Gotta Keep on Keepin On..

My life is hella funny.

The things I care about most seem to never be aligned at the same time, or if they are, for very long.

I dunno why that is... but I can't dwell on it either. You know? Like I can't wallow. I can't beg and plead for it to act right... I can only count on me.

I can't believe it's October. September ran right by. And I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to either.

During that month (my previous post) I touched on how my life was about to experience a lot of change, for the better. I started a new job (which I love) and had a lot of training (that hasn't yet ended) and trips and long days. My sun started school and that was a whole new experience for me. And then you throw in family life and trying to keep a house together... oy. My finances are still QUITE problematic, as I play catch-up and "oh man, I really can't pay that" lol but I am hoping things will turn around sooner than later. But don't get me wrong, it's very nice to have a steady paycheck coming in... starting this Thursday.

Work was a bit frustrating because NONE of my equipment was showing up. I just got an email last week. But still don't have my Blackberry, which will help organize my life.. a LOT. My Outlook calendar will be a busy, fun mess! But I need my stuff. I feel so... incomplete. I hope to be able to stop by the office in the a.m. on my way out to yet more training to pick it up, but we shall see. But I am truly, truly ready to have control again... I just don't know why I can't have it right now. I was doing SO well before my knee blew out. I am determined to get back there with more on my daily schedule. A truly committed person can make it work with a full day or nothing on her calendar at all. I gotta find my game face!

I've gotta stop procrastinating!

Like today, I've sat around all day. Had an emotional argument, break down, followed by complete confidence/dismissive attitude and then did NOTHING for the rest of the day. Didn't get our clothes ironed laid out, no lunches made, and now it's 10:37 CST. WTF..

I have GOT to do betta. Or I am just gonna continue to .... flail.

I need to be packing a lunch, EVERYDAY. This way I won't be eating whatever, in a rush. Granted when out of town or in training this is hard, because the meals are planned for me... but still. Where there is a plan, there is a will to win.

Furthermore, my whole job is based on making my own schedule, filling my own calendar. I am normally very organized... I just need to stop bullshitting... yes. There. I said it.

I know that I can DO it... no matta WHAT my day looks like. I CAN make good choices.. live my life, but in a healthy fashion, following my healthy lifestyle.

My team captain said it best: "I have the choice what I do with my spare 30 minutes. I have the choice what I put in my mouth. I have the choice how I react to stressful situations or emotions that arise. I am in control of my health."

(Oh ee oh, dancin in) September Epiphany

Well hello there! I'm still here... feelin fat and what not.

I've been on a celebratory binge to enjoy getting a job offer on Friday. In RETROSPECT, I did it a lot more controlled than I normally would. So for that, I am proud of myself. But I'm really trying to get back to business as usual.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna try out a run. On my knee. Pray for me.

This will be a very busy week for me planning meals, getting together a schedule I'm comfortable with, researching a YMCA near my (new) job for lunchtime workouts, getting a cooler for my car to house my food and snacks for the day, researching day cares and the like... it's cool cause for the first time in a long time, I find myself pulling out a gym bag from the storage area for lunchtime workouts... This is going to work, pun intended.

With September upon me... I must focus. I think getting a schedule about my day will help immensely. Now if only my (new) supervisor would call me about the lunch date we're supposed to have to discuss particulars. I'm too excited about this opportunity for it to fall through now... soooo... come on. I'll call him in the morning to see if we're still on.

In the meantime, I have two other day cares to check out tomorrow. Hopefully, will be able to make my choice by Friday.

I'm really, really excited about all that's going on... and I feel really good about the progress I'll make. Before when I wasn't working, working out was my sanctuary and then it was taken from me with the knee stuff... but now it will be an addition to my actual LIFE. Hopefully... oyee... call me back! haha

30 x 30 Challenge
So today is the first of my favorite month ~ September. I adore fall... and it is the welcome to it. I am determined to center my chi and focus to drop (not lose, because when you lose things you ultimately find them) 30 pounds to my goal weight. Exactly 19 weeks to my 30th birthday. And I have a plan in mind... I wish I could stay in reflective mode ALL DAY because that is when I am my best. I really miss my runs, so I AM going to get up in the morning and give one a good old try.. and pray like hell it doesn't hurt or irk.

SO.. I'm gonna keep it to 1200-1350 calories.. I'm going to see about getting through the months of September with no red meat or pork and no more than 4 oz of meat a day. Lots of fruit and veggies.

