UPDATE BLOG: Are you hurt? Or are you injured?

Hey! I'm still here! :)

"Are you hurt, or are you injured?"
"What's the difference, coach?"
"If you're hurt you can play, if you're injured..."
~ "Coach Winters" in The Program

Well after a few frustrating days of not being able to see my doctor or schedule an appointment, I decided to show up today on a morning I knew she was scheduled to be in a different office to walk-in and see a new primary care physician. He saw me and my knee and even though the "treatment" of it is spanned out over four weeks, I'm happy that the ball is even rolling. Because it definitely wasn't getting better with R.I.C.E.ing.

So he prescribed me some stronger ibuprofen than what I have in the cabinet and scheduled me for an MRI for the first appt I could get (8/25) saying that hopefully the ibuprofen will start to help the swelling before then. There's like a little bubble of ... something... sitting inside the left side of my left kneecap. And then I follow up with him on 9/8 (the soonest we could meet b/c he's goin on vacay for two weeks and since I just kinda deciced to switch to him as my primary care... he was originally gonna have me see my old physician and I declined. Who knows, maybe a lil ibuprofen inflammatory twice a day (I would never think to take that much ibuprofen in a day) might actually help a ton and by the time I see him he'll have even better news for me.) In the meantime, I'll wait. It severely throws off my timetable, but I'm just gonna start getting in about 30 minutes of the elliptical three times a week... not too long, but enough to get something done. And possibly some swimming. (I don't like the upkeep of swimming with all the showering in the gym and swim caps and carrying on lol) and staying as flexible as possible in hopes to keep up my endurance so that when this is all said and done, I can pick up where I left off, repeating week 4 and moving on with my life. Hopefully that won't throw off my training for my 5K too much. It's still 11/1 so hopefully all will be well. I have high hopes.

As of this morning I'm doing best to follow the Fat Smash Detox as of this a.m. I have never been very successful doing this... why, I'm not sure especially when I have managed to Master Cleanse for several days in succession. So this time, especially since now my activity has severely decreased, I need to make sure I follow the eating "rules" to continue to be able to positively contribute to the challenge I'm in on Spark People. So far today, I've had a small something every couple hours. Banana for breakfast, strawberry protein smoothie (with a cup of real strawberries in addition to the strawberry mix) and then two veggie kebabs with zucchini, squash and yellow pepper. Very tasty. I am soaking my red beans to make vegetarian red beans and gonna make a big pot of brown rice for the "heavy" stuff. But keeping it predominantly veggies and fruits and actually gonna really stick to the guidelines of how you're to prepare them: steamed, raw or grilled. Wish me luck.

30 X 30 Challenge
Thanks to Allyn, a Spark buddy, I was motivated to SHED 30 pounds by our 30th bday. She's a Capricorn as well and our 30th bdays are in days of each other. It's ironic because I'd thought to strive for that before, but the impatient girl in me, really wanted to get it done MUCH sooner than that. But that is also how I have done in the past. I put a LOT of pressure on myself to meet these dates when, sensibly, it would be better to give myself more time, even if I don't need it. It's just the fair thing to do. I owe myself that. My birthday present to myself will be MAINTENANCE. lol

Well, actually, I am looking into a February Ski/Super Bowl trip to the Catskills as my belated present. But my real present is maintenance. :)

Good-bye "Good" Parts!
Even in all this madness, I have still managed to lose a nice amount of weight (even tho the doc's scale was like 4 lbs heavier than what my home scale says I am... oyeee... need a new scale, man) and I want to keep these results.

I really, truly... truly miss C25K. I had no idea I could enjoy running so much. It's very empowering. And I hope I can get back to it a lot sooner than later.

A little while ago, I wrote a blog about losing the "good parts" . I am proud to announce that those good parts are slimming on down. My tight skinny jeans... not so tight anymore. I am seeing the results of my work and it makes me feel so great.

I caught a glance at myself in the full-body mirror and while I AM trimming down the "good parts" I'm also toning them up and lifting thangs splendidly... and guess what? The man notice anyhow.

As I told BUTTA... the men are taking notice not only because our BODIES are changing but WE are changing. Our self-esteem grows with every workout we finish, every inch we lose and every muscle we gain. Yay for us.

In the meantime...
I finally bought my poster board. I am about to use my "down" time as a breather to get my collage done... I am excited about the project and can't wait to post pics.

Keep moving...

This Stops... Right NOW!

My thoughts today were like my bloated tummy... bulging out my head like my muffin top was over my loser jeans. And then it went from thoughts of bloat to laze, then laze to loser... Well, dammit, as of now, I lose no more.


