I am a TERRIBLE blogger.

I don't know why I do this.

Especially when it's been a whole damn year since I've touched this here blog. *smh* You may forgive me, but my thighs won't.

So much catching up to do, but if I do the whole thang, this blog will be too long to read so let me hit the hot spots.

I started a detox with the honey March 1. Since then I've went back and forth on getting fit and then not... I just came off a toe break so now I am back

...NO REALLY!

H-A-Double U-A-Eye-Eye!

"Ma$e can you please stop smokin La La? Puff why try, I'ma thug I'ma die high!"

Exactly 3 months till the honey and I venture to the islands of Hawaii for his 30th Bday and my MISSION is to be 20 lbs lighter. I often frown on deadline-oriented goals. Because even though they are effective, they can be damaging because people put back on the pounds directly after they are done traveling, with the engagement, ceremony or whatever special occasion it is. (I will NOT be one of those people.... no, but forreal. If anything this trip is just what I needed to get serious.)

The Y had a special on summer memberships again, so I got in on that. $25 a month for the family and I to use any Y in the Metro Chicago area. I will be focusing on 10,000 steps a day, a morning workout via Chalene Extreme (starting Sunday morning), lunchtime workouts that started this week, evening strolls with my Soror and our youth on Mondays and Wednesdays (resuming next week, the weather has sucked this week - Midwest-like "tornado" yesterday and all) and a couple evening workouts at my neighborhood Y on lighter days. In all 6 days of working out, but one is more Tai Chi/Yoga/Stretch related so it's really a "rest day" too. I wrote it all out yesterday. In addition, I will still be following the good health guidelines of WW.. no fad diets for me. I will also be participating in a couple Mommy and Me classes they offer with my sun. Gymnstics and Kiddie Groove to name a couple!

All that being said, my MISSION is 20 lbs but I will be more than satisfied with 12-16 (you know weight loss is a strange beast) but I'm confident 20 won't be too far a stretch. In addition, in Hawaii, I WILL be 1. wearing bikinis (I've already started to look for them because this will make sure I don't overeat; can't be walking round Hawaii with a big ol gut!) 2. doing activities that don't just involve lying on the beach (I've already purchased a hiking excursion, debating on another because it takes a great part of one day away from us... but it has waterfalls!) and 3. using the fitness center. Plus 4. enjoying in-room activities.

Super excited. I've never been to Hawaii before... and I hear it's expensive, but well worth the visit. We'll both be 30, it's time to start living life and enjoying all its blessings. Right, bra? (a lil Hawaii slang... just cuz!)

The storm is over now... let some sunshine in.

Get On My Level

"Water seeks its own level." ~ExH.I.T.

Greetings and Salutations! (I've always wanted to "say" that... not sure why.) I come to you a very content woman today as I progress in all facets. Officially 10 pounds lighter, I now can really feel like I am taking steps in the right direction of where my place in this life is going. I am pleased to be making adjustments and doing daily work with someone on my level.

Working as a team is pretty OK, I'm learning... doing away with the selfishness of the past and moving toward a future is healthy and progressive and, I'm learning, a lot of fun. It's nice to stop focusing on the small stuff, and entrust that to Jehovah that he will take care of it in his time, but to keep my mind focused on the big things and keep enjoying where I am in this space and time. I love it. Recently, the mister and I have started working out... together.

"The best way to enhance a relationship is to lead a healthy lifestyle -- as a couple." ~ Jillian (That Deal) Michaels (I adore Jillian... I may have a teeny girl crush on her... teeny.)

It's different and liberating for me to have gone back to leading a healthy lifestyle while in a life with someone... before I've always done it when I kick someone to the curb, get my sexy back as a single girl... then get in a relationship and lose myself in him with date nights, alcohol-infused functions, lazy Saturdays and just being in love and happily fat and all that... so it was nice to get the gumption to return to WW while in a couple, and then see him take an interest in getting himself back young and fit as well. Very cool stuff. Of course now, that adds a bit of pressure for me because EVERYBODY knows men lose weight much faster than we do, so I would be lying if I didn't say, he pushes me because when I want to have a honey bun for breakfast and he chooses Total, I get back on my mental ya dig. Granted, neither of us is (fortunately) anywhere close to being like a gastric candidate or anything, but it's amazing just the energy you get back from doing just a little bit more than you did last week, yesterday... and the different things you have energy for and how it enhances you.

"When you're feeling strong and confident, you also feel a lot sexier—and that'll boost your sex life." ~J. Michaels

I have been getting the baby itch lately... my poor sun wants to see his friends, his cousins, anyone he can to play with... but I cannot, will not, enter into another pregnancy overweight (or unmarried for that matter but mostly overweight) because I just can't keep doing this back and forth anymore with my health. I've got to prove to myself that I AM in control of my own body.
"Make a woman feel like she's the hottest, most feminine person in the world and she'll love you..." I like that one Jillian... to the same effect as women, doing the work to make ourselves healthier and feeling inside that will exude that femininity, brew that sexiness, and we will (more importantly) love OURSELVES... I love myself you guys!!!

I know and understand that there's ways to enjoy life and the things I want in a pair without sacrificing my temple ANY longer. It's just... nice... sure it has it's scary parts and plot twists here and there, but watching the "fairytale" unfold is definitely making me a lot more level-headed.

Photo Source: http://www.geo.uu.nl/fg/palaeogeography/pictures/results_fluvialstyle/02_Meanderende_rivier.jpg

Take (Self) Care

(Editor's Note: I'm coming off two weeks of very little/sporadic rest, strep throat, a missed budget, and lots of work...)

So yesterday I walked past my mirror and caught a glimpse of myself... I was not pleased. Not only did my skin look blah and drab, but my hair looked dry and I looked fat (yet happy -- like literally, I was walking past singing a song very loudly and with a smile on my face, saw myself and my smile faded)... life has been really good as of late, yet my body shows a different story. So, I took a vow (didn't I already DO that??) to do better.

Money can be soooo tight sometimes, I often forget to take care of myself. After that mirror glimpse it dawned on me that in recent months, I stopped getting my regular mani/pedis, I'd went several more weeks than my normal four for retwisting my roots, I hadn't gotten my eyebrow maintenance, I'd put on a few pounds, I wasn't drinking much water, I hadn't washed my truck in Jehovah knows how long.... *sigh*

All very interesting seeing as how, I'm -- well I was -- the girl who wouldn't go so much as to the grocery store without making sure I was on the top of my game... maybe not stilettos and booty jeans for a store run but definitely cognisant of looking good and feeling my best. I haven't done that lately. Today, my sweetheart treated my car to a carwash. He called me and asked me to meet him there where he was getting his car done and grateful to not have it looking a mess, I immediately went. Throwing on an old pair of Adidas to top off my black lounge pants, I wrapped myself in muh black bubble Eddie Bauer and tied up my scarf... and headed out.