A (hopeful) C25K run 3 times a week.

Strength training through Chalene Extreme... MUST get through this 3-month program.

When all is said and done... my goals will come into existence but I definitely need to:

1. Stop getting down on myself when I do slip.
2. Turn every negative into a positive until the negatives disappear.
3. BELIEVE in myself.
4. Learn how to control my impulses and celebrations.

Through a steady routine of running and strength training... I must emerge.

I'm tired ya'll... tired of not living to my potential. Tired of not being the size I'm supposed to be... the health I deserve... the energy I need... but I can't continue to talk about it. In fact... I'm tired of that too. It's time for action. And I know I have had epiphany's before... or thought I did... but I'm seriously done... talking.

Time for some action.

This September of 2009 is the beginning of my new life, a healthier life with my sun, my love and working hard for the things I want to keep me grounded.

Time for some action.

Head and Shoulders, Knees and Woes... Knees and Woes.

I felt so good when my eyes popped open this a.m. then I placed my feet down and felt that it wasn't a dream, I did hurt my knee and it was still quite tender. The PLAN was to go to the gym this a.m. and give the elliptical a spin. But after a little bit of thought, I decided to take it easy today and see what I feel like in the morning. (Tomorrow is SUPPOSED to be my third day of week four but we shall see.) I did 20-minute Turbo Jam (the culprit that pulled my knee in the first place) and it didn't feel too bad. I moderated some of the moves to low impact not because I was hurting but to be safe.

My focus today was super clean eating (ehh, I did OK) and cleaning the kitchen (halfway done) since I am getting around on it better than yesterday (ahhh, progress). I was also supposed to do Turbo Sculpt for what I thought would be some upper-body lifting but I turned it on and it was a lot of whole-body work (i.e., bicep curls with squats etc) and I didn't want to overdo it... cause I'm praying I can get through my run OK tomorrow morning. But I did make sure to do SOMETHING.

I didn't ice much today as expected.. I only rested and elevated it a lot. I'm just really praying that I can get back on the tread tomorrow for a successful W4D3. I just really enjoyed Tuesday's run and want to get back out there... plus I feel and see it working in my quads, hammy's, hell, even my abdomen... even at a glacial pace of 4.0... it starting to thrill me. But, I'm not idiot. If I have to wait till Friday or Saturday, I guess that's what I will have to do. It'll just be a little frustrating; but off bat I was planning to spend at least two solid weeks on week four before moving on to Week 5. This is the first time I've experience a knee problem so I am really out of my element on how to address it. But I've been reading helpful articles and feel confident and blessed that it wasn't worse and I am taking proper precautions. It could have been much worse, sidelining me indefinitely yanno?

In more exciting news, I am moving my closet frames upstairs tomorrow finally so that we can start putting them together and adding the walls and prep for the poles and things. So it's gonna be a busy day whether I like it or not. So hopefully I treat my knee well enough tonight that she praises me with act-right tomorrow. :)

This was originally gonna be a "sad" post... filled with "woe is me" but it turns out I may not need to turn on the dramatics after all.. the small set back was just a slightly painful, irritating reminder to ALWAYS practice perfect form, keep soft knees and watch for foot/ankle placement in aerobic activity. And who doesn't need to know those hard-fast and important rules? If we're gonna be doing this for a lifetime journey (as we all should) we're gonna need to make it as safe as possible.

Onward and downward!

Runner In Progress

WELP, I did it!!! I started week four today!!! I blogged about how I was gonna abort the last day of week 3 and move on to week 4 since I felt so comfortable.

Week four consists of two five-minute runs and two 3-minute runs with various shorter walking spurts. I FINISHED!!! I ran each segment I was supposed to, didn't stop. *SMILES PROUDLY* I am so proud of myself, ya'll... you really don't understand.. I could tear up a little bit.

I feel great.

Not saying it wasn't a challenge... Of course Oh Shila started whining a little bit, but I just made sure to cool down, taking the speed down on the walking, walking pigeon-toed then sleuth footed, then pigeon toed etc... whatever adjustments to calm her down then I hit my run intervals again. Making sure to take my time and stretch really well, holding each move for 20-30 seconds after a 8-minute cool down. For a total of 35 minutes of activity. I was running at about 4.5 for the first interval (3 minutes) but knew that I would probably have to take it down some after the 90-second interval because next us was FIVE MINUTES! Eep!! Shila's ass was like, oh no HONEY! I don't know WHAT you thought this was!" But I was like, "shut the hell up and hook it up!" :-) In every relationship there needs to be compromise, so I took my speed down to 3.8. I felt like I was walkin in sand, BUT I can work on speed later. Let me get her to cooperate first then we'll start doing competitive timing. We'll stick to this for a few weeks and then we'll reassess, deal, Shila?