As I am changing my life and diet and health (yay) I have come to terms with my "issues."

The number one issue: my tummy.

In high school I had a "glimpse of a four pack." I was a dual athlete and still didn't have a six-pack of perfect abs. So now as a near-30-year-old mom, I have pretty much set my sights on never... ever... having the stomach I really, really want. BUT, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. But what I am noticing is, my stomach is a lot kinder when I eat the right foods. For about five days I lived with a flat tummy... I had one bad day yesterday scarfing down cakes and popcorn and carbo loading and the bloat is back... could there be something to eating right that might get me THE tummy I want? (Whoooaaaa there ya go, Einstein!)

I saw on The View this morning that when you have a baby your stomach muscles tear something like 20% during and after childbirth. And the chances of getting your tummy back up to par are very slim AND that if you really want that to happen the sooner you start your post-partum exercises, the better.... ummmmm well, my sun is 2. lol Sooooo that pretty much is a big ol kick in the jaw for your girl. I am LATE. lol AND I haven't been on my best behavior for two years either, so this is really, really bad news. Ha!

At annny rate... I'm still going to give it an old-fashioned try. I felt like a complete and utter loser after munching on all that stuff yesterday. Even sadder? I KNEW I would. Seriously. I kid you not, on IM with my homegirl while baking the cake I said, and I quote: I know I'm gonna feel like sh*t afterwards... but I'm gonna eat it anyway.

Really hormones? Is this the score? Self sabotage is a BIA! I mean... truly. How could I just not.care? Then today it all made sense. This is what I have always done... not.care. Well, I'm done not caring... ESPECIALLY about myself. I'm done putting myself behind everything and everybody. I'm taking a mini-vacation the second weekend of September. I'm gonna go to Wisconsin for Fit Fest and earn some CECs by participating in some fun, healthy activity. I'm gonna research some walking trails while there and just spend some time doing for ME. In nature, with like-minded people and the goal is to be even smaller (5 lbs less, a couple inches here and there).

I told my Hot 2 Trot Cutie teammates today that I want my house in the shape it's SUPPOSED to be in by Sept. 1. And I will get it there. All the updates done, floors cleaned and waxed, shelving up, closet finished. I'm starting this fall with a clear mind, top-shape home and a new me... when smaller aspects in your life are in order, the rest flows better.

As apart of The Biggest Loser Challenge (8-weeks) that ended today I lost 9 lbs! 25 more and I'm at the middle of my goal range... the time is now. No more dumb-ass binges... no more sabotage... no more silliness. It's time... time for me to start becoming the best me. I am not perfect nor will I ever be, but I'm tired of causing the issues. Causing the trouble. Tired of bloating... tired of moping... tired of not living to my potential. I've been holding my own self back.

This laziness has got to go. Don't we deserve to be our BEST?

Let's start putting self ... first. Because when we're happy, everything else will fall into place and we can be who we need to be for the ones we love, the jobs we frequent, best contributors to our places of worship... guaranteed! We're so brainwashed into thinking we can't do something... we don't. Let's STOP thinking like this. Stop defeating ourselves before we even try. I CAN have a great stomach. I can take charge of my healthy life. I know I will. Will you?

Hi/Lo

HI: The Need 4 Speed

Welp! After several days off I finally started my second week four today and it went great. YAY! I am kicking those run intervals butts!

I've decided to only do one more day of week four at this speed (I took a chance and upped my speed varying between 4.5-4.8) on Thursday and then start W5D1 on Saturday, buttt because week 5's day three is to jog for 20 minutes (or 2 miles) straight (oyyeee) I may do day one a couple times, day two a couple times then day three. After day three I will repeat for a week, doing one to two of those runs outside. I'm nervous bout 20 mins straight; I just haven't done it in a loooong time -- oh wait, scratch that, I've never done that. Ha! So it's hard to see myself doing it but, I WILL DO IT!

I've mentioned that my first 5K is November 1. I was originally shooting for late September/early October, but I wanted to spend a little more time preparing hoping for it to be as competitive as I can push myself versus risking the possibility of having to stop because I'm not properly trained. What I didn't take into account is that by Nov. 1 in Chicago it's gonna be CHILLY! So that's a whole different training method. But it's cool. By 8/26/09 I should be ready to take it to the pavement. Very scary stuff, man.

BUT, I'm gonna do this.

Thanks to upping my run speed this a.m. (I did the first week four at 4.0) in 27 mins walk/run I covered 1.85 miles. In the first week 4 I covered only 1.5 in the same time.. so progress. :) And it felt really good.