I got there and after we'd both finally got in, I went to sit next to him. In walks the chick that used to be me, dressed to impress even if only to go to the car wash. And I started to think.... what the HECK has happened to me?? I can't even blame it on being a mommy, cause as we all should by know, I've always deemed myself MILF status ever since I was good and pregnant.... but I've allowed my weight to literally control my mood. I'm not imaginative with my work wardrobe anymore... just kinda go with the flow. Since I'm on my feet all day, I avoid wearing heels often... I gave lots and lots of my shoes away to charity because I was originally to buy a bus load more... never happened... so, I went to buy some clothes for myself to give myself a boost in the right direction today... nothing huge, just a bit of retail therapy for my mood that matches my skin.

Ladies, have you been there before? In that spot where you just don't feel like yourself? How did you fix the problem? Or was it just an issue for the moment? I mean, really, sometimes I'm so bored and want to go out, but don't feel I look right in ANYTHING I put on. I used to know I was the hottest thing on my King's arm, lately I wonder if I don't get invited to something is it because he thinks I look drab too. lol... I laugh cause I'm serious.

I recently wrote a blog about us (ladies) not losing sight of ourselves in order to do our part to keep The Black Family strong and the excitement in our relationships.

In gist, I'm not feeling my normal overly confident self and I hate it... and I know it's something serious because I'm not even bleeding and I feel this way... for my guy readers, that means it's not the PMS talking. So consider this my two weeks notice. I'm going to start looking how I feel (which is really a whole other story in itself, does that mean when I was looking my very best I was secretly masking being unhappy?? Lawd... so many unanswered questions!) and taking charge of myself in the best of times and the worst of times...

Brings me back to the discussion (can't find the link) about how I am most motivated to lose weight and stay in shape when I am single and looking... ridiculous. I'm not announcing it to the world or anything, but I've got to get it together... I'm on it. No, seriously. It's time to be a little bit selfish.... cause how can I be the best mom and woman if I don't take care of myself first? I'm pretty dope at both now, so just imagine if I looked and felt I looked my best. I'm just adding some perspective... for myself.

Sometimes it's useful to be a little selfish and introspective otherwise you may just find yourself living someone else's life, achieving someone else's dreams or driving down a road with no destination or end game. ~ The Ripple Effect (Blog)

Photo Sources: http://www.wellspouse.org
http://rainbow120.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/self-esteem-training.jpg

Gotta Keep on Keepin On..

My life is hella funny.

The things I care about most seem to never be aligned at the same time, or if they are, for very long.

I dunno why that is... but I can't dwell on it either. You know? Like I can't wallow. I can't beg and plead for it to act right... I can only count on me.

I can't believe it's October. September ran right by. And I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to either.

During that month (my previous post) I touched on how my life was about to experience a lot of change, for the better. I started a new job (which I love) and had a lot of training (that hasn't yet ended) and trips and long days. My sun started school and that was a whole new experience for me. And then you throw in family life and trying to keep a house together... oy. My finances are still QUITE problematic, as I play catch-up and "oh man, I really can't pay that" lol but I am hoping things will turn around sooner than later. But don't get me wrong, it's very nice to have a steady paycheck coming in... starting this Thursday.

Work was a bit frustrating because NONE of my equipment was showing up. I just got an email last week. But still don't have my Blackberry, which will help organize my life.. a LOT. My Outlook calendar will be a busy, fun mess! But I need my stuff. I feel so... incomplete. I hope to be able to stop by the office in the a.m. on my way out to yet more training to pick it up, but we shall see. But I am truly, truly ready to have control again... I just don't know why I can't have it right now. I was doing SO well before my knee blew out. I am determined to get back there with more on my daily schedule. A truly committed person can make it work with a full day or nothing on her calendar at all. I gotta find my game face!

I've gotta stop procrastinating!

Like today, I've sat around all day. Had an emotional argument, break down, followed by complete confidence/dismissive attitude and then did NOTHING for the rest of the day. Didn't get our clothes ironed laid out, no lunches made, and now it's 10:37 CST. WTF..

I have GOT to do betta. Or I am just gonna continue to .... flail.

I need to be packing a lunch, EVERYDAY. This way I won't be eating whatever, in a rush. Granted when out of town or in training this is hard, because the meals are planned for me... but still. Where there is a plan, there is a will to win.

Furthermore, my whole job is based on making my own schedule, filling my own calendar. I am normally very organized... I just need to stop bullshitting... yes. There. I said it.

I know that I can DO it... no matta WHAT my day looks like. I CAN make good choices.. live my life, but in a healthy fashion, following my healthy lifestyle.

My team captain said it best: "I have the choice what I do with my spare 30 minutes. I have the choice what I put in my mouth. I have the choice how I react to stressful situations or emotions that arise. I am in control of my health."

(Oh ee oh, dancin in) September Epiphany

Well hello there! I'm still here... feelin fat and what not.

I've been on a celebratory binge to enjoy getting a job offer on Friday. In RETROSPECT, I did it a lot more controlled than I normally would. So for that, I am proud of myself. But I'm really trying to get back to business as usual.

Tomorrow, I'm gonna try out a run. On my knee. Pray for me.

This will be a very busy week for me planning meals, getting together a schedule I'm comfortable with, researching a YMCA near my (new) job for lunchtime workouts, getting a cooler for my car to house my food and snacks for the day, researching day cares and the like... it's cool cause for the first time in a long time, I find myself pulling out a gym bag from the storage area for lunchtime workouts... This is going to work, pun intended.

With September upon me... I must focus. I think getting a schedule about my day will help immensely. Now if only my (new) supervisor would call me about the lunch date we're supposed to have to discuss particulars. I'm too excited about this opportunity for it to fall through now... soooo... come on. I'll call him in the morning to see if we're still on.

In the meantime, I have two other day cares to check out tomorrow. Hopefully, will be able to make my choice by Friday.

I'm really, really excited about all that's going on... and I feel really good about the progress I'll make. Before when I wasn't working, working out was my sanctuary and then it was taken from me with the knee stuff... but now it will be an addition to my actual LIFE. Hopefully... oyee... call me back! haha

30 x 30 Challenge
So today is the first of my favorite month ~ September. I adore fall... and it is the welcome to it. I am determined to center my chi and focus to drop (not lose, because when you lose things you ultimately find them) 30 pounds to my goal weight. Exactly 19 weeks to my 30th birthday. And I have a plan in mind... I wish I could stay in reflective mode ALL DAY because that is when I am my best. I really miss my runs, so I AM going to get up in the morning and give one a good old try.. and pray like hell it doesn't hurt or irk.

SO.. I'm gonna keep it to 1200-1350 calories.. I'm going to see about getting through the months of September with no red meat or pork and no more than 4 oz of meat a day. Lots of fruit and veggies.

A (hopeful) C25K run 3 times a week.

Strength training through Chalene Extreme... MUST get through this 3-month program.

