Wrap-Up (Days 9 & 10)

One minute you're up.... and the next you're down. Welcome day 9.

Today was a good day fast wise... but emotionally I am still a mess. I am exhausted of near everyone and everything but my sun and my fast. MC'ing is like cheap therapy! I've been writing and expressing and releasing and what not while those closest to me get it hard core. It's like I can't just have a straight month wid no bullshit. And I wonder if that's because I need to purge my life along wid my body. I often wonder if I need to completely clear the roster and really spend that time focusing on Rj and me... if there's anytime to be self-involved, I can think of none better than for my child. In similar news, I am seriously considering returning to my predominantly vegetarian diet... but I wonder if I could keep him healthy.... ehh, I got off on a tangent. Not eating will mix you up something awful....

*refocusing*

The cleanse. It's worrisome, but quite a... relief. Because I've been telling people exactly how I feel. No holds barred. Which works for me because I've usually held back sooo much trying to be the bigger person all my life it's nice to just be like... "you know what? eff you, sucka!" lol Though sometimes it's left field. Because I've been crying for two days, my coparent has been the blunt of several angry, "you are a terrible person" texts, my friends have been brushed off with "got too much gwan right now" texts and the person who's on my mind the most, I wonder how it will ever be.... see, emotional mess.

At any rate, I've meditated on it... and I have decided to continue on through the weekend and break on Tuesday when I'm going back to work. There's a luncheon for my students that day, so I will have OJ for dinner on Monday and breakfast on Tuesday and the salad portion of my lunch. I'll pack some raw almonds and make a fruit salad cause I'm sure the lunch @ the banquet will be something heavy and perhaps not very tasty.

Sooo, yeah, my tongue has returned to pink about 90% so I am thinking these last few days will wrap it up nicely. Feeling good, but my 85/15 live foods menu is calling my name! Mmmmm mm! I will say that I do have spurts of really low energy throughout the days. A headache here and there but overall my energy is good. I try to get to bed directly after meditation (I'm meditating twice a day). That's usually when my body can't take anymore anyhow... I wonder if it's normal to be up and down like that in the later stages?

At the home stretch now... my family will be glad when I'm done. My sister says I sound sad. I told her it's not because I'm fasting but because we spoke at 8 a.m. lol

Forward!

3/24/09 ETA: I started breaking fast Saturday... with lotsa OJ. I didn't weigh myself as it wasn't about weight at all... in gen, I feel much lighter and just clean and vibrant. It was a good 10 days... I am extremely proud of myself, and will repeat in the summer. Thanks for listening to me ramble about my random mood swings, and the trials and tribulations of fasting. It was an interesting ride.