UPDATE BLOG: Are you hurt? Or are you injured?

Hey! I'm still here! :)

"Are you hurt, or are you injured?"
"What's the difference, coach?"
"If you're hurt you can play, if you're injured..."
~ "Coach Winters" in The Program

Well after a few frustrating days of not being able to see my doctor or schedule an appointment, I decided to show up today on a morning I knew she was scheduled to be in a different office to walk-in and see a new primary care physician. He saw me and my knee and even though the "treatment" of it is spanned out over four weeks, I'm happy that the ball is even rolling. Because it definitely wasn't getting better with R.I.C.E.ing.

So he prescribed me some stronger ibuprofen than what I have in the cabinet and scheduled me for an MRI for the first appt I could get (8/25) saying that hopefully the ibuprofen will start to help the swelling before then. There's like a little bubble of ... something... sitting inside the left side of my left kneecap. And then I follow up with him on 9/8 (the soonest we could meet b/c he's goin on vacay for two weeks and since I just kinda deciced to switch to him as my primary care... he was originally gonna have me see my old physician and I declined. Who knows, maybe a lil ibuprofen inflammatory twice a day (I would never think to take that much ibuprofen in a day) might actually help a ton and by the time I see him he'll have even better news for me.) In the meantime, I'll wait. It severely throws off my timetable, but I'm just gonna start getting in about 30 minutes of the elliptical three times a week... not too long, but enough to get something done. And possibly some swimming. (I don't like the upkeep of swimming with all the showering in the gym and swim caps and carrying on lol) and staying as flexible as possible in hopes to keep up my endurance so that when this is all said and done, I can pick up where I left off, repeating week 4 and moving on with my life. Hopefully that won't throw off my training for my 5K too much. It's still 11/1 so hopefully all will be well. I have high hopes.

As of this morning I'm doing best to follow the Fat Smash Detox as of this a.m. I have never been very successful doing this... why, I'm not sure especially when I have managed to Master Cleanse for several days in succession. So this time, especially since now my activity has severely decreased, I need to make sure I follow the eating "rules" to continue to be able to positively contribute to the challenge I'm in on Spark People. So far today, I've had a small something every couple hours. Banana for breakfast, strawberry protein smoothie (with a cup of real strawberries in addition to the strawberry mix) and then two veggie kebabs with zucchini, squash and yellow pepper. Very tasty. I am soaking my red beans to make vegetarian red beans and gonna make a big pot of brown rice for the "heavy" stuff. But keeping it predominantly veggies and fruits and actually gonna really stick to the guidelines of how you're to prepare them: steamed, raw or grilled. Wish me luck.

30 X 30 Challenge
Thanks to Allyn, a Spark buddy, I was motivated to SHED 30 pounds by our 30th bday. She's a Capricorn as well and our 30th bdays are in days of each other. It's ironic because I'd thought to strive for that before, but the impatient girl in me, really wanted to get it done MUCH sooner than that. But that is also how I have done in the past. I put a LOT of pressure on myself to meet these dates when, sensibly, it would be better to give myself more time, even if I don't need it. It's just the fair thing to do. I owe myself that. My birthday present to myself will be MAINTENANCE. lol

Well, actually, I am looking into a February Ski/Super Bowl trip to the Catskills as my belated present. But my real present is maintenance. :)

Good-bye "Good" Parts!
Even in all this madness, I have still managed to lose a nice amount of weight (even tho the doc's scale was like 4 lbs heavier than what my home scale says I am... oyeee... need a new scale, man) and I want to keep these results.

I really, truly... truly miss C25K. I had no idea I could enjoy running so much. It's very empowering. And I hope I can get back to it a lot sooner than later.

A little while ago, I wrote a blog about losing the "good parts" . I am proud to announce that those good parts are slimming on down. My tight skinny jeans... not so tight anymore. I am seeing the results of my work and it makes me feel so great.

I caught a glance at myself in the full-body mirror and while I AM trimming down the "good parts" I'm also toning them up and lifting thangs splendidly... and guess what? The man notice anyhow.

As I told BUTTA... the men are taking notice not only because our BODIES are changing but WE are changing. Our self-esteem grows with every workout we finish, every inch we lose and every muscle we gain. Yay for us.

In the meantime...
I finally bought my poster board. I am about to use my "down" time as a breather to get my collage done... I am excited about the project and can't wait to post pics.

Keep moving...

This Stops... Right NOW!

My thoughts today were like my bloated tummy... bulging out my head like my muffin top was over my loser jeans. And then it went from thoughts of bloat to laze, then laze to loser... Well, dammit, as of now, I lose no more.