When all is said and done... my goals will come into existence but I definitely need to:

1. Stop getting down on myself when I do slip.
2. Turn every negative into a positive until the negatives disappear.
3. BELIEVE in myself.
4. Learn how to control my impulses and celebrations.

Through a steady routine of running and strength training... I must emerge.

I'm tired ya'll... tired of not living to my potential. Tired of not being the size I'm supposed to be... the health I deserve... the energy I need... but I can't continue to talk about it. In fact... I'm tired of that too. It's time for action. And I know I have had epiphany's before... or thought I did... but I'm seriously done... talking.

Time for some action.

This September of 2009 is the beginning of my new life, a healthier life with my sun, my love and working hard for the things I want to keep me grounded.

Time for some action.

This Stops... Right NOW!

My thoughts today were like my bloated tummy... bulging out my head like my muffin top was over my loser jeans. And then it went from thoughts of bloat to laze, then laze to loser... Well, dammit, as of now, I lose no more.


As I am changing my life and diet and health (yay) I have come to terms with my "issues."

The number one issue: my tummy.

In high school I had a "glimpse of a four pack." I was a dual athlete and still didn't have a six-pack of perfect abs. So now as a near-30-year-old mom, I have pretty much set my sights on never... ever... having the stomach I really, really want. BUT, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. But what I am noticing is, my stomach is a lot kinder when I eat the right foods. For about five days I lived with a flat tummy... I had one bad day yesterday scarfing down cakes and popcorn and carbo loading and the bloat is back... could there be something to eating right that might get me THE tummy I want? (Whoooaaaa there ya go, Einstein!)

I saw on The View this morning that when you have a baby your stomach muscles tear something like 20% during and after childbirth. And the chances of getting your tummy back up to par are very slim AND that if you really want that to happen the sooner you start your post-partum exercises, the better.... ummmmm well, my sun is 2. lol Sooooo that pretty much is a big ol kick in the jaw for your girl. I am LATE. lol AND I haven't been on my best behavior for two years either, so this is really, really bad news. Ha!

At annny rate... I'm still going to give it an old-fashioned try. I felt like a complete and utter loser after munching on all that stuff yesterday. Even sadder? I KNEW I would. Seriously. I kid you not, on IM with my homegirl while baking the cake I said, and I quote: I know I'm gonna feel like sh*t afterwards... but I'm gonna eat it anyway.

Really hormones? Is this the score? Self sabotage is a BIA! I mean... truly. How could I just not.care? Then today it all made sense. This is what I have always done... not.care. Well, I'm done not caring... ESPECIALLY about myself. I'm done putting myself behind everything and everybody. I'm taking a mini-vacation the second weekend of September. I'm gonna go to Wisconsin for Fit Fest and earn some CECs by participating in some fun, healthy activity. I'm gonna research some walking trails while there and just spend some time doing for ME. In nature, with like-minded people and the goal is to be even smaller (5 lbs less, a couple inches here and there).

I told my Hot 2 Trot Cutie teammates today that I want my house in the shape it's SUPPOSED to be in by Sept. 1. And I will get it there. All the updates done, floors cleaned and waxed, shelving up, closet finished. I'm starting this fall with a clear mind, top-shape home and a new me... when smaller aspects in your life are in order, the rest flows better.

As apart of The Biggest Loser Challenge (8-weeks) that ended today I lost 9 lbs! 25 more and I'm at the middle of my goal range... the time is now. No more dumb-ass binges... no more sabotage... no more silliness. It's time... time for me to start becoming the best me. I am not perfect nor will I ever be, but I'm tired of causing the issues. Causing the trouble. Tired of bloating... tired of moping... tired of not living to my potential. I've been holding my own self back.

This laziness has got to go. Don't we deserve to be our BEST?

Let's start putting self ... first. Because when we're happy, everything else will fall into place and we can be who we need to be for the ones we love, the jobs we frequent, best contributors to our places of worship... guaranteed! We're so brainwashed into thinking we can't do something... we don't. Let's STOP thinking like this. Stop defeating ourselves before we even try. I CAN have a great stomach. I can take charge of my healthy life. I know I will. Will you?

Weekly Reflection... Percentages... Injured Randomness...

So with weigh-in upon me... this day has been an energetic ride uphill... hard. I've been reflecting since I woke up from my late nap (6 p.m.) My food tracking has been kinda shady and sporadic the last couple days. And I got on the scale and saw a number I didn't appreciate despite seeing a number I appreciated yesterday. Now, because I know it's not always good to weigh yourself everyday, and ESPECIALLY not different times everyday, I wasn't trippin too much on the numbers/difference but it DID make me wonder about how truly committed to this I am. With a sore knee pickin at me since Tuesday, I've wondered about everything about it from it being a simple sprain that will fade with time to an injury that will be with me for the rest of my life. I immediately (in my world) was angry with myself because well, our knees suffer from the pressure of our body weight more than any other joint. And here I am 30 lbs heavier than I should be. Of course my poor knee is gonna whine. *sigh* Then I thought about my poor tracking.. knowing how important it is to journal food... how could I let this fall by the wayside? I want to be in MAINTENANCE MODE by the winter... how in the heck can I get there if I am not committed EVERYDAY?

So I started thinking, what percentage am I giving?

Anyone can log a thousand fitness minutes a week but if that person is still eating trash... the results will be less than stellar.

Likewise, if one is eating clean without any activity, you'll see the difference but muscle tone and strength and overall health are lessened...

These two are interchangeable... and once I really realize that, perhaps that is when I will really start to morph and see that. I have to learn to balance life, love and all that's in between for myself... to get to 100% committed. Nothing less than that will do. With that said, I've decided to start sharing my food trackers. Not that anyone will really read them, but knowing that someone might... perhaps that'll keep me accountable.

Blah... It seems I'm in a mood.

Blame the "injury"... reflections eternal.

August Attack

With a new month upon us (man, this year is really flying by... I'll be 30 before I know it) I thought it time to re-establish my goals and see what I am doing here. I want to be 165 by September 1. That's gonna take work, commitment, and will power. But I really know I can do it. Not only because I've done it before, but because well, I have to!

But this time is different. Not because it'll be the last time I ever have to make this dance (because believe me, it will be!) but because my body is different. As you know, I have a 2 y/o so I truly believe that my new after-baby body is a little more... stubborn to let the weight go. I need to be disciplined if I am going to persevere. As I've mentioned I am already redirecting my mindset to a healthier living. I just bought more brown rice instead of white and have all whole wheat pastas, breads... and I would have whole-wheat crackers but I wanna finish the Ritz I bought (which claim to be whole wheat but are less than 1g of fiber) quite irritating lol.

At any rate, I did well under my max calories first day of the month. I didn't workout today as planned deciding to take a rest day. I'll be up early for my morning run on the treadmill starting week 4. That's right... week 4! :) I've decided it's time to move forward. I still don't have new new-shoes but my new ones and I are meshing a lot better these days. So I'm gonna check it out and see what happens on those 5-minute intervals.