There are little euphoric feelings like that of doing your workout, completing it and being in line with your caloric intake. It's enough to make me emotional. Next run is Tuesday morning, but KNOW that the work doesn't take a rest until then. Condition! Condition! Condition!

I see my runner's body hanging in the closet with those smaller clothes with the tags still on them... and I am gunning for em all. This is goin to be a GREAT first week to kick off August and round off the summer. Let's do it!

August Attack

With a new month upon us (man, this year is really flying by... I'll be 30 before I know it) I thought it time to re-establish my goals and see what I am doing here. I want to be 165 by September 1. That's gonna take work, commitment, and will power. But I really know I can do it. Not only because I've done it before, but because well, I have to!

But this time is different. Not because it'll be the last time I ever have to make this dance (because believe me, it will be!) but because my body is different. As you know, I have a 2 y/o so I truly believe that my new after-baby body is a little more... stubborn to let the weight go. I need to be disciplined if I am going to persevere. As I've mentioned I am already redirecting my mindset to a healthier living. I just bought more brown rice instead of white and have all whole wheat pastas, breads... and I would have whole-wheat crackers but I wanna finish the Ritz I bought (which claim to be whole wheat but are less than 1g of fiber) quite irritating lol.

At any rate, I did well under my max calories first day of the month. I didn't workout today as planned deciding to take a rest day. I'll be up early for my morning run on the treadmill starting week 4. That's right... week 4! :) I've decided it's time to move forward. I still don't have new new-shoes but my new ones and I are meshing a lot better these days. So I'm gonna check it out and see what happens on those 5-minute intervals.

Day in... day out.
I need a routine for my routine. I have accepted the fact that adult life (hell, life in general) comes with a routine, but have not made the routine work for me to the best of it's ability. It is my ultimate goal to be blessed to wake up January 12 as an even more beautiful, 30-year-old, 140-lb woman, with beautiful teeth, hair, skin, nails and a muscular, toned defined runner's body. And I will. Because I always get what I want and work hard for.

Today began a series of events that is going to reshape me from head-to-toe.... inside out.

I finally, finally replenished my Hair, Skin and Nails vitamin but I went with a different brand. I kept missing GNC operation hours so decided to get it from Dominick's where I went to buy low-fat Coffee ice cream for my Mocha shake (167 cals) I made. (Thanks Weight Watchers cook books!) I also bought (because it was on sale) the Nivea body Good-bye Cellulite 30-Day Body Beauty Program.

I realize you can't get rid of cellulite but these creams and massages are supposed to decrease the appearance of it. Since I don't have a lot of cellulite (and because it was only $10) I thought it would be a cool monthly experiment. It also comes with a little dietary supplement of conjugated linoleic acid and L-Carnitine . So tomorrow I'm gonna take some pictures and see where that leads me come day 30. See if I notice any change or if I just donated $11 and some change to the Nivea fund. :) With this supplement, that will leave me taking 5 pills a day... oyeee... but it's worth it. Just imagine if I could take a pic of my insides? We could see the change over time... but we'll see it on the outside. We all know great health starts from the inside out. From the food we eat and water and nutrients we ingest, we transform our body on the outside with a little sweat of course.

Plan of Attack:
I have decided to go to NETA Fit Fest the second weekend of September to finally lock in the rest of my first re-certifications and get.it.done. By then, it is my hope to be as CLOSE to 160 as possible. Then I will immediately start looking for teaching jobs. Immediately. It is time.

Basic Schedule:
(It's a lot more detailed then this, but here's the public version)
Sunday
C25K 30 minute morning run training
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push Ups

Monday
60-90-minutes of cardio

Tuesday
C25K 30-minute morning run training
30-60 minutes of cardio
10 push ups

Wednesday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen

Thursday
C25K 30 minute morning training

Friday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push ups

Saturday
(rest)

Slender, Sexier, SO-healthy Sanni 2009 and Beyond

"To feel 'fit as a fiddle', you must tone down your middle."

