northside (where the ride turned around) 20 some odd miles away. Before doing so, I met up at the official beginning (approximately 10 miles away from my start) with a friend who by the glory of Facebook met me down there so I wouldn't do the ride alone. Thanks God, for Facebook status updates.

We biked to Bryn Mawr (the official turn around spot) and stopped in the rest stop for bananas and muffins and H20... somebody who will remain nameless didn't bring any water bottle and I told him if he thought I was getting back on LSD with him to head back another 20 miles he was sadly mistaken lol. But in essence, it was a good idea for BOTH of us cause that sustenance really helped us get back. Without it, we would have been in a world of ish. 35-40 miles later I was back at my truck, wondering why my butt was in so much pain... it still is, right now. BUT I did it. AND Chicago's Lake Shore Drive in the morning, is beautiful. More hilly than I remember it ever being when I drive my car over it tho. lol A great workout. My legs have put in so much work the past couple days, so many miles (hence the title) if I didn't keep it going, I would have to kick myself.

It did give me the courage to think I could brave bikers on a consistent basis. I admittedly was nervous about it. I'm going to get some padded biking pants to see if that helps any... cause more than anything, the ass area was the worst part of it all. It is why I gave up spinning classes... just real rude to the ass. Next time out with my bike is scheduled for Wednesday morning. Sporadic rides will condition me (and my ass) for my next big ride in July. I found friends to do it with while in Grant Park recovering before the ride back home. See...

The bike path (I had to take the bike path back to the south side/car because they were clearing off bikers to make way to open it up to the cars again) behind Lake Shore Drive is beautiful... riding right there next to the lake, behind the museums, riding past the Chicago Fire Fighter's tribute... very calming even with walkers (walking two abreast) who refuse to move over ANY when you say, "on your left!" knowing you can't pass them because traffic is coming from the other direction. Assholes.

The pleasure is in knowing, I could do exactly what I did before, parking near the drive and getting busy. It was a lovely day ass pain aside. After we loaded the bikes into my car, we went for brunch where I enjoyed a spinach and feta cheese omelet, wheat toast, turkey sausage and hash browns and more glasses of water. And was home by noon. I slept the rest of the day though and finally got up to stop by a holiday BBQ around 7 p.m.


I was back in bed by midnight... pooped!

30 Days to Form a Habit

I had a little bout of the lazies directly after getting back from Florida. And that lazy turned into my new habit vs. doing my program.

I knew I should have taken my workout with me, but I just couldn't see toting my weights in my suitcase. In hindsight, I could have packed my bands and just did altered moves because once you stop for a bit it's hard to get back in it because the pain you have to prepare for is all brand new. And brand new pain is worse than "feeling the burn" pain.

At any rate, I've still been eating well and haven't gained any weight and I'm ready to get back in the "habit." I've been a busy bee, with different volunteer work and working my job(s) but I've also been looking for new contracts and work. So I haven't been totally useless and up until last night, I hadn't touched my bar since Cinco de Mayo. Progress indeed... but last night I made a couple Screwdrivers to take the edge off after a conference call of inaccuracy and ineptitude.

Be that as it may, I will start using a calendar (I look at one every day at my desk) to plan out what I should be doing... because in essence, I should be working out in the early mornings, scheduling a part of my day to study, working a block of hours etc.

If it's one thing I am coming to terms with is that I will be 30 in a little more than seven months and there's so many things I need to get together professionally and personally by (preferably before) then. My work situation, weight situation, etc. are going to do nothing but discourage me extra if I am still experiencing the woes with them as an full-fledged adult. I say that not saying I'm not an adult now, I'm as adult as they come but there's something serious about leaving your 20s behind.

This Sunday, I will be Biking the Drive. And I bought a new bike on Sunday when I was volunteering for early registration and packet pick-up for the event. I fell in love with The Globe:
a lil hybrid baby like the one pictured, but in silver. She even has a lil bell. :)
I had been contemplating for months on what kind of bike to get. And after test riding a couple, this one was the winner. I also bought a helmet, say whaaaat? I can't wait to ride it this Sunday, but lookin forward to putting plenty of miles on her.

They say the drive is beautiful, so my friends and I are gonna get out there at the very beginning (5:30 a.m.) and ride Lake Shore Drive and watch the sun rise... and then have a nice pancake breakfast afterwards.... soooo looking forward to it.
So, SUNDAY is the (official) day where I will have my stuff back together. I am letting that be the symbolic beginning of my fit life... again... and 30 days to form a habit... I think I'd only done the program a few weeks before Florida came around. I have got to shake this stagnance that tries to overcome me... continue to live freely even when life tries to hinder me. You know?

Can you commit to something for 30 days to make it a habit? Let's start today. For me, that means starting to remodel the house. I will be starting that today in just a few hours. Tell me what your commitment will be... and let's do it together.

Breast Milk!

I need to replenish.

With all the workouts, my boobature is finally shrinking, returning to my C cup and I am so sad about it. I thought I might luck up and get to keep 'em since I haven't breastfed in six months, but one month of determined workouts have completely shut down that plan.

Quick, somebody give me a baby to feed!!

129 Days to Peace...

Today is the first day, of the rest of meh life... it sounds corny, but today... for me, it's true. I really need "a change gone come" around here. Having my sun 14 months ago really made me see a lot of things differently... and for him I was trying to make certain things work in my life that just aren't meant. I've had to refocus and center myself... but it is a seemingly difficult task with the wrong influences. Having him has truly changed me as a person, and I should follow suit in all things so that I can be the best mother he deserves. I'd like to believe I'm a good person, so why negativity always seems to find me, I am not sure. But today is the day I take more ownership of how things in MY life progress and keep them natural and positive and great. So with that said: I am instituting a sort of "challenge" for myself. There are exactly 129 days left until the first of 2009. (Nuts how fast this year went, but I digress.) So with these 129 days, I will take myself into my own personal "next level."

So of course, I have some goals.

1. Get Back Active: Exercise at least 3 times a week. It can be a walk, a bike ride, an exercise DVD, a dance class, whatever -- but I must get in at least three days.
~ I have registered to take my re-certification exam December 6, 2008 in Schaumburg.
~ Tone, tone, tone!

2. Remove 20 pounds... for good!
Genesis 1:29 ~ And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Coincidence of this Bible verse? I'm sure, but who cares. I need to get back to eating those whole-grain, organic, things of the earth and away from what I had started resorting to... more flesh than veggies, more processed junk that life foods, etc.

3. Enjoy life... enjoy my child... and let no one take this happiness, love from me.

4. Save some duckets. Buy a home. The goal is to buy a home early 2009.

My moment has arrived. I give thanks for all that encompasses me and has made me who I am today... but tomorrow is not promised, so I must begin to live for my present.

I recognize now that which is truly important... I abhor being stressed out. I look on with envy as certain friends of mine are always golden. Either they hide it well or they truly are happy inside out. I crave that. I will have that.

I want to be free. I sense the divine order of all things in my life approaching me... and I welcome it with open arms. And then I will release it unto you and others... let's spread positive energy.

John 1:29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

Rejoice with me! We just brought in Day One...

Jah Bless.