Day in... day out.
I need a routine for my routine. I have accepted the fact that adult life (hell, life in general) comes with a routine, but have not made the routine work for me to the best of it's ability. It is my ultimate goal to be blessed to wake up January 12 as an even more beautiful, 30-year-old, 140-lb woman, with beautiful teeth, hair, skin, nails and a muscular, toned defined runner's body. And I will. Because I always get what I want and work hard for.

Today began a series of events that is going to reshape me from head-to-toe.... inside out.

I finally, finally replenished my Hair, Skin and Nails vitamin but I went with a different brand. I kept missing GNC operation hours so decided to get it from Dominick's where I went to buy low-fat Coffee ice cream for my Mocha shake (167 cals) I made. (Thanks Weight Watchers cook books!) I also bought (because it was on sale) the Nivea body Good-bye Cellulite 30-Day Body Beauty Program.

I realize you can't get rid of cellulite but these creams and massages are supposed to decrease the appearance of it. Since I don't have a lot of cellulite (and because it was only $10) I thought it would be a cool monthly experiment. It also comes with a little dietary supplement of conjugated linoleic acid and L-Carnitine . So tomorrow I'm gonna take some pictures and see where that leads me come day 30. See if I notice any change or if I just donated $11 and some change to the Nivea fund. :) With this supplement, that will leave me taking 5 pills a day... oyeee... but it's worth it. Just imagine if I could take a pic of my insides? We could see the change over time... but we'll see it on the outside. We all know great health starts from the inside out. From the food we eat and water and nutrients we ingest, we transform our body on the outside with a little sweat of course.

Plan of Attack:
I have decided to go to NETA Fit Fest the second weekend of September to finally lock in the rest of my first re-certifications and get.it.done. By then, it is my hope to be as CLOSE to 160 as possible. Then I will immediately start looking for teaching jobs. Immediately. It is time.

Basic Schedule:
(It's a lot more detailed then this, but here's the public version)
Sunday
C25K 30 minute morning run training
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push Ups

Monday
60-90-minutes of cardio

Tuesday
C25K 30-minute morning run training
30-60 minutes of cardio
10 push ups

Wednesday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen

Thursday
C25K 30 minute morning training

Friday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push ups

Saturday
(rest)

Inches Lost

"You thought you had me defeated... then I started a disappearing act."
~ Me to the scale this morning after doing body measurements

So when I got up this early a.m. I didn't feel like I should weigh-in because I didn't have that same feeling as last week. Even though I had a really great week, I didn't... feel lighter. It's hard to explain... BUT there are 12 or so active girls depending on me to do so.. they motivate me everyday and I need to do it for the challenge, but also myself so I can start game planning for the upcoming week.

All week I've been dealing with the gas issues that come with rectifying your digestive system when you're eating right so I've felt heavy and bloated some days even though I burned more calories this week than previous ones. Either way tho, I had a really good workout yesterday and the day before AND Tuesday, so I opted to focus on the positive. As apart of the STFS Challenge, I decided to measure myself for the mid-challenge goals. And was pleased to see I'd erased several (as in more than four) inches from my body. It was a nice feat since sometimes (as I am sure we all know by now) the scale is unforgiving.

I still haven't moved from 170-ville, but I know it's coming and until the next time we meet, Scale. But know this. Every time we do, I'm coming at you with all that I have.

It's on. I am SO DONE with you.

Show Stoppin & Goal Watchin

"Week four, I'm coming for you.." she said as she walked Shaft-like out the gym like a car had exploded behind her.

If only I'd had on a leather trench coat and shades.

Show Stopping
I completed W3D5 today. And I must admit, it didn't hurt. My shin splint started to whisper, but I was actually feeling QUITE comfy during the 3-minute interval and I even ran the last two minutes of the 20, when I normally run 90 seconds as suggested and walk for the last 30 then I stretch. Today I ran the time out and then did a semi-brisk 3-minute walk of my 5 minute cool down. I spent another song length stretching... "Sexy Can I!?"

I've finished my first liter of water and had a filling breakfast. I took my Pers' advice and had a banana before my workout and an apple nearly immediately after and then ate a 100-calorie (really 110 cals) whole wheat bagel with some honey nut cream cheese. Then I logged my food. I originally made two bagels. After the first I "no longer felt hungry" but this time in traditional NON-me fashion, I didn't eat till I felt STUFFED. I felt satisfied with the one, so I put the other in a snack baggie in the fridge. I am SO proud of myself. I can have it later, in a couple hours, if I choose as my mid-morning snack. Tho, I think I will go with a peanut butter slice.

Given how this morning worked out, I think I will round off this week with Thursday and Saturday as my extended days 6 and 7 and then finally move on to week 4 on Monday. Hoo-ah!?

Week 4, in sure to — in short — will be a DOOZY.. longer runs that can last up until 5 minutes and less walk time overall. So that's gonna be new territory. I plan to stick to that week for about 2-3 weeks as well depending on how I feel. Conditioning, conditioning, conditioning, remember? I gotta do it...

Turns out my scheduled 5K in November (I was originally debating about October or even September) is the perfect time to run a 5K for me. Because, even though I'll be done with the weekly training way before then by standard week-by-week but with me spending more time on weeks I will be less likely to fail because I'm conditioned properly. And I'll still get some time to check out the 5K training program on the treadmill (so curious about what that's like) and even running outdoors (because as we all know the experiences are vastly different).

So, time to wrap up week three and move further in my journey because I felt really good this a.m. My shin splint didn't complain much at all.. so I'd venture to say the conditioning and taking my TIME is paying off and my calves and shins are getting more stronger.

I have been really upping my cardio and activity in various ways as to not get bored. Currently the bulk of my strength training is coming from boxing and push ups for the arms/upper body, and squats/lunges for lower body. My cardio has been consisting of C25K training, walking, elliptical trainer and Turbo Jam. In fact, later this evening I have a 3.8-mile evening walk.

Goal Watchin
As part of my goals I am really trying to beef up my daily activity and do it consistently for 5-6 days of the week. I want to get in at least 90 minutes of activity a day. With 30 minutes in the morning this should be an easier task than it sounds.

I'm also trying to track my food consistently and eat b/t 1200-1350 calories a day. My SP caloric range goes up to 1550 (I think) daily, but I'm never trying to eat that high. I think it's seriously putting a damper on my progress and eating more calories on my "heavier workout days" as often recommended in many books I read is doing nothing but making me heavier on those days. So I'm just gonna keep taking my vitamins and eat best for you foods of fresh produce leeeean proteins and whole grains. Try to stay away from the packaged stuff etc. and see where that puts me in a month.

As apart of one of the challenges I'm in it's time to measure soon, so it will be VERY interesting to see what I've done and what I NEED to do to get it done if I haven't done enough. Seen?