~ Unknown

So after finally a month of being more consistent on Spark People for good.. I can say I am finally in a groove. And thought it was time to detail my goals so I know specifically what it is I am going to accomplish over the next 6.5 months (till my 30th birthday).

A little background...

I was a dual athlete all four years of high school and for my freshman year of undergrad. While working full time and in school for my master's at 24, I started reclaiming my athletic body by going to workout faithfully, everyday on my lunch break for an hour. In doing so I trimmed off near 50 pounds I'd packed on during my stagnant years. I also went on to get certified in group fitness.

I moved back home to Chicago for a job opp in 2006, fell in love, got with my partner, got comfortable, gained weight, had a baby in 2007, let my certs lapse and here I am. lol While, I haven't gained all my previous weight back, I am certainly not my previous weight and I aim to get back to that and better.

I love my body/frame because I wear my weight extremely well. People rarely know that I weigh as much as I do, unless I tell them. I know I have a lot of hidden stallion-like muscles under this thickness. I will bring em out, and KEEP em out, before 2009 comes to a close to enter my 30s with no extra weight upon my heart and soul.

There are a total of 28 weeks and 5 days to the day of my born day and exactly 29 weeks to my anticipated weekend celebration. My goal is to be met and maintained by my bday tho. If I consistently lose a simple pound or two a week, I'll be at my goal weight. Sounds simple enough right? lol It's gonna take mad determination, calculated movements and strict by-the book seriousness. I am ready. I haven't felt this ready since 2004 when I got tired climbin up to my 3rd floor apartment and knew a change needed to come and quick. Luckily, I am not as in bad of shape as I was then... so failure this time is not an option.

Goal weight: 138-140... I would like to be 140 pounds or lower. Until further notice. I was 125-130 in high school, so I think 140 is a good, realistic weight to shoot for (in 2006 before I started gaining I was 10 pounds heavier). After accessing my physical appearance and how I feel, IF I want to get back to my high school weight when I get there, I'll work on skimming away those last 10. But we'll see. I wanna keep my assets if you kno what I mean. I was also a B cup in high school and nobody wants that. lol And by nobody, I mean me.

The Program:
Eat five to six small meals a day, drink more than eight glasses of water and workout 5 days a week.

• 8+ glasses of water a day
• 5+ servings of veggies/fruits a day
• 5 days of at least 45 minutes of cardio
• 3 days of strength training
• Track caloric intake and don't go over it; try best to get all the nutrients I need
• Have a healthy breakfast of SOME sort, every morning
• Award myself to the goals
• Surround myself with positive people who know my struggle and support me

Basic Goals

1. Weigh less than 140 pounds
2. Get body fat to 20-22%
3. Get Fitness Certifications
4. Start personal training and fitness instruction business

My 2009 G&R (goals and rewards):

Goal: Weight 165 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: Get thigh tattoo sleeve expanded..

Goal: Weight 150 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: Mini shopping spree

Goal: Weight 140 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: A trip to an exotic place I've never been

Goal: Body fat 25% *~* Achieved: ???
Reward: New workout gear (bras, shoes, shorts, yoga pants etc.)

Goal: Size 10 Pants *~* Achieved: ???
Reward: ACE Certification

Goal: First 5K Competitive Race *~* Completed: ???
Reward: Small weekend getaway

Please check out my fitness/health blog where I talk about my struggles, share articles and eventually client consultations:
http://glamourousglutesgamsandguns.blosp
ot.com

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it."
~ Plato

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it."

~ Plato

Analyze. Strategize: The Intro.

I found my fit girl "crush"... a 35-year-old single mother of two in St. Louis who lost like 50 lbs., got certified as an ACE personal trainer, is now a fitness writer and currently training to be a fitness model. At 35, she changed the game and took on a new job totally unrelated to her two degrees. In the midst of all the adversity she faces, she ventured out.. it inspires me and makes me ashamed. Ashamed that I am SUCH a procrastinator. When the eff did I get sooo stagnant? So lazy? SO careless. I was in my iPhoto just staring at pics of how this...*pinches self* came to be. And then I sat my period-laden butt up all week eating everything under the sun... real rude like. It's like I know what I want and continue to ruin and/or delay my destiny
...

WHY?!

So now I'm reflecting.

The other day I was lookin at myself in the mirror impressed with progress. I swore I saw a shrinking waistline... and then I sabotaged myself. I must, must, must do better. I am currently developing a new strategy in my plan of attack.