LO: Get Thee Behind Me, Satan TOM!!
With the old "red eye" in plain view, my cravings and emotional eating have started. I musta lost track of the days because yesterday I didn't understand why I was close to eating too much and today after my third serving of pasta (whole-wheat of course) it was like "ohhhh, that's right!" Now I am currently fighting the urge to make the Devil's Food Cake that's been sitting in my cupboard forever. Perhaps that's why it's there?! *sigh* This is going to be a constant battle, isn't it?

I'm not afraid of maintenance... but I am gonna have to burn mad calories tomorrow. Cause I'm makin the damn cake.

.... don't be like me.. lol be better. I'll consider it my cheat day and move on.

A Dieter's Prayer

Found this on a Spark buddies page... just awesome. lol

A DIETER'S PRAYER

Lord, won't you help me?
It's that time of year.
Winter has come and gone.
Springtime is here.
In this season of flesh,
Won't you show that you care?
Lord, won't you heed
This dieter's prayer.

Teach me tonight
To love cottage cheese,
Grapefruit and celery,
Lord, if you please.
Make me believe
That tofu's a food,
And not something you made up
When you were in a bad mood.

Lord, won't you help me?
Show that you care.
Lord, won't you heed
This dieter's prayer.
Make me believe
That ice cream's just awful,
That the devil is hiding
Inside every waffle.
That mayonnaise is nothing
But a communist plot.
That broccoli is good for you
And chocolate is not.

Keep me away
From the refrigerator door
When life is a trial
And love is a bore.
Save me from nachos,
And tacos and chips,
For what goes in my mouth
Always lands on my hips.
Oh, pizza, oh pasta,
Oh, popcorn, oh, pork!
Get thee behind me
Oh, knife and oh, fork.
And chicken fried steak
From the deepest of south...
Oh, Lord, if you love me,
Won't you please shut my mouth?

Oh, Lord, do you hear me?
Honk if you're there.
Lord, won't you heed...
You know my need...
Oh, Lord, won't you heed
This dieter's prayer?

So how bout we all just DO IT... don't DIET!

Weekly Reflection... Percentages... Injured Randomness...

So with weigh-in upon me... this day has been an energetic ride uphill... hard. I've been reflecting since I woke up from my late nap (6 p.m.) My food tracking has been kinda shady and sporadic the last couple days. And I got on the scale and saw a number I didn't appreciate despite seeing a number I appreciated yesterday. Now, because I know it's not always good to weigh yourself everyday, and ESPECIALLY not different times everyday, I wasn't trippin too much on the numbers/difference but it DID make me wonder about how truly committed to this I am. With a sore knee pickin at me since Tuesday, I've wondered about everything about it from it being a simple sprain that will fade with time to an injury that will be with me for the rest of my life. I immediately (in my world) was angry with myself because well, our knees suffer from the pressure of our body weight more than any other joint. And here I am 30 lbs heavier than I should be. Of course my poor knee is gonna whine. *sigh* Then I thought about my poor tracking.. knowing how important it is to journal food... how could I let this fall by the wayside? I want to be in MAINTENANCE MODE by the winter... how in the heck can I get there if I am not committed EVERYDAY?

So I started thinking, what percentage am I giving?

Anyone can log a thousand fitness minutes a week but if that person is still eating trash... the results will be less than stellar.

Likewise, if one is eating clean without any activity, you'll see the difference but muscle tone and strength and overall health are lessened...

These two are interchangeable... and once I really realize that, perhaps that is when I will really start to morph and see that. I have to learn to balance life, love and all that's in between for myself... to get to 100% committed. Nothing less than that will do. With that said, I've decided to start sharing my food trackers. Not that anyone will really read them, but knowing that someone might... perhaps that'll keep me accountable.

Blah... It seems I'm in a mood.

Blame the "injury"... reflections eternal.

Head and Shoulders, Knees and Woes... Knees and Woes.

I felt so good when my eyes popped open this a.m. then I placed my feet down and felt that it wasn't a dream, I did hurt my knee and it was still quite tender. The PLAN was to go to the gym this a.m. and give the elliptical a spin. But after a little bit of thought, I decided to take it easy today and see what I feel like in the morning. (Tomorrow is SUPPOSED to be my third day of week four but we shall see.) I did 20-minute Turbo Jam (the culprit that pulled my knee in the first place) and it didn't feel too bad. I moderated some of the moves to low impact not because I was hurting but to be safe.

My focus today was super clean eating (ehh, I did OK) and cleaning the kitchen (halfway done) since I am getting around on it better than yesterday (ahhh, progress). I was also supposed to do Turbo Sculpt for what I thought would be some upper-body lifting but I turned it on and it was a lot of whole-body work (i.e., bicep curls with squats etc) and I didn't want to overdo it... cause I'm praying I can get through my run OK tomorrow morning. But I did make sure to do SOMETHING.