Off to clean the house... speak soon. I hope you're grabbing like by the horns and enjoying an active ride.

Pictured:
1. Check out the intervals in Weeks 4 and 5
2. My free T-shirt from my Y for completing 15 workouts... 1 mo to go!

Lucky Number Month 7

Well... it certainly is difficult trying 2 do it all & be a great mom too! But I'm doing it!! :)

After joining the Y, I have really been concentrating and making low-cal recipes. I been making large meals that last, quick meals that fill us up and making love to my Crockpot so that I always have a healthy lunch/dinna & stay away from takeout.

I been substituting fat free milk (and hell, getting a milk serving period) for 2%, eating more egg whites than yolk, counting calories (admittedly need to fine tune this) and trying best to stay away from restaurant food, though we MAY have a restaurant meal here and there. I am eating smaller portions (and getting full on them) and getting my exercise on usually in the A.M.

The Chicago Y's have a really nice summer special that I had to take part in, and if I don't get to the gym in the a.m. to hit up the elliptical and treadmill real quick, I try to make it up with an afternoon workout or something at home for a total of 5 workouts a week and 3 strength training.

I am also finding exercise in other things I do (laundry, bike riding, outdoor walks and hikes, house cleaning etc) cause man, climbin stairs from the laundry room with 4 lb. weighted gloves & 4lbs attached to each ankle is real and it's deep! As ya'll know, I really jus got started again (4 real) at the beginning of June; I am proud to announce I'm down 5 lbs.:) New tattoo I'ma comin! (See previous goals post for details).

I hope U all r doin the damn thang as well!

I've attached a couple pics of my meals I've made:


Pork and Apple Stir fry:
This had so many yummy vegetables in it.
It was so pretty! And tasty.

Herbed Turkey Stuffed Bell Peppers:

A one stop meal of protein, starch (rice),
and veggies.

Slender, Sexier, SO-healthy Sanni 2009 and Beyond

"To feel 'fit as a fiddle', you must tone down your middle."

~ Unknown

So after finally a month of being more consistent on Spark People for good.. I can say I am finally in a groove. And thought it was time to detail my goals so I know specifically what it is I am going to accomplish over the next 6.5 months (till my 30th birthday).

A little background...

I was a dual athlete all four years of high school and for my freshman year of undergrad. While working full time and in school for my master's at 24, I started reclaiming my athletic body by going to workout faithfully, everyday on my lunch break for an hour. In doing so I trimmed off near 50 pounds I'd packed on during my stagnant years. I also went on to get certified in group fitness.

I moved back home to Chicago for a job opp in 2006, fell in love, got with my partner, got comfortable, gained weight, had a baby in 2007, let my certs lapse and here I am. lol While, I haven't gained all my previous weight back, I am certainly not my previous weight and I aim to get back to that and better.

I love my body/frame because I wear my weight extremely well. People rarely know that I weigh as much as I do, unless I tell them. I know I have a lot of hidden stallion-like muscles under this thickness. I will bring em out, and KEEP em out, before 2009 comes to a close to enter my 30s with no extra weight upon my heart and soul.

There are a total of 28 weeks and 5 days to the day of my born day and exactly 29 weeks to my anticipated weekend celebration. My goal is to be met and maintained by my bday tho. If I consistently lose a simple pound or two a week, I'll be at my goal weight. Sounds simple enough right? lol It's gonna take mad determination, calculated movements and strict by-the book seriousness. I am ready. I haven't felt this ready since 2004 when I got tired climbin up to my 3rd floor apartment and knew a change needed to come and quick. Luckily, I am not as in bad of shape as I was then... so failure this time is not an option.

Goal weight: 138-140... I would like to be 140 pounds or lower. Until further notice. I was 125-130 in high school, so I think 140 is a good, realistic weight to shoot for (in 2006 before I started gaining I was 10 pounds heavier). After accessing my physical appearance and how I feel, IF I want to get back to my high school weight when I get there, I'll work on skimming away those last 10. But we'll see. I wanna keep my assets if you kno what I mean. I was also a B cup in high school and nobody wants that. lol And by nobody, I mean me.

The Program:
Eat five to six small meals a day, drink more than eight glasses of water and workout 5 days a week.

• 8+ glasses of water a day
• 5+ servings of veggies/fruits a day
• 5 days of at least 45 minutes of cardio
• 3 days of strength training
• Track caloric intake and don't go over it; try best to get all the nutrients I need
• Have a healthy breakfast of SOME sort, every morning
• Award myself to the goals
• Surround myself with positive people who know my struggle and support me

Basic Goals

1. Weigh less than 140 pounds
2. Get body fat to 20-22%
3. Get Fitness Certifications
4. Start personal training and fitness instruction business

My 2009 G&R (goals and rewards):

Goal: Weight 165 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: Get thigh tattoo sleeve expanded..

Goal: Weight 150 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: Mini shopping spree

Goal: Weight 140 *~*Achieved: ???
Reward: A trip to an exotic place I've never been

Goal: Body fat 25% *~* Achieved: ???
Reward: New workout gear (bras, shoes, shorts, yoga pants etc.)

Goal: Size 10 Pants *~* Achieved: ???
Reward: ACE Certification

Goal: First 5K Competitive Race *~* Completed: ???
Reward: Small weekend getaway

Please check out my fitness/health blog where I talk about my struggles, share articles and eventually client consultations:
http://glamourousglutesgamsandguns.blosp
ot.com

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it."
~ Plato

"Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it."

~ Plato

Analyze. Strategize: The Intro.

I found my fit girl "crush"... a 35-year-old single mother of two in St. Louis who lost like 50 lbs., got certified as an ACE personal trainer, is now a fitness writer and currently training to be a fitness model. At 35, she changed the game and took on a new job totally unrelated to her two degrees. In the midst of all the adversity she faces, she ventured out.. it inspires me and makes me ashamed. Ashamed that I am SUCH a procrastinator. When the eff did I get sooo stagnant? So lazy? SO careless. I was in my iPhoto just staring at pics of how this...*pinches self* came to be. And then I sat my period-laden butt up all week eating everything under the sun... real rude like. It's like I know what I want and continue to ruin and/or delay my destiny
...

WHY?!

So now I'm reflecting.

The other day I was lookin at myself in the mirror impressed with progress. I swore I saw a shrinking waistline... and then I sabotaged myself. I must, must, must do better. I am currently developing a new strategy in my plan of attack.

My Dangerous Kitchen

After a little prodding from Spark People, I decided to inspect my kitchen. I needed to clean out my fridge anyway because I had to figure out a comfortable temperature setting because it was freezing things. So I took this as a time to really examine what I had going on in my fridge, my cupboards and beyond. 