As I am changing my life and diet and health (yay) I have come to terms with my "issues."

The number one issue: my tummy.

In high school I had a "glimpse of a four pack." I was a dual athlete and still didn't have a six-pack of perfect abs. So now as a near-30-year-old mom, I have pretty much set my sights on never... ever... having the stomach I really, really want. BUT, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. But what I am noticing is, my stomach is a lot kinder when I eat the right foods. For about five days I lived with a flat tummy... I had one bad day yesterday scarfing down cakes and popcorn and carbo loading and the bloat is back... could there be something to eating right that might get me THE tummy I want? (Whoooaaaa there ya go, Einstein!)

I saw on The View this morning that when you have a baby your stomach muscles tear something like 20% during and after childbirth. And the chances of getting your tummy back up to par are very slim AND that if you really want that to happen the sooner you start your post-partum exercises, the better.... ummmmm well, my sun is 2. lol Sooooo that pretty much is a big ol kick in the jaw for your girl. I am LATE. lol AND I haven't been on my best behavior for two years either, so this is really, really bad news. Ha!

At annny rate... I'm still going to give it an old-fashioned try. I felt like a complete and utter loser after munching on all that stuff yesterday. Even sadder? I KNEW I would. Seriously. I kid you not, on IM with my homegirl while baking the cake I said, and I quote: I know I'm gonna feel like sh*t afterwards... but I'm gonna eat it anyway.

Really hormones? Is this the score? Self sabotage is a BIA! I mean... truly. How could I just not.care? Then today it all made sense. This is what I have always done... not.care. Well, I'm done not caring... ESPECIALLY about myself. I'm done putting myself behind everything and everybody. I'm taking a mini-vacation the second weekend of September. I'm gonna go to Wisconsin for Fit Fest and earn some CECs by participating in some fun, healthy activity. I'm gonna research some walking trails while there and just spend some time doing for ME. In nature, with like-minded people and the goal is to be even smaller (5 lbs less, a couple inches here and there).

I told my Hot 2 Trot Cutie teammates today that I want my house in the shape it's SUPPOSED to be in by Sept. 1. And I will get it there. All the updates done, floors cleaned and waxed, shelving up, closet finished. I'm starting this fall with a clear mind, top-shape home and a new me... when smaller aspects in your life are in order, the rest flows better.

As apart of The Biggest Loser Challenge (8-weeks) that ended today I lost 9 lbs! 25 more and I'm at the middle of my goal range... the time is now. No more dumb-ass binges... no more sabotage... no more silliness. It's time... time for me to start becoming the best me. I am not perfect nor will I ever be, but I'm tired of causing the issues. Causing the trouble. Tired of bloating... tired of moping... tired of not living to my potential. I've been holding my own self back.

This laziness has got to go. Don't we deserve to be our BEST?

Let's start putting self ... first. Because when we're happy, everything else will fall into place and we can be who we need to be for the ones we love, the jobs we frequent, best contributors to our places of worship... guaranteed! We're so brainwashed into thinking we can't do something... we don't. Let's STOP thinking like this. Stop defeating ourselves before we even try. I CAN have a great stomach. I can take charge of my healthy life. I know I will. Will you?

"Independence"

"Girl I didn't know you could get down like that"
~ "Independent Ladies" Destiny's Child

So as I rub on my flat(ter) full stomach sitting on my couch watching old school cartoons on Boomerang... I must admit, I feel great. I just had my breakfast (egg white omelette with fresh spinach, minced garlic and topped with soy cheese, 1/2-cup brown rice and a cup of sliced strawberries), I'm sippin on my liter of water, and just feeling... great. On this Independence Day, I am inspired -- with all it's great meaning -- to celebrate my own independence from the lifestyle that once had me so shackled I thought it was normal. I stare at the picture of me that I found from 1996... looking back at me was this fit, happy teenager with a body to d-i-e for. She loved to workout, her shoulders were fabulous and her gluteus maximus was propped up like it was holstered by buff boys... oooh wee! lol I was prolly a good 125 lbs on that picture and a size 7/8. (I told ya'll I've always been a muscular, stocky lil something... that weight on my height is usually like a size 4... but anywho..)

I will never have that exact body again, besides having five more body arts, more stretch marks and cellulite, my body has morphed some by gaining different muscles in places I didn't have them before (I didn't do a lot of strength exercise then, just cardio with all the basketball and track and field practice). SO when I emerge a new 13-year older butterfly my body will be different, but maybe -- just maybe -- even better. I'll have filled out some and be muscular vs just thin.