I didn't ice much today as expected.. I only rested and elevated it a lot. I'm just really praying that I can get back on the tread tomorrow for a successful W4D3. I just really enjoyed Tuesday's run and want to get back out there... plus I feel and see it working in my quads, hammy's, hell, even my abdomen... even at a glacial pace of 4.0... it starting to thrill me. But, I'm not idiot. If I have to wait till Friday or Saturday, I guess that's what I will have to do. It'll just be a little frustrating; but off bat I was planning to spend at least two solid weeks on week four before moving on to Week 5. This is the first time I've experience a knee problem so I am really out of my element on how to address it. But I've been reading helpful articles and feel confident and blessed that it wasn't worse and I am taking proper precautions. It could have been much worse, sidelining me indefinitely yanno?

In more exciting news, I am moving my closet frames upstairs tomorrow finally so that we can start putting them together and adding the walls and prep for the poles and things. So it's gonna be a busy day whether I like it or not. So hopefully I treat my knee well enough tonight that she praises me with act-right tomorrow. :)

This was originally gonna be a "sad" post... filled with "woe is me" but it turns out I may not need to turn on the dramatics after all.. the small set back was just a slightly painful, irritating reminder to ALWAYS practice perfect form, keep soft knees and watch for foot/ankle placement in aerobic activity. And who doesn't need to know those hard-fast and important rules? If we're gonna be doing this for a lifetime journey (as we all should) we're gonna need to make it as safe as possible.

Onward and downward!

Week (4) In The Knee(s)

Today was W4D2 and it was AWESOME. NO shin pain. I decided to run at a speed of 4.0 (15-min mile). By slowing it down from jump, it seems my my shin really appreciated it. It's still soon time for new shoes. The side of my foot, (perhaps a bunion? not sure need to get an expert opinion it's been there as long as I can remember) was rubbing and irritating me so a larger shoe (as the guy at the store suggested) will be in order. But besides that, the shoes and I are starting to mesh.

So I did 35 minutes of that and then (since I got off to a slow start this a.m. and wasn't able to check out the jump start cardio class at 6:15) came home and did 20-min Turbo Jam. During it, I think -- no I know -- I pulled something in my already tender knee.. Ugh.

I've been hecka active lately... not including my 1500-calories burned day last week, I'm upping my cardio more and more AND my intensity levels. I've also been spending this week getting the house in order... for real this time!! Yesterday I finished the entire upper level to prepare for the closet frames that are being moved upstairs Thursday. I need to workout as much as possible and get the house together before I go back to work. School is back in session very soon.

If I have it in me, I'm gonna do Cardio Party (42 mins) for Turbo Jam. Oh, and I must must must do squats today. Trying to keep my booty spectacular and this cardio is already trimming at it. Bitter sweet this workout business is, but I can keep it tight and high. lol BUUUTTTT with a sensitive knee it would probably be best for me to R.I.C.E it and try again toma, starting with low-intensity. My homework assignment: find a Y with yoga and water aerobics. Need those kindsa activities to combat high-impact runs and Turbo Jam.

In nutritional news, I am cutting my calories a bit this week to kinda shock my system. Only thing is that went to sh*t yessaday... so boo to that, but today is a new day and the smaller number on the scale this a.m. was motivation to keep it together to prep for Friday's weigh-in.

I made a raspberry strawberry protein smoothie to utilize my last cup of raspberries before they went bad. LAST time I buy "exotic" fruit from the Food 4 Less in a crunch instead of waiting for Saturday Farmer's Market. Ugh. *scoffs* Food 4 Less... it's less alright! Food 4 Less Quality.

My shake had me completely full until lunchtime AND it was delicious. Hopefully Ricing for today and toma will help. If there is a God in Heaven. I don't want to detour or deter my progress thus far. Oyeee... just when I get one thing figured out, mo drama. Wish me luck.

Runner In Progress

WELP, I did it!!! I started week four today!!! I blogged about how I was gonna abort the last day of week 3 and move on to week 4 since I felt so comfortable.

Week four consists of two five-minute runs and two 3-minute runs with various shorter walking spurts. I FINISHED!!! I ran each segment I was supposed to, didn't stop. *SMILES PROUDLY* I am so proud of myself, ya'll... you really don't understand.. I could tear up a little bit.

I feel great.