And they were right, I did have a lot of hidden pitfalls in there. Sour creams, sugar-based juices etc. And then there were not so bad food, but I still bagged them up. Like non whole wheat pasta and cereals and my white rice (gasp!). Yep. I did it. I finally, finally figured out a way to make brown rice that I am comfortable with and it doesn't taste God awful to me.  

"To have healthy habits and a healthier lifestyle, you first must live in a healthy environment.

This is so true. I had already jump started this by making my workout closet. An organized place where I keep all my workout/fitness equipment so that it is always accessible and right there when I need it. I needed to take the same approach with my kitchen where the "fuel" is. Because I can be gung-ho about getting in shape, eating healthy... but unless I arm myself properly, I am sure to fail. I avoided eating late last night... my will power was strong but everyday isn't that easy.  

So I took stock to see what was going on in there.

Starting with the fridge, I threw away sour cream, all the spoiled fruit and veggies (obviously... shoulda been eating that!). I threw out the the ranch. Kept all my oil-based dressings though.

Start with the fridge and pantry. Focus on replacing sugary and high-calorie foods with whole grains and lower-calorie alternatives.

Spark People suggests:

• Learn to read food labels
  
• Buy a sturdy cutting board for all the fresh veggies you’ll be cutting up
  
• Get plenty of plastic bags and containers for portioning out prepared foods and storing healthy leftovers
  
• Collect healthy, quick recipes
  
• Toss out all those pizza coupons
  
• Get a few drinking bottles for keeping cold water in the fridge
  
• Put a bowl of fruit and granola/breakfast bars by the back door
  

The one's in red, I'm working on... 

And while we are still in the kitchen...

... learn where to spend your weight loss dollars. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, it takes more than reading a book or joining a gym. It really takes a lifestyle change of consistently picking up good habits and chucking old habits to the curb. Exchanging habits takes some time, so the smartest thing you can do is to make it easy on yourself. That means making it easy on your pocketbook too.

Here's a quick glance of what's in my kitchen.... and a couple recipes I adore... you're welcome lol

• quality knife
  
• vegetable peeler
  
• measuring cups
  
• scale
  
• calorie handbook
  
• portable containers
  
• snack size baggies
  

Here's how I reorganized my fridge: (pics to come)

• threw out fatty unhealthy choices
• washed and placed veggies at eye level
• made it convenient to eat healthy

Here are my healthy alternatives I brought in:

• butter spray, squeeze and Can't Believe It's Not Butter vs. actual butter or marjarine
  
• string cheese & individual cheese snack blocks
  
• egg whites - quick source of protein (I bowled and froze the egg whites from actual eggs... cheaper than buying them already separated.
  
• tuna packets (easy to just top on a bed of greens, no draining fuss)
  
• oil based salad dressing sprays (1 calorie per spray) 
  
• tofurkey slices (found some really good vegetarian lunch meat)
  
• fat-free yogurt, strawberries, apples
  
• low-fat cottage cheese (still not a big fan of this stuff but much like the brown rice movement, hoping for a revelation!)
  
• whole-grain/wheat pastas and starches 

How I organized my cupboards... What's in it? 

• high fiber/low carb whole-wheat bread
  
• cereal (high fiber/low cal)
  
• oatmeal packets
  
• put all snacks in separate snack bins (raw almonds, calorie snack packs, teas, etc)
• whole wheat pasta
  
• pre-packaged ingredients (dried cranberries, crushed almonds etc)
  
• sugar free chocolate pudding
  
• sugar free Jell-O
  
• Cool Whip
  
• whey protein powder mix
  

Waldorf Salad Spin-Off

1-cup green apples

1/2 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup crushed almonds

1-cup fat free yogurt

1 dash lemon juice

Sweet Treat

Sugar-free chocolate pudding

Sugar-free strawberry jello

1 Tbsp Cool Whip

1/2 cup fresh strawberries

Don't Wait for Life-Changing Events

I always feel really silly when I (re)start a workout. Because I feel SO.GOOD when I am done. It's weird that I stopped in the first place. So today was official day one. My schedule is different than when I started the program. Now, I workout Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday doing the Chalene Extreme. Tomorrow is a rest day, but I am currently mapping out a safe route to bike in the a.m.

And now, after a healthy breakfast of Cinnamon Pecan cereal smothered in skim milk lol, I am snackin on frozen sliced strawberries. It wasn't planned for them to be frozen, but my fridge is a beast. But I actually kinda like them like this... kinda feels like a frozen treat. Might be on to something!

I did my workout at 8:30.. later than I planned to and my sun was up which made it more difficult cause he would try to crawl between my legs during my squats to be cute and problematic lol BUT I made it through it and I felt great... I'm also finally, finally using my SPARK PAGE and I'm not going to leave it unused again. It's also an app on my iPod Touch, so now there's absolutely NO EXCUSE for me not to track my stuff, get on it. What's ironic? I created my Spark Page almost a month to the day that I created this blog. Sense a pattern? So here we go... also there are several friends I actually know who are members also, so there's that accountability again. I must get it together ya'll... for me.

You know what I was thinking about yesterday? How complacent we women get in relationships. We fall into these new people who we're loving in this new euphoric state, but what I vow to do NOW, from this day forward (well I had already vowed, but now get to put it to the test) is to continue to keep/get myself together. Just because we're seeing someone doesn't mean we should stop our goals, dreams and plans. If anything, that person should make you strive harder, they should motivate you...

I did a little background on myself and everytime I've gotten fit, accomplished something it was after I'd left a significant relationship. Even when I got fit in 2005, it was after a breakup the previous fall. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. In general, it's human nature to have epiphany's after major life changes/decisions... but I'm not gonna wait for something life-changing to happen before I do something to counter...


I am going to MAKE LIFE HAPPEN.

Dinner tonight...

Marinated broiled chicken breasts (low-sodium soy sauce, garlic powder and onion power) basted while broiling.

Sauteed asparagus in olive oil with red/white onion, celery, garlic and red pepper... pan sprayed with Pam olive oil

Brown rice

Sept. 10, 2007....

In 6 days, it will be June 10... three months from two years ago when I started this blog. And healthwise, I have accomplished very, very little in comparison to what I was supposed to have accomplished. But I did a lot of thinking and self evaluation in April and May, and June, the start of a new season (summer) is always the best time to bring fruition to ideas and goals.

When is it time to really stop bs'ing and get in your right mind?

Life as an adult is soooo routine, so wouldn't it be smart to make it be the BEST routine for you vs. letting the day waste away without accomplishments? I vow to make the most of my routine days. Life keeps on passing us by... we have to do better.

I mean, as we get older our health (by nature) deteriorates. So it is only smart to get on the good foot and get ourselves together. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, some positive and uplifting and some not so positive (i.e., what's the point of trying to recertify myself in fitness when other people in the business my age have been consistently doing it for years or are much younger than me?) But I can't be discouraged by those kindsa thoughts... if anything I need to prove to myself that I can finally finish this task... I mean seriously, if I count my original payment plus each $25 delay fee, I have probably paid near $800 to take this damn test in all... lol funny but incredibly... sad.