Don't Wait for Life-Changing Events

I always feel really silly when I (re)start a workout. Because I feel SO.GOOD when I am done. It's weird that I stopped in the first place. So today was official day one. My schedule is different than when I started the program. Now, I workout Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday doing the Chalene Extreme. Tomorrow is a rest day, but I am currently mapping out a safe route to bike in the a.m.

And now, after a healthy breakfast of Cinnamon Pecan cereal smothered in skim milk lol, I am snackin on frozen sliced strawberries. It wasn't planned for them to be frozen, but my fridge is a beast. But I actually kinda like them like this... kinda feels like a frozen treat. Might be on to something!

I did my workout at 8:30.. later than I planned to and my sun was up which made it more difficult cause he would try to crawl between my legs during my squats to be cute and problematic lol BUT I made it through it and I felt great... I'm also finally, finally using my SPARK PAGE and I'm not going to leave it unused again. It's also an app on my iPod Touch, so now there's absolutely NO EXCUSE for me not to track my stuff, get on it. What's ironic? I created my Spark Page almost a month to the day that I created this blog. Sense a pattern? So here we go... also there are several friends I actually know who are members also, so there's that accountability again. I must get it together ya'll... for me.

You know what I was thinking about yesterday? How complacent we women get in relationships. We fall into these new people who we're loving in this new euphoric state, but what I vow to do NOW, from this day forward (well I had already vowed, but now get to put it to the test) is to continue to keep/get myself together. Just because we're seeing someone doesn't mean we should stop our goals, dreams and plans. If anything, that person should make you strive harder, they should motivate you...

I did a little background on myself and everytime I've gotten fit, accomplished something it was after I'd left a significant relationship. Even when I got fit in 2005, it was after a breakup the previous fall. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In general, it's human nature to have epiphany's after major life changes/decisions... but I'm not gonna wait for something life-changing to happen before I do something to counter...


I am going to MAKE LIFE HAPPEN.

Dinner tonight...

Marinated broiled chicken breasts (low-sodium soy sauce, garlic powder and onion power) basted while broiling.

Sauteed asparagus in olive oil with red/white onion, celery, garlic and red pepper... pan sprayed with Pam olive oil

Brown rice

129 Days to Peace...

Today is the first day, of the rest of meh life... it sounds corny, but today... for me, it's true. I really need "a change gone come" around here. Having my sun 14 months ago really made me see a lot of things differently... and for him I was trying to make certain things work in my life that just aren't meant. I've had to refocus and center myself... but it is a seemingly difficult task with the wrong influences. Having him has truly changed me as a person, and I should follow suit in all things so that I can be the best mother he deserves. I'd like to believe I'm a good person, so why negativity always seems to find me, I am not sure. But today is the day I take more ownership of how things in MY life progress and keep them natural and positive and great. So with that said: I am instituting a sort of "challenge" for myself. There are exactly 129 days left until the first of 2009. (Nuts how fast this year went, but I digress.) So with these 129 days, I will take myself into my own personal "next level."

So of course, I have some goals.

1. Get Back Active: Exercise at least 3 times a week. It can be a walk, a bike ride, an exercise DVD, a dance class, whatever -- but I must get in at least three days.
~ I have registered to take my re-certification exam December 6, 2008 in Schaumburg.
~ Tone, tone, tone!

2. Remove 20 pounds... for good!
Genesis 1:29 ~ And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is on the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Coincidence of this Bible verse? I'm sure, but who cares. I need to get back to eating those whole-grain, organic, things of the earth and away from what I had started resorting to... more flesh than veggies, more processed junk that life foods, etc.

3. Enjoy life... enjoy my child... and let no one take this happiness, love from me.

4. Save some duckets. Buy a home. The goal is to buy a home early 2009.

My moment has arrived. I give thanks for all that encompasses me and has made me who I am today... but tomorrow is not promised, so I must begin to live for my present.

I recognize now that which is truly important... I abhor being stressed out. I look on with envy as certain friends of mine are always golden. Either they hide it well or they truly are happy inside out. I crave that. I will have that.

I want to be free. I sense the divine order of all things in my life approaching me... and I welcome it with open arms. And then I will release it unto you and others... let's spread positive energy.

John 1:29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

Rejoice with me! We just brought in Day One...

Jah Bless.