Not saying it wasn't a challenge... Of course Oh Shila started whining a little bit, but I just made sure to cool down, taking the speed down on the walking, walking pigeon-toed then sleuth footed, then pigeon toed etc... whatever adjustments to calm her down then I hit my run intervals again. Making sure to take my time and stretch really well, holding each move for 20-30 seconds after a 8-minute cool down. For a total of 35 minutes of activity. I was running at about 4.5 for the first interval (3 minutes) but knew that I would probably have to take it down some after the 90-second interval because next us was FIVE MINUTES! Eep!! Shila's ass was like, oh no HONEY! I don't know WHAT you thought this was!" But I was like, "shut the hell up and hook it up!" :-) In every relationship there needs to be compromise, so I took my speed down to 3.8. I felt like I was walkin in sand, BUT I can work on speed later. Let me get her to cooperate first then we'll start doing competitive timing. We'll stick to this for a few weeks and then we'll reassess, deal, Shila?

There are little euphoric feelings like that of doing your workout, completing it and being in line with your caloric intake. It's enough to make me emotional. Next run is Tuesday morning, but KNOW that the work doesn't take a rest until then. Condition! Condition! Condition!

I see my runner's body hanging in the closet with those smaller clothes with the tags still on them... and I am gunning for em all. This is goin to be a GREAT first week to kick off August and round off the summer. Let's do it!

August Attack

With a new month upon us (man, this year is really flying by... I'll be 30 before I know it) I thought it time to re-establish my goals and see what I am doing here. I want to be 165 by September 1. That's gonna take work, commitment, and will power. But I really know I can do it. Not only because I've done it before, but because well, I have to!

But this time is different. Not because it'll be the last time I ever have to make this dance (because believe me, it will be!) but because my body is different. As you know, I have a 2 y/o so I truly believe that my new after-baby body is a little more... stubborn to let the weight go. I need to be disciplined if I am going to persevere. As I've mentioned I am already redirecting my mindset to a healthier living. I just bought more brown rice instead of white and have all whole wheat pastas, breads... and I would have whole-wheat crackers but I wanna finish the Ritz I bought (which claim to be whole wheat but are less than 1g of fiber) quite irritating lol.

At any rate, I did well under my max calories first day of the month. I didn't workout today as planned deciding to take a rest day. I'll be up early for my morning run on the treadmill starting week 4. That's right... week 4! :) I've decided it's time to move forward. I still don't have new new-shoes but my new ones and I are meshing a lot better these days. So I'm gonna check it out and see what happens on those 5-minute intervals.

Day in... day out.
I need a routine for my routine. I have accepted the fact that adult life (hell, life in general) comes with a routine, but have not made the routine work for me to the best of it's ability. It is my ultimate goal to be blessed to wake up January 12 as an even more beautiful, 30-year-old, 140-lb woman, with beautiful teeth, hair, skin, nails and a muscular, toned defined runner's body. And I will. Because I always get what I want and work hard for.

Today began a series of events that is going to reshape me from head-to-toe.... inside out.

I finally, finally replenished my Hair, Skin and Nails vitamin but I went with a different brand. I kept missing GNC operation hours so decided to get it from Dominick's where I went to buy low-fat Coffee ice cream for my Mocha shake (167 cals) I made. (Thanks Weight Watchers cook books!) I also bought (because it was on sale) the Nivea body Good-bye Cellulite 30-Day Body Beauty Program.

I realize you can't get rid of cellulite but these creams and massages are supposed to decrease the appearance of it. Since I don't have a lot of cellulite (and because it was only $10) I thought it would be a cool monthly experiment. It also comes with a little dietary supplement of conjugated linoleic acid and L-Carnitine . So tomorrow I'm gonna take some pictures and see where that leads me come day 30. See if I notice any change or if I just donated $11 and some change to the Nivea fund. :) With this supplement, that will leave me taking 5 pills a day... oyeee... but it's worth it. Just imagine if I could take a pic of my insides? We could see the change over time... but we'll see it on the outside. We all know great health starts from the inside out. From the food we eat and water and nutrients we ingest, we transform our body on the outside with a little sweat of course.

Plan of Attack:
I have decided to go to NETA Fit Fest the second weekend of September to finally lock in the rest of my first re-certifications and get.it.done. By then, it is my hope to be as CLOSE to 160 as possible. Then I will immediately start looking for teaching jobs. Immediately. It is time.

Basic Schedule:
(It's a lot more detailed then this, but here's the public version)
Sunday
C25K 30 minute morning run training
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push Ups

Monday
60-90-minutes of cardio

Tuesday
C25K 30-minute morning run training
30-60 minutes of cardio
10 push ups

Wednesday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen

Thursday
C25K 30 minute morning training

Friday
60-minutes of cardio
8-min Thin Thighs squat regimen
10 Push ups

Saturday
(rest)