I was telling a couple of my favorite homegirls that by 30, I really need to have it completely together. With a "new" relationship on the horizon, I still do all the things I was once doing as to not lose myself. I am still getting out the house. Still very active with my Meetup.com groups via community service, health and fitness, professional groups and sister circles. So when I can steal away (and I have been making time to make sure I do) I have been doing that. I get so caught up in family life sometimes, and how to maintain it for my youth, that I forget that there are sooo many things I want to do. Still... at the "old" age of 29 and some change.

There's ... something more that is supposed to be done while I am here. On this earth. Less dramatically, in Chicago. I just have to focus. I completed The Master Cleanse... the one act that calls for serious, serious focus and determination. Surely I can change the path I am on to be even MORE positive.

So I have a plan of action for the next three months: that starts today. Well, really yesterday (June 3).

• Tone up / Lose 15 lbs. And keep it off by making time to work out 5 days a week.

• Study for my exam. Take the test. Pass. :) And look for teaching jobs for the elderly, youth, water aerobics etc.

• Love more... worry less. This is easier said than done but doable still the same.

• Fix my diet. Consume more fruits and vegetables.

• Stick to the budget. With the kids going on summer break, I will be on a very tight budget but if God willing, I will be able to still have a suitable "income" coming in but one that will also allot me the time in my schedule I will need to really get myself (back) together.

But hey, I can post all the bullet points in the world but only a PLAN will make sure I adhere to them. So I will post everyday on how I stuck to the plan that day be it my food intake, my regimen and my good thoughts.

Moving on... but not really:

I love Special K cereal, and was thinking about this Special K Challenge over the weekend. Not so much because I think it's the end-all, be-all of healthy weight loss, I realize it's not... but I was thinking of trying this out for a guinea pig purpose... but I mean, well, if I lose an inch (or six pounds) off my waste that would be cool too. They guarantee at least an inch on the commercials and I must admit I am rather curious. The "challenge" has undergone some slight tweaks since they first introduced it years back... I do remember trying it before but it didn't quite stick. I think because then they didn't have other flavors and I couldn't put sugar on my cereal cause that wasn't part of the plan. Hence why it didn't work for me at all... but now they have snack bars, protein shakes, waffles and a bigger variety of cereals. I was thinking of making a little test experiment out of it... I mean, I've done The Master Cleanse for 1o days... so everything else should be simple, right? lol And I was thinking I could use my Fat Smash detox guidelines for the one meal a day to really drive it home.
What say you?

I debate and debate about it, but I really do need something to shock my system while I am doing my workouts. Working out and eating whatever is not a good balance, but I've found (based on my 2005/06 get fit plan) that when I worked out, filling myself with better for me foods I had a lot more energy. Um, yeah, I know, duh!

I do like Special K, but in general I am not a cereal for breakfast person. I know if I am going to be my best healthy self I need to get over that. BUT since I can't make/won't spend time in the kitchen making egg white omelets and thangs everyday, I need to find a delicate balance. SO I bought some Special K Vanilla Almond and Special K Cinnamon Pecan :)

A nice huge salad some days for lunch or days where I have cereal & fruit for lunch I can make a big bowl of sauteed spinach (my sauteed spinach is fye (fire)!) or red beans and (brown) rice... so long as it's part of the fat smash menu. I think I might be able to make it! My baby's birthday is June 15, so I think that's a nice round numba to see where my progress is from today. Tomorrow, I will resume my Chalene Extreme... and stay the course this time... for real. Utilize that book of yummy recipes she suggests. I'm such a loser sometime... stop spending money on these things and not getting the full benefit, crazy!! *rolls eyes at self*

It's all so frustrating really to know that in 2006 when I returned here, I was extremely fit and still looking to lose like 20 pounds trying to adhere to industry standards... this is where my new recentered self will come into play... keeping me grounded in reality.

So, a typical day will go like this:
Times are estimates and will vary obviously... but the GOAL is to try and stick as close to the times as possible to not only create a rhythm and habit that my body is used to, but also make sure I utilize all the time in my days, positively and wisely.

6 a.m.: Morning rise and prayer
6:30 a.m.: Workout
7:30 a.m.: Breakfast
10:30 a.m. Snack 1
11:30 a.m.: Sun's nap
Noon: Study
1:30 p.m. Lunch
4 p.m. Snack 2
6:30 p.m. Dinner
7:30 Sun's bathtime..
8 p.m. Sun's bedtime..
8:30 p.m. Study/Blog/Unwind

As I said, I'll post daily and make sure to live life in betweek eating lol Trips to the park, store, zoo, cleaning, etc. I just didn't feel it necessary to get into details as far as those were concerned. :)

What can you do/tweak to make your routine work more positively for you? Can you really commit to something for 30 days? 60 days? 90 days?

ETA 6/6/09: OK, so I decided NOT to do the Special K challenge BUT I have had breakfast the past three mornings... I will have it tomorrow as well directly after my morning workout. Yeah!

30 Days to Form a Habit

I had a little bout of the lazies directly after getting back from Florida. And that lazy turned into my new habit vs. doing my program.

I knew I should have taken my workout with me, but I just couldn't see toting my weights in my suitcase. In hindsight, I could have packed my bands and just did altered moves because once you stop for a bit it's hard to get back in it because the pain you have to prepare for is all brand new. And brand new pain is worse than "feeling the burn" pain.

At any rate, I've still been eating well and haven't gained any weight and I'm ready to get back in the "habit." I've been a busy bee, with different volunteer work and working my job(s) but I've also been looking for new contracts and work. So I haven't been totally useless and up until last night, I hadn't touched my bar since Cinco de Mayo. Progress indeed... but last night I made a couple Screwdrivers to take the edge off after a conference call of inaccuracy and ineptitude.

Be that as it may, I will start using a calendar (I look at one every day at my desk) to plan out what I should be doing... because in essence, I should be working out in the early mornings, scheduling a part of my day to study, working a block of hours etc.

If it's one thing I am coming to terms with is that I will be 30 in a little more than seven months and there's so many things I need to get together professionally and personally by (preferably before) then. My work situation, weight situation, etc. are going to do nothing but discourage me extra if I am still experiencing the woes with them as an full-fledged adult. I say that not saying I'm not an adult now, I'm as adult as they come but there's something serious about leaving your 20s behind.

This Sunday, I will be Biking the Drive. And I bought a new bike on Sunday when I was volunteering for early registration and packet pick-up for the event. I fell in love with The Globe:
a lil hybrid baby like the one pictured, but in silver. She even has a lil bell. :)
I had been contemplating for months on what kind of bike to get. And after test riding a couple, this one was the winner. I also bought a helmet, say whaaaat? I can't wait to ride it this Sunday, but lookin forward to putting plenty of miles on her.