Last night I went out with my sisters to a comedy show and didn't drink. I'd mentioned to my homegirl that I was not going to drink until I hit goal. I realize this is a difficult task to accomplish, so I modified it a bit to drink in moderation. Afterall, if I am ever going to prove I can maintain my weight, I will need to show myself that I can act right when tempted.. drinks, fatty foods, I will need to be able to control myself in these situations. So it made me feel truly ecstatic that I was out with my girls with everything feeling like normal but for this evening I decided NOT to partake. They all were looking at me a lil sideways because it's unnatural for me not to imbibe, lol, but they will have to get used to the new healthier choices me. Sometimes she will drink and IF she does, it will be an alcohol with a low-to-no calorie mixer (i.e., seltzer) or a glass of wine ... something I can account for. So, I will moderate my alcoholic consumption when I choose to drink, which won't be often, but I will not drink any juice or pops. I will stick to crystal light and water. If I choose to have whiskey (which I do often) I will drink it straight... no Coke and only in moderation. This is more feasible than trying to set myself up to fail. Yanno?

Anywho, I am feeling absolutely great today and I just wanted to share with you... what are you independent from today?

I got off the couch...

to train for my first competitive 5K.

So, as you know, I've power walked 5Ks before in just under an hour but have always shied away from actually running one. OK, you probably actually did NOT know that... but now you do.

SO last night, while sitting around I decided to get off my couch and once again go to the site to learn how to train for a 5K when you've not run before or haven't run in a long time. And this morning, I rolled out of bed at about 5:15 a.m. CST and was at the gym and on the treadmill to start my Couch to 5K training.

I'd love to say that I just heard about this site, went to it yesterday and then this morning got up and did it, but the first time I actually looked at it and even started it was in 2005. I think I went through my first week, but at the time I wasn't big on treadmills and tried to start outside... well that got old real quick cause I didn't know how to pace myself (I am a competitive athlete still in my brain not realizing sometimes that my body is not on the same page!).

So this morning, I got up and did my "brisk 5-minute walk" to warm up at a 3.2 speed. And then started my interval training of 60 minutes running (4.2-5.0), 90 minutes walking (3.2). I definitely need to get new running shoes, which I'll do a little later today. I also have to stop by GNC to get more vitamins and by Whole Foods to pick up already seasoned firm tofu for my salads. (Oh yeah, I've also -- now that I have mastered the art of cooking brown rice -- decided to give the Fat Smash another try... like for real this time. The first time(s) I tried it, I wasn't eating beans, brown rice, oatmeal, egg whites... it was just a recipe for failure period because I just wasn't eating the filling foods that were acceptable and after eating bland salad after raw veggie/fruit, even the most disciplined will get hungry, angry and rebel... in that order. But I digress.)

After my thrilling 3-lb loss yesterday, I am definitely trying to keep that momentum, but at the same time I know that I can do a whole lot better at tracking my calories (thanks to Spark People) so I can smash fat while still making sure I eat enough foods throughout the days. That will definitely cut down on the hungry anger mentioned earlier. Because surely before I would eat a banana as a snack and then not eat again until it was already too late. But now I know how many calories are in a banana and know I can pair it with something else that will get the job done... or hell, have two bananas... you get my drift.

One thing at a time... back to the the 5K Training...

So this morning's run, while eventually started to tingle my glutes and thigh (around minute 13 on the count down) didn't really exhaust me the way I thought it might.. so next run, in my new shoes, I'm gonna ramp up my speed some. Because my MHR was 124 hardly enough to really get the blood pumping. And I broke into a very little sweat and only at the end. To offer some sort of gauge, I sweat harder during my 11 minute elliptical workout afterwards to thank my knees than I did during my 25 minutes on the tread... so gonna see if I can push myself. In 20 minutes I covered 1.46 miles though, so that's pretty sexy. I realize running outside is a much different ballgame, so the plan is to find my stride so that by the time I am running for extended periods of time (week 7) I can take it to the street (thanks Spark run maps!) to test it out and see how I do on the ground, wind in my back... or more than likely -- in Chicago -- wind in my face!

So yeah, feeling pretty good. Just gonna detox for these first nine days and really get my eating habits in check over the summer so that by winter when most people wanna ball up in the house and hibernate on junk food, I'm still hitting the gym and eating like I have some sense. I want to emerge in the spring that same healthy, fit butterfly, not wrapped back up in this cocoon of a weak shell.

I need one of those fancy stop watch, heart rate monitors for Christmas/My Birthday... any takers? :) What? I'm getting my request in early! Ooh and a Vita-Mix! hahaha...

Have a great day, Blogsphere. Time for me to get some real breakfast in my belly: scrambled egg whites, milk and cantaloupe.