They say the drive is beautiful, so my friends and I are gonna get out there at the very beginning (5:30 a.m.) and ride Lake Shore Drive and watch the sun rise... and then have a nice pancake breakfast afterwards.... soooo looking forward to it.
So, SUNDAY is the (official) day where I will have my stuff back together. I am letting that be the symbolic beginning of my fit life... again... and 30 days to form a habit... I think I'd only done the program a few weeks before Florida came around. I have got to shake this stagnance that tries to overcome me... continue to live freely even when life tries to hinder me. You know?

Can you commit to something for 30 days to make it a habit? Let's start today. For me, that means starting to remodel the house. I will be starting that today in just a few hours. Tell me what your commitment will be... and let's do it together.

Running Wid Scissors

I have been battling with trying to resume my run activity for about a week. My homegirl in Michigan recently heard she had high cholesterol and immediately (same day as doc appointment) went to get a gym membership and the next day ran/walked a couple miles AND has already registered for her first 5K at the end of May! How AWESOME is that?! :) I mean, some people just get it started right off bat... no hesitation. And I love that. However, since I don't have THAT kinda luxury (I mean who will watch The Sun?!) I have to plan out how things are going to happen to a fine print so that there's a less chance of it falling through (i.e., failing) on me.

So wid that in mind, I am in the process of finding a running stroller so I no longer have an excuse as to why I can't go running. The gym membership is a dead issue to me since it's trying to get nice outside. Since I am a toddler's mother, I can find excuse after excuse as to why I can't do something... but not anymore. Yesterday, I had to get out of the house while contractors were working on the porch... (well not HAD to, but they were loud) so I did all my errands on foot. I already have a stroller, but it's not for running. The running strollers are made wid a special three-wheel set up for easy pivoting, built for speed etc. Some can get very, very expensive because they're trying to be lighter, have better tires, hold big ass children (up to 150 lbs) etc. Yesterday and today are the "research" day where I looked into the top recommended brands and how much they run. I will use a couple days trying to see what I can do/find on eBay as Craigslist in my area left one lonely stroller and it was listed for $200! Get back, jack! That's slightly above my budget. If I could find a gently used one for $100 or less, I'd be happy. I can upgrade later yanno? All else fails, I'll spend $150 or so at Target and call it a day.

My background while not very intensive says that I CAN run, I've just chosen not to. I've done slightly-competitive 5K WALKS and have started Couch Potato to 5K more times than I can remember... but now that I am back active, for the first time I don't feel like I am forcing myself to get involved. I was a runner in high school... so I know I got it in me. Plus there's nothing like a runner's body... *wolf whistle*

So here's the plan:
1. Subscribe to Runner's World Magazine. I received a subscription special in error in the mail and took that as my first sign that maybe I should stop thinking about it and DO it. (I've been considering running again off and on for years). *writes check, seals envelope*
2. Find a stroller. Any leads, recos highly encouraged.
3. Go find a nice, comfortable shoe made for my weird feet. I ain't gwan spend more than $120... so don't even try to make me. The trial issue of the magazine they sent to encourage me to get started said you can go out (to start) wid the shoes you already own so long as they are comfy, but my current trainers have quite a few miles on them (they're two years old) and I have shin splints from my track days, so I would rather just get a new shoe off bat. But will start in them if everything else falls in line.
4. Start fixing my diet. As a runner, you kinda HAVE to get your diet in better check because the food fuel literally gets you through the run. So there's an idea. I hope to be hitting the old dusty trail wid in a week or two (depending on shipping). Till then I am scheduled to do 4-mile walks twice a week and my strength program I've been up to.

Wish me luck in finding a good, sturdy running stroller, for an affordable price. That's truly the most important component... if I had that I could at least get started and the rest will come. Early morning run, strapping him in and getting to it. Don't talk about it, be about it... get runnin and put the scissors down.

60% Mental 40% Physical.

So, I found and accepted a different job (part time) during my maternity leave and told my previous employer to kick rocks. And I am settling into my fourth week of work of the new gig. I like it. I'm a marketing/office manager for a much smaller company and it's working out very well.

Speaking of working out... I have not been. After like my first week of work, I went to pick out (i.e., shop for) a few choice items at a couple of my favorite stores and they were four dress sizes larger than what I was last year this time. :-/ Needless to say, I didn't buy everything I wanted... my pride wouldn't let me.

I originally wanted to be 14 pounds lighter by next week, seven weeks ago. This really isn't going to happen. Since this is absolutely not going to happen (I've actually gained some weight since I let the cookie fetish WIN once I got back to work and cooking daily starting to dwindle) I've got to start anew... really getting on my game.

Not only do I need to get on the ball with my certifications, but also I simply must just GET in gear. And I have finally admitted to myself that I need help... accountability. SO, Friday, I got up at my normal time and went to a WW meeting before I went in to work. Yep, I signed up again. This time it was for the monthly pass that includes FREE eTools (that makes me happy, I loved eTools but not enough to pay $12 a month or whatever it was for it). As usual, it's taken me a few days to get into the swing of things.

But today, I finally got my water intake and I took a vitamin after forgetting to do so for two days in a row. I also, after not being able to crawl out of bed this morning because RJ was irritable and wouldn't let me go very far, worked out to my step DVD. Erm, for 17 minutes. *sigh* The DVD was 30 minutes long. I felt flushed and hot and my thighs were stinging in 17 minutes. Finally RJ started whining in his bouncer chair and I used it as an excuse to stop. I probably could have finished, but man, it was a mess.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like a complete novice loser -- NOT that people who just get on the ball are losers. That is totally NOT what I meant but for ME, I am in a slump. Any who, this feeling is something I hadn't felt since I first decided to get back on the ball and take charge of my health/weight in Summer 2003. The first time I remembered I used to be a dual athlete in high school and tip-top shape. The first time (since that one time in college) that I went to a floor aerobics class and was sweating like a faucet. It left me breathing like my lungs were on fire.

I feel it in my body when I walk around the house. Things jiggling cause they have lost their muscle tone and it kind of depresses me. I know I have a beautiful excuse, who lays next to me sleeping as I type... but it's still a little hump to get over. But today, I no longer live in the dark. I accept the fact that while I am still fabulous, there is work to do. No more pretending it's not happening. I have to take control before it gets outta whack. I have to start being accountable for my actions. Weight Watchers helps me do that. They WATCH me. I have however, decided that I am going to get a note from Sandy (my nurse gyno) saying what weight is a healthy for me. While Weight Watchers wants me to be 135, I think that's a bit too small for me. So my LM goal will be 145. As of my weigh in Friday, that's 33.6 pounds AKA the weight I was a mere last summer. It's so amazing how fast it can come back without paying attention.

This blog is my first step at not only being more accountable for myself, but also as a great marketing tool (of some sort) for my fitness business. I will be on the scale once a week. The OFFICIAL scale... watching it decrease and resuming the life I once loved but with an adorable addition -- my family.